How To Let Go of Something You Cannot Change: 13 Top Ways

This article has everything you need to know about how to let go of something you cannot change.

It can be tough to accept that you didn’t achieve your desired outcome or that circumstances didn’t align in your favor. However, it can be even more daunting to move past the disappointment.

If you’re finding it hard to release something that’s beyond your influence, keep in mind that it is possible to do so. Start by recognizing your emotions and the reasons behind your distress. Then, alter your perspective of the situation and modify your mindset and thinking. Ultimately, be prepared to let go of the past and move forward.

How To Let Go of Something You Cannot Change:

1. One effective way to deal with pain, confusion, or obstacles hindering you from moving forward is by journaling.

If you’re unsure of the root cause of your emotional state, taking the time to write about your experiences and feelings can help. Through journaling, you may identify negative thoughts or beliefs that are preventing you from letting go of something.

It’s also a safe space to express and process your emotions. When writing, be honest and open about your thoughts and feelings. Don’t worry about spelling, format, or making sense.

Just write freely and stop when you feel like you’re done. Remember that processing everything may take time and multiple journal entries. So, take your time and write as often as you need to.

2. To release negative thoughts and emotions, mindfulness can be a useful technique.

Begin by sitting down and asking yourself, “What am I feeling?” Pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without responding to them. After a few minutes, shift your focus to your breath. Notice the sensation of air moving in and out of your body, and allow yourself to feel any emotions that arise without judgment.

Throughout the process, continue to focus on your breath and breathe through each experience. It’s essential to keep in mind that mindfulness and meditation may not come naturally at first.

It can be challenging to practice, but with consistency, it gets easier. Try not to get discouraged if your mind wanders, and always return to your breath.

3. Affirmations can also be a powerful tool to help you let go of something that is troubling you.

Find a statement or mantra that resonates with you, such as “I let go of what no longer serves me” or “I release my attachment to the outcome.” Whenever you feel stuck or overwhelmed, repeat the affirmation to yourself as a reminder to let go. You can write the affirmation on sticky notes and place them in visible areas like your computer monitor or mirror.

Consider setting reminders on your phone to display the affirmation throughout the day as well. With practice, affirmations can become a powerful way to shift your mindset and release what no longer serves you.

4. One way to symbolically let go of something is by creating a ceremony.

Choose a time and create a meaningful ritual that works for you. For instance, write down all of your thoughts and emotions surrounding what you cannot change.

After finishing, burn the paper as a symbolic gesture of letting go and moving forward. If you need support, consider inviting a trusted friend or family member to participate.

Alternatively, you can create a symbolic gesture by gathering items that you associate with what you want to let go of, and dispose of them. For example, if you want to move on from an unhealthy relationship, you could remove any reminders of the person or relationship and write a letter saying you are ready to let go.

Burn or throw away the letter and the reminders, and imagine releasing the attachment. These ceremonies can help provide closure and allow you to move forward with a sense of peace and resolution.

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5. Being compassionate towards yourself is important when facing disappointment.

Acknowledge that not getting what you want can be difficult, and accepting a different outcome is a way to show yourself compassion. Take the time to reflect on your feelings and the reasons behind them.

If you are feeling sad or upset, it’s okay to express those emotions and allow yourself to feel them. Tell yourself, “It’s okay to feel disappointed and it’s natural to want things to go a certain way.”

Talking to trusted friends or family members can also provide support and help you feel less alone. They may be able to relate to your experience and provide reassurance that your feelings are valid and normal.

6. Instead of focusing on your desires, it’s important to consider what you truly need.

Sometimes, relationships may not go as planned, but it’s crucial to differentiate between minor conflicts and serious issues such as abuse. For instance, if you have a fallout with a friend and you feel the need for an apology to find peace, you can try to let go of the friendship and move on.

Remember, peace can be achieved even when you don’t get what you want. Similarly, when faced with a loss (1), such as the death of a friend, it’s crucial to accept that what has happened cannot be undone.

You can move on by choosing to forgive and saying to yourself, “I choose to forgive and move on.” Even if you don’t initially believe it, it’s a step towards healing.

7. To better cope with letting go of something, it’s important to recognize what you have control over and what you don’t.

This can help you feel more empowered and in charge of your emotions. While you may not be able to control the situation, you can control your reaction to it.

For instance, if you didn’t get a job you wanted, you can’t change that outcome, but you can control how you choose to respond and move forward. It’s natural to feel disappointed, but it’s important not to let that define your self-worth. Remember that feeling in control of your life and decisions can contribute to your overall well-being, while feeling helpless can be distressing.

8. Consider the bigger picture when faced with disappointment.

While the situation may seem significant in the present moment, ask yourself how it will impact your future. Will it matter in five years? Are there any positive outcomes that can arise from this experience?

Even if you feel discouraged and uncertain, it doesn’t mean that other opportunities won’t come your way that will benefit you. Think about other possibilities that could be available to you.

Perhaps you didn’t get your dream job, but you could come across a similar opportunity or choose to explore a new career path. It may also be helpful to reflect on past disappointments and how you were able to move on from them. Did they have a lasting effect on your life or were you able to let go and move forward? This can provide you with a wider perspective on the situation.

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9. To let go of something, it is essential to accept change.

It may be hard to accept when you had your heart set on a particular outcome. However, embracing change means you are no longer dwelling in the past and are ready to embrace your present and future.

It is normal to feel uncomfortable when faced with change, especially when it is not your decision. But once you move past the discomfort, try to accept your circumstances. For instance, if you were planning to purchase a house, and your offer got rejected, acknowledge the rejection and redirect your energy towards finding another house that suits your needs.

10. When you’re faced with change or have to let go of something, try to find the positives that come with it.

Even though it may be difficult and painful, look for any silver linings that can emerge from the situation. Perhaps you’ll discover your own strength and resilience, or gain clarity about your goals and life direction.

You may even learn who your true friends are. For instance, if you’re struggling to get over a breakup, you may realize that you have a supportive network of friends who love and care for you, and who are there to help you through tough times.

11. If you’re feeling resentful towards someone who has hurt you in the past, forgiving them can be an important step towards letting go.

This doesn’t mean that you condone their behavior or forget what happened, but rather that you release yourself from the pain and negative feelings associated with the situation. Forgiveness can be a private process and you don’t necessarily need to communicate it to the person in question.

For example, you might write a letter to a parent saying that you forgive them for not being there for you in the way you needed as a child, recognizing that they did their best but it wasn’t enough. This can help you move on and find peace with the situation.

12. Seek support from friends and family.

It’s important to have someone who can listen to you and empathize with your situation. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your loved ones when you’re feeling down.

They won’t consider you weak or burdensome for opening up to them. Meeting up in person is ideal, but you can also communicate through phone calls, emails, or video calls.

Make an effort to catch up with your friends regularly (2), even if you feel like isolating yourself. Remember to reciprocate and listen to their stories as well. This will help maintain a healthy and balanced relationship where both parties feel supported.

13. Consider joining a support group where you can connect with people who have gone through similar experiences.

In a support group, you can share your stories, offer support, receive advice, and connect with others who understand what you are going through. If you feel like no one can relate to you, a support group can help you realize that you are not alone. You can join a local support group or search for an online support group.

Letting go of something you cannot change can be difficult, but there are several steps you can take to help you move forward:

  1. Acknowledge and accept the situation.
  2. Practice self-care and find healthy ways to cope with your emotions.
  3. Focus on the present and future instead of dwelling on the past.
  4. Consider other opportunities and possibilities that may be available to you.
  5. Find the positives in change and look for any silver linings.
  6. Forgive those who have hurt you to release yourself from pain and resentment.
  7. Lean on friends, family, and support groups for help and connection.

By taking these steps, you can learn to let go of what you cannot change and move forward towards a more positive and fulfilling future.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about how to let go of something you cannot change. I sincerely hope its contents have been a good help to you.

Przemkas Mosky
Przemkas Mosky started Perfect 24 Hours in 2017. He is a Personal Productivity Specialist, blogger and entrepreneur. He also works as a coach assisting people to increase their motivation, social skills or leadership abilities. Read more here