If you want to know how to deal with jeaolusy, you’ll love this article.
Jealousy is a common emotion and is experienced by about everybody at certain points of their lives. It is an uncomfortable emotion which has led people to desiring love and attention while others have done irrational things.
Jealousy is a killer. Relationships end because of jealous conflicts and people kill other people just because they are jealous. Jealousy is best described as angry agitated worry. It is an emotion which is commonly seen when an individual in a relationship feels threatened by forces outside of the relationship such as other people.
How To Deal With Jealousy:
Jealousy will be common in close relationships such as in friendships, in platonic relationships, parent-child relationships, at workplaces, romantic relationships, among siblings, and many other areas of life. Competition is most likely going to build up the emotion.
It goes without saying that we have experienced jealousy at one point or the other. This is especially so with our friends, families, boyfriends and girlfriends, husband or wife and this is because the emotion stems out of love and the desire to protect the relationships that we already have. On the contrast, jealousy can be the destroyer of the same relationships.
Jealousy is most times confused with envy and these are two emotions which are most similar. Envy is associated with the love for material things such as you might be envious of something that is possessed by somebody else. Jealousy and envy will almost happen together.
Jealousy is about relationships and what you might feel now or at a later time. It has been known to bring down relationships. It is often a stumbling block to any forward momentum in the life of an individual. It can signal the time to make changes to your life or situation in order that you can move to the next level.
It is considered part of the emotional growth of an individual. In this case, anytime an individual experiences jealousy becomes a good opportunity for the person to work on themselves to find out and address the fears which might be causing the problem.
Jealousy becomes a big problem for many people. The knee jerk reaction is always to blame other people never seeing your part in the whole problem. This is recipe for disaster to wholly put blame on third parties when the problem is right at your door step. Jealousy has always been associated with people and not the relationship between them.
The study of the problem has revealed that it has a lot to do with the personality of an individual as opposed to the relationship. The personality traits of an individual will most likely influence their likelihood of working on their relationships and more so making things right. It is not uncommon to find out that the most insecure people will struggle with jealousy.
The personalities who are more likely you have the problem of feeling and acting on jealousy are people such as the insecure, the emotionally unstable, and the neurotic. These are people who will be prone to jealousy often questioning their relationships, their partners and the fidelity of their partners especially in matters of romantic relationships.
For this group of people, it is important that whenever they get the feeling of jealousy, they must look inward to their individuality and self and evaluate their role and their fears. This will help the individual to motivate himself/herself to behave differently in ways that will benefit the relationship immediately and in the future.
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On the other hand, the people who are more agreeable and are open minded, compassionate and cooperative will most likely suffer from the incidences of jealousy. These are people who often cultivate the virtues which are considered necessary to do away with the jealousy.
They are able to communicate openly and will take the time to check in on the other person and can cope even when a partner is away. By nurturing the relationship even when one is away is the real deal in beginning to get a holder on feelings of jealousy. Taking time to think through issues without yanking off the handle with accusations which are baseless is important to ensure that the relationship remains strong and healthy.
Take time to sleep on matters and make the choice of voicing the suspicions or raising them when concrete information has been collected. Baseless accusations will only make things worse since your partner will be defensive, angry, and resentful. Always take time to think and reflect on the way you feel.
So in dealing with a problem especially one that is raising the temperatures and is making you feel jealous, spend time thinking about it. This is important since it will help you approach the conversation with your partner with a lot of consideration having out your thoughts in order and having found the right word with which to approach the issue.
Having the right words ensures that your partner does not feel like is an attack or like the blame has been entirely place on his side of the court. Make sure the conversation is constructive and that you will be in a position to give your partner time to listen and respond to what has been put across.
How to deal with jealousy in a relationship
Jealousy is perhaps most common in romantic relationships where it is also perhaps at its most destructive often causing moments of heartache. Jealousy in a relationship isn’t always easy to handle. It has been found that jealousy isn’t always a sign of weakness or insecurity. Psychologists have found that it could also be an expression of love.
An understanding has to be found so that individuals know how to deal with jealousy in a relationship and experience a happier relationship. This is because it can confuse anyone into believing that an otherwise strong relationship is threatened even when it is just the perfect relationship between two people.
Jealous feelings and thoughts in a relationship are always a sign of social insecurity and low self esteem. Jealousy crops up in many ways, you may not like the fact that a partner is hanging out with someone else and having a lot of fun, or you may just feel insecure about losing your lover to someone else more appealing. By feeling threatened your partner might find someone more attractive, you may activate jealousy as a way to cope with this threat.
In other cases, jealousy is an adaptive emotion or a coping strategy. Some people will do it to keep defend their rights and keep themselves from being surprised or to help them defend their rights and also to force their partners to give up interests placed elsewhere. Others will use it as a strategy to learn what might be wrong with their partners or what a partner really feels. Yet other people will use jealousy as motivation to abandon a relationship and by so doing avoid getting hurt.
Jealousy in relationships and all other worries which tend to be associated with it are often found to be leaning on the negative. It is used to interpret signs and actions in an irrational manner often as loss of interest or as your partner having found interest in other people.
The connotations here become personal and preposterous often reading everything done by a partner as negative. An example is that she is dressing up to attract other men or he is yawning because he is disinterested or because he finds me boring and uninteresting.
In a relationship, jealousy due to a misunderstanding can be acceptable but irrational jealousy is not in any way understandable. Remember that jealousy is actually one of the biggest causes for the downfall of a relationship. Jealousy instead of bringing partners closer will almost always end up driving them further apart. Confidence and trust in your partner will always work towards building a strong relationship and eliminate jealousy.
How to deal with jealousy in the workplace
Jealousy at the workplace (1) is often a difficult situation and which you might not be very easy to deal with. Jealousy and envy at the workplace are often problems which very common. Our world today has become very competitive owing to difficult economic times.
Competition at the work place for favors and promotions will often lead to the buildup of emotion. Stress and insecurities are also found at a higher incidence than at any other time. These are some of the factors that contribute to feelings of jealousy at the workplace and these will be directed at colleagues.
Due to matters being taken personally and with negative leanings, workers can become very difficult to deal with. Jealousy at work means that it will adversely affect your professional life and any upward growth in the profession. It will also affect productivity at work and many other aspects of work.
Incidences which cause jealousy at the work place include a co worker getting a promotion which you all have worked for very hard, someone receiving apparent favors, the feeling that a junior has taken a position you thought your experience should have carried the day and many other situations.
Dealing with jealousy at the workplace demands that you have to learn from every experience. For example, if you do not get that promotion try and find out what made that other person receive the job and work to get it right or fill the gap identified. Be honest with yourself and with everyone at the workplace.
Your feelings should be based on the truth evaluation of yourself and of your situations. A simple face-to-face talk with jealous coworkers is an easy way to clear things up and resume productive work. Building relationships is also important and by knowing a person better you get to understand them and work with them harmoniously. Cultivate relationships inside of normal working hours and outside of these hours.
Problematic situations can be escalated to the immediate supervisor or the manager to keep them informed of a persistent problem. Lastly, focus on your goals and work towards achieving them without undue comparison to other people at the work place.
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How to deal with jealousy in friendship
Jealousy in friendships can be sickening in the manner in which it is able to affect the dynamics of the relationship. If you are feeling jealous and insecure in a relationship, you will need to work on a number of things and most important is self esteem. Learn the causes and triggers of the feeling of jealousy.
For example, ask yourself these questions. What things make you feel jealous of your friend? Does he or she make more money than you, does she/he have a better job, does he/she look more attractive than you, and does he/he have a bigger social circle (2) or does he/she enjoy an easier lifestyle? Make sure that you work to resolve these issues on your own.
Again irrational jealousy is the big problem here since it will cripple the friendship. These are steps which can help in ensuring that a friendship is not ended by jealousy issues.
Begin with eliminating the atmosphere of competition which may have developed between you and a friend. Another option is that of avoiding situations where you end up feeling jealous. Instead you can focus on doing things which both of you enjoy and which will build a better friendship.
Eliminate any insecurity that you might have and which will most probably affect a friendship through the jealousy feeling. This can be done by recognizing your strengths and utilizing opportunities to place you at a good level to make you feel good about yourself. This will helps you appreciate, admire and complement your friends and their strengths or good fortune.
Lastly, do not give in to manipulation. Refuse to give in to anything which does not offer mutual benefit or which will leave you feeling jealous. If he or she tries to make you feel guilty, you may need to confront the manipulation outright by stating your stand and staying true to it.
Dealing with Jealousy
Here is a point which must be understood, jealous feelings are entirely different from jealous behaviors. It is the same as comparing feeling angry and acting angrily and in a hostile manner. It is important to note that your relationships and friendships are more likely to be laid on the line by your jealous behaviors which include incessant accusations, attentions and reassurance seeking, pouting, nagging and acting-out.
You will not have to be jealous or rely on jealousy and jealous behavior to make your friendships more secure. What is needed is more effective behavior in dealing with the people who are close to you through actions such as rewarding each other for thoughtful actions and positive action, sharing responsibility and experiences and even setting out the expectations to be seen in the relationship.
Engage in these actions to ensure that you do not fall into jealous feelings and into jealous behavior.
Start by building your self confidence so as to avoid jealousy. Learn what your strengths are and know that these strong points make you worthy in every aspect. Allowing insecurity to creep in will always make you feel jealous and act in a jealous manner. Stop finding faults by comparing yourself with other people.
So, learn to appreciate the qualities that you have and get support from friends or family. Fixing a mental image is also part of the process of beating jealous feelings and the behaviors. Mental self image works wonders in that it is able to have a great impact on self confidence and the ability to remove all feelings of insecurity and jealousy.
Being assertive is another of the techniques which can be utilized to ensure that you do not get jealous. Assertiveness is the habit of communicating your feelings and demanding that your rights are respected. Aggression is not equated to assertiveness. By being assertive and individual is able to fight jealousy at all times.
External changes have to be included in all that we do especially when it comes to the things which make us feel jealous. It is not all about the inner self. Some of the things which make us jealous are achievements which you have worked for and not achieved and other people get these accomplishments.
You can take this as an opportunity to learn from them what they did differently to get an achievement. Then try and fix that which was not right and you will find yourself on a similar path to success minus jealousy or jealous feelings.
Insecurity is another of the big problems which bring about jealousy. Insecurity can arise from various different aspects of life and which make an individual feel very bad. Insecurity in a relationship and at the workplace will bring about jealousy and this will put to an end any meaningful engagements and end results.
You have to conquer your fears and especially the fear of rejection so that you are in a position to remain in the best possible stance of dealing with jealous thoughts.
Anger management will go a long way to managing jealous feelings and the jealous behaviors. Anger can be as a direct result of being jealous. Anger will not only make you feel bad and frustrated but it will also destroy your relations with others. In order that you successfully deal with jealousy, make sure you know how to control and manage your anger to avoid unwanted consequences.
Cultivate open communication and build trust especially in the romantic relationships. Talk to your partner about your feelings especially grading that you do not blame them. Let them know what makes you feel worried and jealous and work out something amicable.
Prepare what you want to say, and talk to your partner in a non-threatening, neutral atmosphere. Give your partner the feeling that you trust him or her because suspicion will never work positively. You should believe that your partner cares as much about you as you care about him or her.
Conclusion
Jealousy is a natural emotion which can be painful and difficult to control. It is most common in romantic relationships, although it also occurs between siblings and other family members, in friendships and in professional relationships. A small amount of jealousy can be good especially if it is mild and well-managed. However, extreme levels of jealousy can completely destroy relationships and damage your health.
Jealousy and insecurity can only be dealt with by finding out the root cause of these feelings. There are many reasons that can account for the feelings that you have now and the root cause of each problem has to be identified.
Serious forms of jealousy can hinder your relationship. On the other hand, it is a sign of love after all. Don’t give too much power to jealousy. Jealousy is an expression of the fact that you feel comfortable with a certain person and that nothing or nobody is allowed to break this contact. Learn how to cope with fits of jealousy and your relationships will be the better for it. It will certainly promote some form of attachment.
Thank you for reading this article about how to deal with jealousy and I really hope that you take action my advice. I wish you good luck and I hope its contents have been a good help to you.
