Want to know how to behave on first date ? Then you’re in the right place.
There are a lot of things and most of all – your actions and gestures, which affect the definition of your first date with your partner and determine the conclusion that the fact of whether the meeting proceeded successfully or not.
Therefore, before venturing on your first date, read a few tips that will serve as a guideline to the behavior model which will contribute that your first date passes well and opens a door to many upcoming dates.
We all have stage fright before a first date with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Some admit it, some not, but no one is indifferent. Everybody thinking about what to wear, how to behave, what to talk about, how everything will go, whether he/she will kiss me etc.
The first date is something like an interview. The whole point is that you represent yourself in the best possible way, but don’t take this too seriously.
The main goal of the first date is to get you to the second, and then the third and we all know what goes after the third one. That’s why you need to show your true colors, but not too true, the hard things leave for the second date.
The first date is a very important thing and, so to say, the first step is very important and crucial in what direction will the relationship continues to evolve. The first date is a very slippery slope and we must all be careful and to take care not to make common mistakes.
There are rules of behavior at the first date concerning both the man and the woman. In any case, a goal is to leave a best impression. You will not have a second chance to make a first impression.
You fell in love and finally gathered all the courage to call the person at the first date, and all you need is a few good tips so your first date should not turn into a total disaster. We are here to help you, so you do not make basic mistakes and you can make an excellent first impression.
How to behave on your first date
Here I will give you short but very important practical advice that every boy and girl should know and apply at the first date. Tips regarding how to set up and behave at the first meeting in order to leave a good impression and feel comfortable.
Behavior that should befit well on the first date should include after all, your maximum relaxation and naturalness in communication and access to a partner.
So make sure to be as natural and relaxed as you can. Even if you feel a degree of nervousness and discomfort, admit it and say with a smile that you are a little nervous. It will sound sympathetic to your partner and will contribute to he/she smiles and both of you relax.
Do not try to pretend you are someone else, not at the first date, nor at any other date. Unnatural and artificial behavior will be noticed sooner or later and can lead you into a situation that partner become disappointed in you. So be what you are and relax.
1. Smile and be positive.
It is important to show that you are in a good mood but not euphoric.
Your good mood will make you and she or he feels good and comfortable in your company.
2. Talk about your interests, good experiences, things you love.
In this way, you will show who you are and the other side will have the opportunity to see that you have something in common, whether you look alike.
Talk only about positive things without exaggerating and lying. It is essential that the person likes exactly who you are.
3. Listen and ask questions and sub-questions.
Show that you are interested and able to listen. That is very important. It is important to show that you do not think only of yourself and you’re thoughtful.
4. Be natural and spontaneous as you talk to your best friend or a neighbor.
If you do that, you will not be anxious and you will be the best version of yourself. This is what you need. The most beautiful you are when you’re authentic and it shows in your appearance.
The opposite is also true when acting and forcing it to be something that you are not, that is transparent and you will look strange, affected or inhibited by the stage fright.
5. Just don’t try too much to impress.
What more, forcing to impress someone, the less chance is that it will happen. Your job should be to create a good mood and conversation in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere.
6. Do not ask for too much at the first date, only propose another meeting.
If you insist that you go to your house, which can be seen as you are pushy, “horny” and you don’t know how to control yourself.
Like I said, relax. This is your first date. Miracles do not usually happen at the first date. The first meeting is actually a conversation, which should realize that you found the person of your dreams.
In most cases, this is not just immediately clear, but without a doubt gets a much better picture of the person.
Things to follow for a perfect first date
Usually a hard time and efforts due before the first date, things do not happen just too convenient for us, but we have to try hard and wait for a while.
However, just as the path to the first date is essential, so is the first date itself. It is important what we say, what to ask and what to disregard and, generally speaking, it is important how you act as a whole.
Pick the place for your first date- Be original and avoid the usual places, a popular coffee shop, restaurant, and cinema. Make sure to make a choice of some unusual locations to surprise person and show that you are special and worthy of his / her attention.
When choosing a place for a first date, do not forget its main goal. So you want to get to know the person you are going out better. Thus, loud places, such as night clubs and places to dancing or drinking just do not come into the consideration.
It would be good to place your meeting is a cafe with a moderately loud music in what will be a moderate number of people. Specifically, do not choose places where the music is too loud because you will not be able to speak, on the other hand, do not choose the locale in which no one alive is going.
The best would be that this is a passable coffee shop, which is comfortable and where is the pleasant atmosphere. Of course, if she wants and insists that the site is of her choice than you can’t do anything than to be a gentleman and to agree with her.
What to wear?
When it comes to the perfect wardrobe choice you want to set for the first date, the most important thing is that this choice corresponds to how you want to present yourself.
So the wardrobe you dress for the first date (1) gives the impression of what you are and suggests how you want your partner to accept and experience you.
Therefore, if your goal is a long and lasting relationship, do not be vulgar dressed and don’t show all your feminine attributes to the forefront.
However, do not completely hide them and make sure that between these two extremes find some balance and middle. Be feminine, yet polite. Choose clothes in which you feel comfortable and you know how to bring up, do not let your wardrobe wears you.
It’s a bit harder for the girls. And they need more time. Take hour / two earlier to get ready. Take a shower. Wash your hair, dry it. Make your hair be natural; do not do anything special with it. Just let it be clean and radiant. Then, the clothing. Let it be a combination of relaxed, something that you will feel pleasant.
The best is some jeans (if is winter) / 3/4 (if spring) / or shorts (if summer), sneakers / boots (depending on weather) and a loose T-shirt, which is the same color as your shoes. A jacket (if necessary) or a sweatshirt. As for the makeup, it should be as more neutral and natural. Do not be pushy. You can put a little powder, but not to overuse it.
As far as the eyes, you can put some mascara and a slight shadow, such as brownish like your skin. Do not to coat the lips because he can kiss you and the boys do not like to be sticky lips while kissing you. Spray the perfume gently, without exaggeration, just to feel the nice smell. Then you are ready for going out.
For the boys, you supposed to look like you haven’t spent too much time in choosing a wardrobe and essentially that’s how it should be. Do not wear a trainer, but do not wear a suit, as well!
Try to select a combination where you feel comfortable and that you feel it’s a good look, because it’s important that you don’t feel unpleasant with the wardrobe you are wearing, as that can distract you.
At the same time, speaking of styling, you have to take into account that the entire wardrobe is clean, including shoes. Of course, the first date means a freshly washed hair, neat nails etc.
Don’t be late- It gives the impression of an irresponsible and unreliable person. If you’re late because you’re careless, it is likely that you will get a minus or even run out of second chance.
People’s tolerance is smaller and smaller. Stop for a moment and imagine how you’d feel if you wait, excited and happy, and that person is late. The first thing that catches the eye on a first date and gives the impression of the accuracy and precision and it appears to be generally reflecting on the whole relationship.
Nobody likes to wait, especially on the first date, right? Guys, make sure to arrive earlier at the appointed place and wait for the lady. Fifteen minutes earlier, it is totally OK.
It’s little different with the girls. Do not be accurate. Come 5-10 minutes later. Do a lot of thinking about topics for conversation and generally about the date. Leave this to the moment; let it be spontaneous, so it’s best.
What to talk about?
At the first date, try to talk honestly as much as possible. Give honest answers to questions that you partner asks and also expect sincerity from his/her part. In doing so, make sure that you do not cross the border of yours and partners intimacy and do not go into details when it comes to issues of previous experience in relationships and love.
On such questions, go back to the statement that you have the right to keep your past for yourself and do not insist that your partner is giving you many details about his/her past, or relationships in the past.
It will be enough to learn from partners and plead to you about what you love to do and you prefer and what kind of relationship you want with your partner.
Such details, such as the number of partners and former partners, descriptions of ex-relations and the like, can just mutually lead you to unpleasant situations, and initiate future conflicts among you. You need to let the past stay in the past and you have to be based on the present and future.
So, instead of answering questions about your emotional past and instead of interrogating him/her about it, try to focus on the story of the topics that are directly related to the two of you.
Ask him/her if he /she has a hobby and how spending his/her time. The more details each of you discovers, the greater are the chances that you will like each other.
Either way, probably the both of you expecting you to run the story and be interesting. It is not about that you have to talk about anything and everything just to talk, but you certainly should not let the girl to totally take over the story and you remain only flapping your head and listen.
Both are pretty disastrous… If you know that you’re not very interesting or funny, it is better that before the date you put the story in the paper and create the story that you seem witty and charming.
Think of a movie, a book, or indeed the situation of life that’s been impressive and likable. Just do not babbling or remain silent; try to find a “golden middle”.
It is normal and natural to expect some things to find out about her at the first meeting. She is also expecting to find out about you … But do not hurry!!! This is just the first date, where you’ll see if you respond at all to each other as people who can easily communicate with and between which there is sympathy.
There will be plenty of time to get to know each other, so do not worry! Do not ask direct and intimate questions! No way! You know what they are – the family issues, property, former boyfriends and so on.
And whenever you think to ask her something you’re not sure you should, think about whether you would feel comfortable that the girl asks you the same question.
So, the first coffee date are for casual stories (and questions!). Just relax and be yourself! Sometimes the small gaffs and awkwardness know to be irresistibly charming and nice. Just don’t be a douchebag.
Things not to talk about on a first date
There is no specific recipe for appeal. But some things we can agree, in general. For instance, about the fact that those who never read tend to give the impression of annoying and ignorant person or that we all prefer to date with women who do not carry out comparisons in relation to her former boyfriend.
We are giving you the 7 phases that are often enough heard during meetings that have become more or less credible sign that we should be cautious. Therefore, read very carefully and avoid ladies who talk about the next…
#1- “I’m obsessed with animals.”
Maybe a bit unfair common stereotype, but it is partially true and worthy of note: Adult women who are obsessed with animals, whether dogs, cats or whatever, is lacking in the field of basic maturity. Nobody is saying that we should not love their pets as if they were part of the family – we understand that, really.
But the woman who still dreams of becoming a veterinarian, although working as a PR for years – not realizing that to become a veterinarian must have several years of serious study and will then be faced with an extremely demanding and not at all clean job which has very little to do with sweet, soft and adorable animals.
#2- “You would really like my friend.”
Maybe this is just a case of clear and effective communication, because when a woman tells how you’ll get along well with her friend who is on the other side of the bar in which you are, what to imagine except she is trying to “throw” the same friend at you.
We take this for a reasonable, well-articulated statement that she is not interested and would rather like to hook you up with her friend.
If this means that a man’s world thinks it is, then it’s all good – we’re all on the same side.
#3- Something religious
If men want to know more religious minded people, they would be addressed by an online dating site that gives emphasis on religious affiliation.
As usually is, most men sitting at the first date in a secular organization of society and whatever religion they belong to do not even think that it would be interested in the other side of the table. For such things, there is a time and place, and the bar is not any of those things.
#4- Too much, too soon
It’s great to have a partner who is positive about sex, but that does not mean that it is necessary to speak at the first date on which what likes and dislikes during sex. Each of you will soon discover the sexual preferences of the other, it is unnecessary to hear explicitly certain “sex-facts” during the dessert.
#5- “I don’t like to read.”
“Really, you don’t?” And although she doesn’t, she should have a little common sense to keep this information to herself at least on the first several dates with the new guy. To not love reading, in this time of civilization, as if you do not like to go out and see the light.
So much information is available to us – and TV is just the slightest tip of the iceberg – to miss all of this is simply the one unforgivable thing. Nobody wants to hear the opinion of someone who does not even read the daily newspapers.
#6- “I have a child/children.”
This is a complaint that stands or does not stand because it depends on the age in which you are located. As long as you age to late twenties this is practically very unlikely that you will hear, but not impossible, in which case the objection stands!
But when you are in the thirties and forties, you are facing different fates and complaint does not stand as such. So if you get into the late twenties or younger than that, children are the very difficult issue over which should contemplate with pouring wine and the first ordinary meeting flirting.
#7- Something racist
Next! The quickest way that the best refuse you is the use of hate speech, racist or homophobic remarks. Consider that whoever is in the midst and behaves so, obviously not quite on the same wavelength with the rest of the world and other people’s ideas.
Being ignorant these days is a matter of choice, not “native” state of things, so when she chose this path, you should take off. You need to make a very important phone conversation in a minute. And it will take the rest of the evening.
Things not to do on a first date
When it comes to a first date with a girl that you really like, a regular thing that happens certainly is – big stage freight! It is quite normal and it happens to all the normal people because we all want to leave a better impression and none of us has a magic stick and we are quite aware that everything is in our hands.
#1- Forget the monologues
Let her or him tell the story too, forget the monologue. Remember also that at the first date no one should feel like at the trial. Too many questions and aggression are not desirable.
OK, you just started to know each other and questions are inevitable, but it is important to have a border, the body language of the person can help much and as soon as you notice that she is uncomfortable, you know what to do.
#2- The cellphone
You are the person with a lot of friends or business associates, so your mobile phone is constantly ringing? We’re at the boundaries again. Of course you will answer if you’re expecting an important call, but, for God’s sake, do not let it happen to you at dinner, and hold your mobile in your hand more than a fork.
A person who spends time with you will feel neglected and insulted, and such behavior is beyond decency. If messages are coming one after another, unnoticeable turns off sounds and occasionally check that you perhaps received a message that’s important.
#3- The seriousness
It is absolutely right that you don’t act like an idiot child and grinning at each cue, but on the other hand you should not sound too serious. Girls do not like guys too serious because it’s never fun with them.
Do not talk a lot of work, problems, crisis in the country and the world and the like. Severe threads leave for serious people (they love it) and with the girls you try to be cheerful, fun, lovable, funny and above all – natural!
#4- Forcing things
Do not let what you have planned to become the forcing situation. Yet this is the first meeting and should be allowed to pass as comfortable as possible. You do not know the girl and if she says she is not going to place you planned, it is better that you get along with her and indulge her that she suggests.
You do not know why she does not want to go there, you don’t need to ask and anyway some things it’s better not to know. If you start to push it, it will be uncomfortable for her and you, as well, it’s a bad start and you should not allow such a thing.
#5- Paying the bill
The man should always pay for the bill (2) before the end of the first date. The lady could offer to pay, but the man certainly will refuse that. Here you indicate that you are a gentleman, although there are plenty of ladies who are independent and they want to emphasize and demonstrate.
After a meeting and a pleasant evening, our advice is to take a little walk and later escort a lady to the apartment, hotel or taxi. A kiss on the cheek at the first meeting is just fine if you are respected and complied with the directions on your way to the second and subsequent date.
We hope that our advice and our little tricks will help to create a good impression and to overcome stage fright and difficulties in the first meeting.
And remember – the worst that can happen to you never see that person again, or the best – meeting can be successful and repeat it again the next day.