If you’ve ever wondered how to be the alpha male, this article is for you.
What is an alpha male?
There is usually an alpha male and female for all social animals. It is the leader, the animal with the highest rank. Many people think of this term when it comes to dogs or lions, but forget that humans are social animals too. Alpha males crop up in our society all of the time.
He is the man that people look up to in business meetings, he has the women at the bar, and all the children want to be him when they grow up. The question is, how does one become that man?
In such a modern world, it seems like everyone is clambering to be at the top. Women especially have become much more confidant, secure, and independent.
It seems as though more and more men are beginning to feel scared and insecure around today’s modern woman. How can one stay the alpha male without looking arrogant or over-confident?
There is a fine line between being secure and being pig-headed, but where does this line fall?
This article will outline some of the best ways that you can access your alpha male side without going too far. These tips will help with not only the ladies, but with the work place as well.
Having the ability to be the alpha male is a skill that many seem to be losing. While there is a time and a place for all types of behavior, it seems that being the alpha male has more practical uses than being the Beta male does.
Allow yourself to be the strongest leader you can be, and the followers will come along. If you only take away one thing from this post, remember to be confident. There is no sexier quality in a man than his confidence.
How To Be The Alpha Male:
1. Make yourself known and well liked
The alpha male relates well with others. He should be able to walk into a room and have people clambering to talk to him.
But how does one get this to happen?
Make yourself irreplaceable. If you are the guy who always brings bagels to early morning meetings, or you are the guy with a new joke to tell every day then people will start to remember you. Making connections is never a disadvantage.
It is also going to be important that you know when to voice strong opinions. This does not mean compromise your beliefs, far from it.
Someone who is well educated and unafraid is very attractive. It becomes unattractive when people witness an inability to listen to other opinions and sense that you have a closed mind.
Be understanding to different viewpoints. You don’t have to ever agree with something you don’t want to. Simply acknowledge that others have differing opinions and move on. Heated debates are uncomfortable for all parties and it will not make you the life of the party.
2. Don’t look for someone to follow. Be someone to follow.
The first impression is more important than many people know. Simple subconscious choices can make the difference as to whether you are an alpha male or a Beta male.
When a Beta male walks into a room he looks around to see if there are other men he can imitate. He will notice men that seem to be attracting the attention that he wants and he will immediately begin to attempt to copy them.
This technique is fine if you are interested in being second best. The true alpha male enters a room with his head held high and looking straight ahead. He goes where he means to go and knows that others are looking to him rather than the other way around.
When you don’t really have an established reputation as an alpha male, this may seem difficult. It may feel that no one is looking and noticing your confidence.
Be patient. It will all come eventually. Be confident in how you look and how you walk.
Head high, shoulders back, and smile as if you were a politician. Remember, confidence is sexy.
3. Embrace your masculinity
The alpha male has the perfect amount of masculinity. Women are attracted to men that they think will be able to provide for them. They want a protector and a friend.
This doesn’t mean that you have to work out at the gym eight times a week; it means that you need to be calm and in control of yourself around others at all times. The phrase “calm, cool, and collected” became famous for a reason.
That reason is that it works. Being masculine means knowing what you want and not being afraid to go after it.
4. Watch others
When you are trying to learn how to be an alpha male, it can be beneficial to watch other alpha males and to figure out how they act around others.
When you interact with others it is important to show that you expect people to look up to you, not the other way around. Imitation is a great way to learn and practice however.
If there is someone you admire, it may even be a good idea to talk to them one on one and see what kind of advice they have for people that are trying to boost their public image.
Watch the people who are at the top: your boss, your father, even the president on television. These people have obviously been doing something right and it is up to you to figure out what that thing is.
5. Make others see you.
Don’t be afraid to make wide gestures with your arms and hands; however, avoid looking like a pinwheel. The larger motions will show that you aren’t afraid to be noticed.
An alpha male will be able to fill whatever room he enters, no matter the actual size of the room. You should also try to be a little louder than you think is necessary.
People talk for a reason, so why not listen to them? When you are able to show that you have paid attention to other people’s lives, people will pay attention to you.
Make a list of people’s birthdays and remember to wish them a happy birthday when it rolls around. Remember who has kids and who is married.
If you need to, you can write down important facts about people for later use. People are flattered when others remember aspects of their life. The alpha male makes others feel warm and welcome.
7. Honesty is the best policy
Trust is one of the most valuable gifts that you can give to someone. Never make up lies to make yourself seem more important. Somehow the truth will always get out and then you will look fake and people will not want be known as friends with a liar.
The more open you are with others, the more open they will be with you.
8. Go out of your way to help someone
This is an important one as you try to assert yourself as an alpha male. The more backs you scratch, the more likely you are to have your own back scratched.
When you volunteer for the projects that others don’t want, and you do so gracefully, people will thank you and look up to you. The alpha male is not afraid to get down and dirty if things need to be done.
9. Approach women
The modern woman can be very scary sometimes. As time goes on, women have increased their independence. Women are more confident, and play hard to get much more often than they used to.
When all of these factors combine, they can turn a woman into a very intimidating creature. There really is no key to approaching a woman. You just have to do it.
Those women that seem most intimidating to you, probably seem intimidating to everyone else. If she intimidates everyone else, you can bet that she hasn’t been approached much at all that night.
So what do you have to lose by being the one to talk to her first?
Chances are that she will admire your courage, confidence, and be flattered at the same time. Really the worst that can happen is a little injured pride. However, once you’ve mastered being the alpha male, you can say goodbye to the days of rejection.
10. Learn the basics of flirting
So you have approached a women, now what? Sometimes men freeze up when they are in the presence of a woman that they are attracted to. Well, there are a few things that you should keep in mind when you are trying to flirt.
a. Compliment her outfit, her shoes, her eyes, her hair, and any number of other things into which she has put some effort.
b. Break the touch barrier by lightly touching her arm or her leg if you are sitting down. This will let her know that you are attracted to her.
c. Listen to what she has to say. During your conversation, repeat some of what she said back to her. She will appreciate that you are paying attention
d. Make eye contact. She will admire your confidence and be attracted to it as well.
e. Be yourself.
11. Learn as many new things as you can.
If you have never learned how to fix a drainpipe, now is the perfect time to learn. Expand your interest to include a wide variety of topics. Learn to cook, try out yoga, play some sports, and maybe even take up bird watching. The more you know, the more relatable you are to other people.
Having new skills will also allow you to be more helpful as well. When someone’s electricity goes out, you will be able to save the day and operate the generator you have in your garage.
You will become an indispensible friend. This is a powerful position to be in because it shows that you are able to provide for those you care for. A true alpha male can not only provide for himself and his family, but he takes the time to aid anyone who asks for it and even those who don’t.
12. Be direct
Never beat around the bush for things. If you want something, ask for it. If you have something to say, say it. When you fill up time and space with meaningless conversation, it will cloud the conversations and take you further away from your goal.
People respect those that aren’t afraid to ask for what they want.
13. Respect yourself.
Break the habit of negative self talk and focus on all the positive aspects of yourself. Not only will this help you deal with stress – it will genuinely make you a happy person overtime.
14. Don’t apologies unless you really mean it
There are many situations where people automatically drop the ‘I’m sorry’ bomb when a simple ‘excuse me’ would have been more prevalent. Saying sorry when you actually mean it gives it more value and is more genuine. People around you will appreciate it a lot more.
For example you’re on the bus, trying to pass through passengers towards the exit, and you keep saying ‘sorry’ – this not only makes you feel beta, but lowers your value in front of all on lookers.
Smile and say ‘Excuse me’.
Another example, in the workplace there is a mix up or a shit storm that needs mending, rather saying ‘I’m sorry’ to your boss, confidently say no problem, I’ll have the situation sorted as soon as possible.
Not only does this make you look like a strong candidate it makes you look more dependable and alpha.
Smiling will make you more approachable and friendly. Imagine walking into the office, you see your receptionist – you look over and smile. Not only will it make you seem social it gives you more presence amongst your peers and possibly you could have made her day.
16. Physically escalate
If you’re in a situation where you’re talking to a potential partner make sure you physically escalate. An alpha male is confident with his sexuality and isn’t afraid to demonstrate it.
But keep in mind you build physical touch – start with a hand shake – hug – any small touches – hand holding and keep escalating. Physical touch can make the difference between the friend zone and her suitor.
17. Keep secrets and build mystery
Always keep a part of your life a secret and only for you. Woman will constantly try to get information out of you – fortunately that’s what they are like.
Once you reveal the information that you have the game is up. Its similar to dangling a piece of string in front of a cat, once the cat has the piece of string it becomes disinterested and stops playing.
18. Be positive and optimistic
No body wants to hangout with an emotional anchor. Life is good and you only live once.
19. Accept compliments gracefully
When you receive a compliment simply say thanks, nod or smile. Do not say things like, no I’m not good enough, or I just winged it and got lucky or anything that puts you down or negates the compliment – these are beta male characteristics
20. Do not seek other people’s validation or approval
Only a wuss needs to act in a way to get a reaction from someone. A real man validates himself. Next time you crack a joke, don’t look around at all the people fishing for positive reactions. Be sure of yourself. You are awesome.
21. Do not talk behind people’s backs
The alpha male does not need to talk behind people’s back in order to increase his value – in fact it does the opposite.
22. Do not give approval to be accepted
In many social situations we tend to agree with people’s opinion on topics that we in particular do not completely accept. Do you remember the last time you agreed with someone on a topic you did not particularly agree with? Don’t do it, stand true to your beliefs, people will respect you more for it.
23. Alpha make is not a jerk
Do not pick fights, do not bully others and do not insult people. Befriend everyone and lead. Which one is more alpha: two people getting into a fight or the alpha male befriending the opposing male and having a great time?
24. Stop looking for the right girl and become the right guy
Always look for opportunities to better your self; learn a new language, travel, take a salsa class, read books on social skills and success etc. Give women a reason to chase after you.
25. Life is short so don’t waste your time with people that waste it.
Seek people that you can learn from and that add value to your life. Once you have an amazing social circle of friends – life becomes more enjoyable and you become comfortable with your presence.
26. Make friends with woman
Being comfortable with the opposite sex is key in being an alpha male. When surrounded by women it attracts more women into your life, it builds a sense of mystery and curiosity. Essentially woman are more attracted to men who have many women in their life.
27. Do not respond to aggression with aggression
A real alpha male doesn’t need to fight since he has worked on his insecurities and has nothing to prove to others.
Not only that, the above is a great technique to psych out the opposing male – because you are calm and collected this builds a sense of nervousness and doubt in the opponent. He will start questioning his ability to take you on and back down.
A study was completed on the dominant lions, whenever a lion would oppose the alpha lion with aggression the alpha lion would react calmly and keep composure; the opposing lion would back away without a fight.
I wouldn’t recommend going out and trying this for fun, but try it next time you’re in a sticky situation. If you don’t believe me Youtube: man vs lion.
28. Make decisions
An alpha male should never shy away from making decisions for the group. Do not be the man who says, “So, what do you want to do? I don’t mind, I’m easy”. Especially with women who are evolutionary programmed to be born followers, so be a man and lead.
29. Keep your promises
If you say you will do something, do it. Don’t make excuses, be dependable.
Thank you for reading this article about how to be a alpha male and I really hope that you take action my advice. I wish you good luck and I hope its contents have been a good help to you.