If you’re looking for some strategies to improve self confidence, then you’ll love this article
What do we usually hear when shyness eats us? – “Well, you need to be more confident.” It’s as clear as if it’s that simple. Well, is it? Today I’ll tell you about the four tricks you can do to boost your confidence.
I’ve already done a few articles about confidence, or basically, about the kind of blockages we have in our lives. The very act of breaking through, I got to know myself very well through years of my education and then teaching others both the art of selling and speaking.
The gaining of self-confidence is very easy to illustrate in such simple processes, for example, learning how to ride a bicycle, how to paint a wall, how to hammer nails, generally doing everything that is strongly connected with physical activity.
Our mind is constructed in such a way that it is much easier to assimilate patterns of effective action if arms and legs are involved in the whole process of learning and gaining confidence. Therefore, it is quite natural for us to understand the entire process of such a hard knowledge transfer (apprenticeship), i.e., learning under the supervision of a master. Condition? It must be a physical activity.
Physicality in the action of learning seems to expose our weaknesses at once and gives quite quick and clear answers as to whether this is the right path for you and whether it is going to be a torment or a pleasure of physicality.
Physicality is real, and overcoming uncertainty in such aspects is connected with two factors. Learn the theory, try to succeed, criticize, and correct, try to achieve, and so on over and over again.
But it’s worse if everything we fear, our fears, uncertainties, complexes come from the inside – from the head. They are independent of our body, deeply rooted in our upbringing, emotions, our biology, cultural conditions.
These types of obstacles lurk everywhere, and very often, we do not have much influence on it, so do not blame yourself if you cannot a breakthrough. As a rule, a sequence of events or a biological lottery is responsible for this, over which you have no influence.
However, overcoming shyness, which is the cause in your head, is a much more difficult call. If you compare it to difficulty levels in the game, breaking through in purely physical activity is level 1. Breaking through if you want to approach a girl or try to get a better job or go to an important exam is level 2 to 99.
Here I will give you four essential suggestions, four quick tricks to use.
Fast Strategies To Improve Self Confidence In Social Situations
1. Look for an instantaneous stimulus
It’s a trick that lets you fool your inner critic. It appears very often in the guides of psychologists, coaches, mentors in the form of the so-called “5-second rule”. As a rule, we cannot underestimate our biochemistry in the brain in the whole process of discomfort. We can try to get around it a little bit in the short term, however. How?
At least for me, the easiest way is to listen to dynamic, energetic, and rhythmic music that stimulates me. There’s a massive difference if you approach the task you’re afraid of, without a warm-up, and when you warm up with such bright, dynamic, fresh music, you’ll be overwhelmed.
Maybe enough to break through and take the first step – and that’s the point. After the first step, it’s the next and the next. Listening to music is just one option. You can get up and act without thinking before what we had to do scares us.
That’s how I used to make calls. I’d put off difficult calls, then I’d take care of something else, and the second I remembered “and I was supposed to call there,” and I already had the phone in my hand and the number that was ringing. There was no turning back then. I had to deal with it somehow; I acted faster than I thought.
Similarly, there will be short term stimuli such as making yourself beautiful makeup, washing clothes that you like, that make you feel confident. The point is to make you look okay.
You have to know and feel it. Of course, you can jokingly twist this suggestion because when you go to pick up a girl and your comfortable clothes are week-long, stinky clothes and unwashed hair, and that’s (at least that’s how you can tell yourself) your look in which you feel comfortable.
That’s why, with some warning, when you’re 18, 19 years old, you’ve already made most of the reasonable attempts at different styles of clothing. You know what you look like and how you feel. Take full control of this zone, dress so that you know you look good, at least for a short period you will increase your confidence.
Avoid alcoholic excitement categorically. It is not the right path.
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2. Take control of your decisions
We cannot control other people, nor can we control what they think and say, so what you hear and what you experience is beyond your reach. It can often be something unpleasant. Worse, because the fear of what people say or think about your concerns and uncertainties can often be paralyzing.
You also don’t have much control over how you were brought up and what kind of biology you have and how the biochemistry in your brain is arranged, which can actively control your mood. You can’t change these things, and you certainly can’t change them as quickly as you think.
So what are you in control? Your decisions, how you react to what happens to you. Once that discovery hit me hard. We used to work on the autopilot, which means most of the time, it’s arranged for us.
First, we have a school plan, then a study plan, a schedule at the office. It’s all organized in such a way that we don’t have to think about it, get there; things are happening, come back, things are happening.
Of course, I describe the mechanism of operation on the autopilot in a nutshell, but when was the last time you managed to break the scheme there? That’s the point, to consciously break out once, second, third of that pattern. It’s not about quitting college or work or making truancy; it’s about something completely different.
Even when we have our central time of day arranged, we can always do something completely unusual for us just after, during the hours that belong to us. Go somewhere where we haven’t been yet, visit friends you haven’t talked to for five years, pay an unexpected visit to your grandparents, go to a local museum (who goes to a museum in their home town).
It’s not about becoming such a rebel or looking for trouble by force. It’s about the fact that even if we have a fixed schedule of the day, due to certain socioeconomic conditions, we always have that extra time under our control and can start to use it wisely.
Get out of the lethargy (1). It’s about training. It’s about showing yourself that you can. It’s like taking a breath of fresh air; it shows you that you can live a little bit different; you can do things a little differently than before. You can feel it for yourself. It will work well for your self-confidence, your general self-esteem.
It will give you a lot of new topics to talk to other people, it will make you a more interesting person, and your everyday life will be more revealing. There is also an aspect of physical training in this whole activity (remember, in the beginning, I said that it is best when you work with your arms or legs).
So, at this most straightforward level, the point is to direct your legs in an unexpected direction, different from everyday life. To move, to change your position, to take control of where you are, and what potential you have for variety and exciting adventures one day.
3. Set yourself up to grow up
Well, you may have a strong belief, for example, that if you were born a clumsy person at school or the stage of upbringing, you would become a clumsy person. That your abilities are constant and not improving.
For example, the ability to talk, to argue, to make an excellent impression to impress others. These abilities can be multiplied, and if you think about it for a moment, you will see that the so-called “fixed mindset,” that is, this attitude that everything is already fixed in you, is false and toxic.
I mean, it’s a fact, that if you don’t, for example, learn to speak, teach how to speak, your abilities will rather slowly, very slowly evolve in this area, but it’s enough to know that you can change this and you’re already on a better path.
The attitude to growing up is to say to yourself, “I can be better at it. You accept that the first times are bad, but as I mentioned at the beginning of the article, if something doesn’t work out the first time, you can take control of your reaction to what has already happened.
Instead of giving up, you can say to yourself: “I’ll try again and finally do it right.” It’s an understanding that this confidence will grow with trying, just as it grows with the muscles if we do some physical work.
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4. Start with physical activity
It’s a cool and relatively simple trick that tries to skip or cheat those sabotaging voices inside your head. It’s not always the trick to use, so you have to be sensible about it.
The point is that instead of breaking through in a field where you are highly insecure, you have to take the subject from the physical side, where you feel comfortable. What do I mean? Suppose you love to swim, jump in the water or go to the local skate park on skates or aboard.
Your hobby is a specific physical activity (2) that you know is cool and fun. Instead of being shy about a girl, talking about the weather, asking how she’s doing, and wondering what to say, invite her to roller coaster or pool. I mean, drop all that dating savior vivre. Come up, ask if she’s riding a bike or rollerblading and if she feels like riding a little together.
That’s it. Use a topic where you’re strong, instead of trying to combine. Of course, if you’re only strong from sticking together World War II battleship models, or building great houses, but in the Minecraft, you won’t use this way, but you don’t have to use it to pick up.
You can start with your strength. From this activity you can make excellent friends at all, not just pick up, you can meet people interested in a hobby similar to yours.
The thing is that not every trick is going to work, but if you can, use the fact that you have some physical skill that will tell more about you than you will say to yourself. Many great friendships begin with a shared hobby.