How To Be Great Conversationalist: 17 Essential Tips And Tricks

This new article will show you everything you need to know about how to be great conversationalist.

Sometimes communicating with others can be difficult! However, there are some basic conversation skills you can practice to become more confident and friendly, whether you’re talking to a friend or someone you’ve just met.

When talking to another person, try to be cheerful and engaged and give them your full attention. Ask open-ended questions to keep the discussion going, and show that you are attentive by nodding your head.

How To Be Great Conversationalist:

1. Encourage dialogue by asking open-ended questions.

By asking “yes” or “no” questions, you don’t give participants the opportunity to develop and discuss the topic. Instead, ask open-ended questions, such as:

“Tell me about your childhood” rather than “Where did you grow up?

When you have free time, what are the things you most enjoy doing?

“How did you and _____ meet?” or “How did you initially bond with him/her?”

Keep in mind that asking personal or inappropriate questions that are completely unrelated to the topic of discussion can irritate people. If you ask the same question over and over again, the person will become annoyed and stop talking to you.

2. To ask the other person to continue talking, say, “Tell me more.”

A discussion can sometimes be interrupted because the other person feels that she has talked too long or that her argument is boring. Encourage her to continue the conversation by saying, “Tell me more” in a polite and open manner.

For example, “Explain to me more about this procedure” or “Tell me more about how it was for you.” Such comments show that you care about what the other person has to say and can lead to further, in-depth discussions.

3. After you answer one question, change it.

Other people can be really skilled at asking questions, which is fantastic! Once you’ve answered their questions, continue the discussion by asking them about themselves. For example, if they ask what kind of novels you like to read, ask if they’ve read anything interesting recently that they could suggest.

If someone asks you a question about anything, chances are they’ve already heard of it, so you can focus on that issue.

4. If you are not familiar with a topic, ask someone for more information.

There’s nothing wrong with saying you don’t know something-if someone asks you or tells you something you don’t understand, say something like: “This is something I don’t know.” Could you tell me a little more about it? “

If someone makes you feel guilty because you don’t know something, they are probably not very kind or considerate.

By not claiming to know more than you know, you show that you are a real person and will probably make others think you are more trustworthy.

5. Maintain a pleasant tone to show that you are engaged in the conversation.

When you are nervous, your tone may seem strange, so practice speaking with kindness to others. When you speak, smile to show that you are willing to discuss things and help people feel more at ease.

Pay attention to your body language. Crossed arms or pulled shoulders are signs that you are unapproachable; keep your arms at your sides and don’t look at the ground.

SEE ALSO: How To Feel Good About Yourself Using These 16 Strategies

6. Use open body language to appear more approachable.

Crossing your arms over your chest can make you appear irritable and closed off. Instead, if possible, keep your arms at your sides and pay attention to your shoulders, which should be back and relaxed, not clenched around your ears.

Looking up and ahead, as opposed to lowering your head, which can give the impression of anxiety and shyness, shows confidence.

Even if you don’t feel confident and are reluctant to talk to people, try faking it with your body language; you might be surprised at how much body language affects your attitude (1).

7. Make eye contact with the other person to show that you are interested.

The most important thing to remember is that your attention is to be focused on the person in front of you, not on your phone or anything else. It’s okay if you occasionally look away and break eye contact, but try to keep your gaze on the other person as often as possible.

When you’re chatting with someone, definitely put the phone down. Both you and the other person will be distracted by notifications, messages, and incoming calls.

There’s a fine line between not looking someone in the eye at all and staring at them and making them feel uncomfortable-to appear more natural, nod, smile, and occasionally look away.

8. To ensure your privacy, adjust the volume of your voice.

If you are speaking to a larger group of people, make sure your voice is loud enough for everyone to hear. If you’re speaking in a more intimate setting, such as a restaurant or small gathering, speak quietly enough to avoid disturbing others.

For example, if you are in a loud restaurant, instead of shouting to be heard and contributing to the noise, lean closer to your partner so you can hear each other better.

9. Practice empathy by paying attention to the other person’s body language.

Tapping your toes, looking away frequently, arms crossed, checking your phone, frowning, fidgeting, or repeating gestures are all signs that the other person is impatient or annoyed. These behaviors may indicate that the other person wants to end the discussion or that they are scared or worried.

If you are concerned, you can ask if the other person is anxious or worried: “Is everything okay? You seem a little upset. “

If you think the other person is trying to stop the discussion, say something like, “I don’t want to keep you too long.”

10. Use “affirmative responses” to show that you are paying attention to the speaker.

Short words or gestures that signal the other person to continue speaking are called “affirmative responses.” Nodding your head, tilting your head to the side, and slightly creasing your eyebrows to suggest that you are concentrating are all nonverbal gestures. You can also try using any of the following voice statements:

Mm-hmm, right. Yes.

Keep in mind that if you use these comments too often, the interviewee may become distracted. When the other person stops or looks at you to make sure you are listening, this is a natural time to make them.

SEE ALSO: How To Avoid Making Careless Mistakes: 11 Practical Strategie

11. Talk about what you think the other person is thinking or feeling.

This is not simply repeating what the other person said, but rephrasing the information in a way that shows you understand what they are saying. Essentially, you want to convey that you understand the person’s feelings by putting yourself in their shoes.

If a colleague is telling you about an unpleasant event at work, you might respond, “It seems like this misunderstanding was very difficult to unwind.”

12. Don’t interrupt the other person with your own comparable story.

It’s great if you want to say something, but you wait for the other person to finish speaking before you start. Interrupting your interlocutors shows that you are not paying attention to them and are just waiting for your moment to speak.

If you frequently interrupt others, it is a good idea to say something like: “Please accept my sincere apologies.” I have a terrible tendency to interrupt people. Please continue to say what you are saying. “

13. Learn to tolerate silence and interruptions well.

It’s a natural temptation to start a conversation to fill an uncomfortable silence (2), but the next time you’re involved in a discussion, count to five in your mind and tell yourself that it’s okay if there’s a break in the conversation-it will probably only last about 15 seconds, and then you’ll continue.

If you want, you can start a new topic of discussion or just wait for the break to pass and see if anyone else has anything to say.

If the silence lasts too long, you can excuse yourself to use the restroom or refill your drink. If you want to take a break, a pause is a natural opportunity to do so.

14. Create a pleasant atmosphere by discussing rather than arguing.

Take opportunities to learn and have fun while talking with others. If someone says something you disagree with, try to understand why they think the way they do. There is nothing wrong with disagreeing, but keep your cool and remember that the purpose of the conversation is not to convince someone to change their mind, but to get to know that person better.

It is okay to stop the discussion if someone says something rude or unpleasant. Avoid judging people and try to appreciate different points of view, but if the person makes you feel uncomfortable, try to engage someone else in the discussion or find a reason to leave.

15. If someone makes a bad remark, give them a chance.

For example, if someone complains about something, consider that they may not have been able to express their feelings yet (everyone needs to vent sometimes), and if someone makes a strange comment, remember that everyone can be strange sometimes, and you too have probably said strange things in conversation at times when you were upset.

If you’re at a party and someone talks too much about their recent case of the flu, keep in mind that they may be afraid to say more to keep the conversation going. Find something you can reference to avoid bringing up the fact that the excessive sharing was weird.

For example, you might say something like: “Oh, and I think my friend was sick with the flu at the same time.” When you’re sick, what’s your favorite movie to watch? It helps keep the dialogue on track.

In general, try to keep the dialogue cheerful and forward-looking, and be respectful of others, even if you think they’re weird.

16. Stick to good topics to keep the discussion moving forward.

It’s fine to talk about difficult topics with someone you don’t know well, but if you’re talking to someone new, try to focus on topics that excite you or that you’re enthusiastic about.

Avoid revealing too much personal information to new acquaintances. Instead, talk to a trusted, close friend about the inside facts of your relationship or a personal problem you are facing.

17. Withdraw gracefully from the discussion.

Ending a discussion can be the most difficult aspect of dealing with another person. Practicing a few statements at home can help you remember them when you need them. Experiment with the following endings:

“It was a pleasure to talk with you. I have a few more guests to greet today, but I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening. “

“I have to go now, but I really enjoyed learning more about you. Could we exchange phone numbers to talk later? “

“Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me this evening. I’m off to use the restroom and say hello to a few other people, but I hope to see you again soon!”

I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about how to be great conversationalist. I sincerely hope its contents have been a good help to you.

Przemkas Mosky
Przemkas Mosky started Perfect 24 Hours in 2017. He is a Personal Productivity Specialist, blogger and entrepreneur. He also works as a coach assisting people to increase their motivation, social skills or leadership abilities. Read more here