This new article will show you everything you need to know about how to improve your social life.
Having a healthy human relation often defines your enjoyment and satisfaction in life. If you are not happy at the moment, perhaps you have not paid enough attention to how you handle your social life.
Are you sociable and friendly?
A sociable person is someone who is interested in other people, and a friendly person is someone who enjoys the company of others.
You might say you are not born with an outgoing personality, so you prefer to be alone most of the time. If you think being sociable and friendly is reserved only for the extrovert, think again.
Social intelligence is not part of personality, and you don’t have to change your personality to be more sociable.
How To Improve Your Social Life:
Sociability starts with having the right thinking.
Perhaps you harbor false beliefs about social interaction that hold you back from socializing with other people. If you are in this situation, as are many others out there, it is not too late to turn things around in your favor.
If you have the following self-limiting beliefs, it is time to throw them away and live a life filled with enjoyment and contentment.
They might not be interested in me.
You never know for sure unless you try. But in reality, many people think that way, so they don’t try to approach others whom they find interesting.
As a result, they miss several opportunities. If you are looking for a partner, who knows whether or not your soul mate is in the company of strangers?
So if you want to be more sociable, it is time to get rid of this false belief. Give yourself a chance.
Have the confidence to make the first move and initiate the conversation. Be interested with others, and you will be more interesting in the eyes of other people.
Some people are born with excellent social skills.
This is definitely not true. You can learn anything in this world with practice. Just be positive, and learn the art of making friends.
You don’t have to talk all the time and say the right things at the right time. You just need to be more open and talk freely to other people.
I am not good enough, so people won’t like me.
This thinking is so wrong and it shows you are a diffident person. Keep in mind that negativity won’t get you too far in any area of life.
If you think you are not smart enough, handsome or beautiful enough, fit enough or rich enough, you won’t make any progress in your social life.
So stay away from whatever it is that holds you back, and think of yourself as someone who is good enough.
They are talking bad when my back is turned.
This belief is absurd but very common. We mistakenly suppose people are talking about us, although we haven’t had a conversation with them.
We feel so special about ourselves that we think anywhere we go, all eyes are on us, that people stop their conversation as we arrive and shift their topic toward us.
However, the truth of the matter is that this belief is downright wrong.
Contrary to our false assumption, people are not as interested in us as we think. Shun this self-centered attitude and start going in the right direction.
Tips to Gain Control of Your Social Interactions
Here, you will learn how to navigate the social world and live a satisfying life. It all comes down to your knowledge of social environments and the driving forces behind them.
Understanding some interaction techniques and styles can go a long way toward being able to deal with others properly.
Keep in mind the following tips when handling any type of social interaction.
Be comfortable in any type of social encounter.
Our brain is a complex tool, and controlling it can be tough. We suppose reason governs our actions,
but in reality, something unconscious does. In the majority of our social encounters, we tend to feel uncomfortable in the company of strangers since our brain attempts to shield us from exposure.
However, this is a major roadblock in our goal of being more social and friendly.
This is why it is so important to condition our self to feel comfortable on any social occasion. Think that someone is already an acquaintance, not a stranger, though it is the first time you meet him.
When you feel comfortable and confident, other people might show interest in you and even like you.
When an argument arises between you and someone else, stay beside that person and not in front.
Unless you are extremely good at argumentation and you are not too emotional, it is better not to argue with someone.
Even if you win the verbal battle, the other fellow might get angry with you, as no one wants to feel he is mistaken.
So if you feel the argument you have with someone becomes more heated, stay on the side of that person. In doing so, you will no longer be seen as a threat, and so the other fellow’s rage might subside.
Anytime you want to ask a favor, start with the statement “I need your help.”
Let’s be honest: it feels good to have someone do something for us.
Either we really need assistance in doing a task or we are utterly lazy. So anytime you want to ask someone for help, get to the point up front.
Just say “I need your help” or any variation of it.
Most of the time, folks are willing to help you out. The reason is that we don’t enjoy the feeling of guilt we get each time we turn down a request and we enjoy the feeling of being the one who is able to help other people.
To obtain an affirmative response from another person, nod your head while you talk.
This trick works more often than not and uses a little manipulation, particularly if the person you are talking to is suggestive. Use this tactic at your own risk but do it in an ethical manner.
You normally want to get an affirmative response from other people, be it advancing a point of view or making a sale.
Nodding your head while trying to get your message across is an effective way to make another person agree with you. People tend to mimic what others do, so they will likely nod back at you.
This has a subconscious effect to their brains that makes them want to agree with you.
To find out if someone listens to you while you are talking, fold your arms.
Often when we talk about something that means so much to us, we tend to lose our way in our talking and forget to take heed if the person we are talking to is still listening.
To avoid wasting your time and energy talking about something important to you when the other fellow is not really interested to hear you out, do this trick.
Wrap your arms across your chest and find out if the other fellow does the same. If the other fellow is really paying attention to you, he is most likely to follow suit.
Learn the trick to remember names effectively.
Calling someone by name is very important as hearing our name being called is like music to our ears.
We feel special if other people call us the way we want to be called rather than using some general monikers. If you find it hard to recall the name of a person you meet on a casual occasion, you are not alone in your dilemma.
Many people are in the same situation.
One way to overcome the problem is to repeat a person’s name a couple of times.
For example, if someone says, “Hello, my name is John,” find a way to repeat his name, such as “It’s my pleasure to meet you, John,” and “By the way, John, how do you know Alex?”
SEE ALSO: How To Keep Someone Interested In a Conversation: (In-Depth Guide)
Concentrate on the emotion more than the topic.
This pointer is useful not only in public speaking but also in human relations.
When you talk to someone you met just recently, it is likely that the person already knows what you are going to say. Even if this is true, it should not be a reason for worry.
Your emotion means more than the topic you are going to talk about. So whatever topic is being discussed, see that you are able to induce emotions.
The three emotions you must induce are laughter, excitement and intrigue. The other person you are talking to might easily forget what you say, but he might always remember how you made him feel.
Confidence matters more than knowledge.
Take this situation and figure out who will get the upper hand.
Two applicants are interviewed for one position. The first applicant has a bachelor’s degree, two Master’s degrees and a Ph.D., while the second one only holds a Bachelor’s degree.
The former is a little shy and doesn’t talk much, while the latter sits erect, looks at the panel of interviewers straight in the eyes, shows interest in the position, and answers confidently.
If it is you who conducts the interview, which applicant will get the coveted position?
It’s all on your mind.
No one becomes good at anything right off the bat.
For instance, you won’t learn how to ride a bicycle the first time you do so. There is a learning curve in everything. However, it is possible to accelerate your learning by assuming something even before it becomes a reality.
As wise men say, you are what you think you are. You become whatever it is you think about most of the time. If you want to be friendly, think you are friendly.
What you think will manifest itself in your body language and facial expression.
Feel good about yourself.
Take the following exercise.
Stand straight in front of the mirror, cross your arms across your chest, thrust your chest forward, hold your head up high and put on the biggest smile on your face.
You should feel good about yourself (1) in an instant. Feeling good about yourself is a good way to start your day.
Assuming this frame of mind during a social interaction makes you an interesting person anyone would want to make friend with.
Live in a clean and cozy environment.
Your environment has an effect on your productivity, mood, and how others perceive you.
Have you experienced waking up in the morning without enthusiasm to do something? Have you been in a situation where you find it hard to focus when doing something?
The next time these scenarios occur, look around you. Are your surroundings cozy and clean?
If the answer is no, take some time cleaning the mess and putting everything in the right place.
When calling someone you want to meet in person, show your excitement.
Your excitement when you talk to people shows in your voice. Being excited means you are interested in them.
As has been pointed out earlier, if you want others to become interested in you, be interested in them in the first place. Plus, excitement exudes positive energy.
It makes you want to wake up each day.
How to Be More Sociable and Friendly
A sociable person is someone who likes to spend time in social occasions, and a friendly person is interested in other people. If this is your goal, the following pointers can help you out a lot.
Talk to new people and initiate the conversation.
If you sit or stand next to someone you don’t know or if a friend introduced you to a new person, be the one to start the conversation.
This might make you feel a little uncomfortable at first, but you will get used to it over time and it will become second nature to you.
It doesn’t matter if you talk about fancy or boring things. Just be friendly and genuinely interested in other people.
Approach them. Say hello. Ask them their names. Short but well-meaning phrases such as “Nice meeting you,” and “See you later” can make you and others feel good.
Keep in touch with old friends.
Spend some time talking to people you already know.
It is not a good idea to talk to them only when you need something or there is a business reason to do so. You can either call them on the phone and talk for a few minutes or visit them at their homes just to bond with them.
In today’s world where everyone seems busy most of the time, we tend to forget the importance of these simple things.
Don’t let a new person feel out of place.
If you hang out with your friends and you see a new person in the company, make the effort to talk to them first.
Don’t ignore that person, but instead try to get to know him. Remember, the feeling of being out of place can make you wish to vanish into thin air.
Engage with people more often.
See your friends, family, relatives and acquaintances more often, and spend more time with them.
If you usually see them and immediately leave after a short while, spend more hours with them, given that they are free and willing.
If you only meet people at specific times and situations like after church or during a class, see them at other times too.
The only way to become more sociable is to spend time with more people more often and engage in interesting conversations.
What to Say in Specific Awkward Situations
How do you handle a pressing social situation? Do you just run away or tell a white lie?
Running away is obviously not a quality of a socially intelligent person. Telling a white lie might work at first, but it might haunt you later when the white lie is revealed.
Often a good way to handle a tough social situation is to keep your cool and just be honest. If you want a better way, understand how to approach each type of social situation.
You want to arrange a schedule with someone.
Scenario: You plan to make a playdate for your kid with another mom. However, she is in a hurry as if trying to stick to her schedule when she gets out of her house.
What to say: “Ella, I understand both of us handle difficult schedules, so I’ll be blunt. Can we schedule a playdate?”
Here, you recognize she is busy just like you, so you get down to business right away. In this type of scenario, try to do away with lengthy and vague introductions.
You are asked of your opinion about something.
Scenario: You and two of your friends come together to eat somewhere and you stumbled upon the topic of online dating while having a conversation.
One of them is fond of online dating, while the other isn’t. After some time of arguing about the advantages and disadvantages of online dating, they asked your opinion about it.
What to say: “It all depends on what you want for a partner and whether you are comfortable chatting with strangers. But for someone like me who believes in destiny and likes casual conversation, I prefer attending parties and talking to people in person.”
This type of answer prudently recognizes both parties’ ideas, making each one feel good, but it also allows you to put an end to a debate that is going nowhere.
SEE ALSO: How To Develop Social Awareness Skills: [New 6-Step Guide]
You are to deliver a speech before an audience.
Scenario: You are at the lectern about to deliver a speech and you feel nervous. How would you start?
What to say: “At present we have the chance of a lifetime to make our brand known to a worldwide customer base.”
A factual and surprising introduction like this is one of the best ways to get the attention of your audience right away.
They are more likely interested to hear what you are going to say next because they feel you know something and they want to hear it from you.
You received negative feedback from your boss.
Scenario: You came into the office of your boss to know his feedback regarding your performance as a sales agent. Without hesitation, your boss says you are not bringing in enough customers for the company, which affects its bottom line.
What to say: “Oh, I’m taken by surprise. I really can’t say anything about it. I’d like to explain my side, but first I want to understand the whole thing.”
Your goal is to have some time to know the feedback in more detail, that is, why and how your performance is viewed by the company as insufficient.
You want your story to be heard, but first you want more information on which to base your explanation.
How to Subdue Your Anxiety in Social Situations
Have you been in a social situation where you feel uncomfortable, tensed, and awkward? No worries, all people have been there at one point or another.
But you should be able to get past that phase and feel better later in the same social setting. Staying home and avoiding people altogether is doing yourself a great disservice.
The following suggestions will get you through the hour, evening or next ten minutes of your social encounter, without having to do stupid things to flee from the occasion.
Don’t make false assumptions.
Having false beliefs about other people is the main reason why we often feel anxious in a social interaction.
So do away with the assumption that all eyes are on you and others are judging you.
Don’t focus on yourself.
Keep the reason for the event in mind, and try to appreciate the wonderful things you see, such as the accommodating staff, cozy atmosphere in the venue and the delicious menus served before you.
Don’t make hasty judgment about others.
The previous point states that it is not good to think others are judging you (2).
It is also not good to come into a hasty conclusion about how others come across to you. Sometimes first impressions are not good.
They hold you back from connecting with others even before getting to know them.
Recognize cultural diversity.
Cultural differences can provide a good chance for you to learn about customs, unique experiences and opinions directly from other people.
This could open up your mind to ideas you haven’t considered before.
When you talk to a person whose race, lifestyle, sexual orientation or ethnicity differs from yours, don’t feel uncomfortable if your conversation touches these subjects.
Our differences make us what we are and unique from each other.
Conclusion
I hope this article about how to improve your social life was able to help you to improve your social life skills, or at least give you the knowledge and the insight to know it is possible to improve your social skills, you just need to work on your social intelligence.
