In this new article you’ll learn how to get a girl to like you.
When at first you notice a cute girl, it can be intimidating to approach her. Many times girls expect not to have to make the first move, which can pose a challenge for those who are shy or who just don’t know where to start when it comes to women. Luckily, here you will find a comprehensive guide to making your move, from planning dates to getting her number to reading the signals. Whether you’re trying to make friends or meet the love of your life, here are some strategies to consider.
How To Get a Girl To Like You:
Approaching a Girl
You know the scenario: A pretty girl across the room catches your interest. You want to meet her, but how?
The most ideal way to meet girls is to have a mutual friend introduce you. If you are at a friend’s party, or some other private event, it is likely that the pair of you have a friend in common. Pull the host aside, chat politely and briefly thank them for the invitation before asking them to introduce you (that way you do not seem rude, as if you only want to talk to them if it will help you meet girls). Or, if you see anyone you know talking to the girl, mention to them that you haven’t yet had the pleasure of meeting their friend over there.
However, an introduction isn’t possible in all cases. If it isn’t, summon the courage to say “Hi, I’m _______.” Prepare several different topics of conversation or things to say afterward, in case she doesn’t start a conversation. One no-fail thing to say after introducing yourself is “I was getting a little bored, and wanted to meet some interesting people.” She will feel complimented, but because the compliment is subtle, she won’t feel like you’re coming on too strong.
Consider commenting on the atmosphere, the ongoing event, or some other aspect that you two immediately have in common simply because of where you both are. Standing in line at a café, perhaps “Could you grab me a napkin?” If there’s an indicator of one of her interests, such as a book she has in her hand or a band shirt she’s wearing, start a conversation about that.
Don’ts: Refrain from pick-up lines and profane comments about her appearance. Don’t immediately suggest a change of scenery.
Do: Try to appear confident and bold! Confidence is key, as long as it doesn’t become cockiness. If it is obvious, however, that you are nervous or shy, it is best to admit it. Acknowledge it out loud, because many girls find shyness attractive. Whatever your attitude is, own it and you can succeed.
Chatting with Girls You’ve Just Met
Congratulations! You’ve had the courage enough to approach this girl, and she’s told you that her name is Jane. Maybe you took some hints from above and at first broke the ice with some comments about the event or the surroundings, but you probably can’t carry on an entire conversation about this.
Instead, you’ll both share some casual information about yourself as the subject arises, such as where you work or go to school, and maybe some pursuits or interests of yours. Most importantly, ask her questions about what she does. Girls love it when guys ask questions, because it shows that you are actively listening to what she has to say.
Don’t be too overbearing on the questions, however, or she’ll feel like she’s being interviewed! Smile, maintain eye contact, and make sure that you don’t ask her a question that she’s already answered, or your advances will backfire and she’ll think you weren’t interested.
When talking about yourself, do not brag or exaggerate your accomplishments. Also, do not lie. If things work out between you, she will find out that you are lying, and this minor white lie will come back to haunt you.
On the other hand, do compliment her if she shares some impressive detail about herself, or congratulate her if she has big news, like a promotion.
SEE ALSO: How To Make a Girl Laugh: 16 Best Ways To Make Her Giggle
Reading Body Signals At First Meeting
Sometimes it can be hard to gauge a girl’s interest when you don’t yet know her very well. Though you may be tempted to tell yourself that things are going great and she’s totally into you (which, with these tips, she definitely should be!), you also have to objectively read the signs she’s sending.
If Jane seems tense or wary of you at the beginning of the conversation, that may not be a bad thing. She might be a habitually guarded person. However, if she seems totally disinterested in the conversation even after she relaxes, repeatedly looks away or scans the room, fiddles with her phone, or leans in the opposite direction of you, she is nonverbally telling you that she is not interested.
On the other hand, it will be evident when Jane becomes more invested in getting to know you. She may lean forward, narrowing the space between you. She may touch her hair or her face. Of course, if she is continually smiling and laughing, it is a strong indication that she’s having a good time with you.
Getting Her Phone Number
Great! You’re laughing and joking around with Jane, and maybe she does something silly to amuse you. Let’s say that Jane puts on a pair of gigantic sunglasses, and you casually say “Oh, let me show you what you look like” and snap a shot on your phone. Then, when you offer to send her the picture, you’ll get her number. Though this is the most clever and slick way to get a girl’s digits, it also requires just the right opportunity, and isn’t easy to use.
In most cases, you won’t have a chance to use the snapshot maneuver. Asking for a girl’s number “the normal way” can be nerve-racking, so one way to ease the awkwardness is to mention something that the two of you had discussed earlier in the conversation. Then offhandedly say “Let’s finish this conversation over text?” Just don’t ask for her number too immediately in a conversation.
If she is getting ready to head out and you still haven’t gotten her number, just say “OH, I just realized I don’t think I caught your number.” Then, tell her that you’ll text or call her, so that she is expecting it.
Confidence tip: Remember that getting a person’s number is a perfectly natural thing. Think of all of the phone numbers in your phone, and all of the close friends whose numbers you don’t remember getting. Chances are that the anticipation that you’re building in your head for this moment is unreasonable given that Jane will think it’s normal that you’re asking for her number.
Don’t text Jane the minute you get home. Jane doesn’t expect a text from you that night at all, so hold off until the next morning at the earliest. The key to texting girls is not to seem too clingy. The evening of the next day is a good time to text the girl, as is any time two days later. Much later than that, and you risk seeming out of the blue.
Texting too constantly will freak a girl out, and fast. Never send more than one text in a sequence. If she doesn’t respond, she is probably busy or doesn’t intend to respond, and you should take the hint. Likewise for one-word answers; after one, you may ask her a question to get the conversation flowing once more, but after two, she is signaling disinterest and doesn’t want to talk.
However, if everything is going well, then feel free to throw in a smiley face here and there, or a compliment. Use compliments sparingly, however, so that they still seem warranted and special when you say them. Don’t be afraid to start up a conversation with Jane once a day, if the two of you have established a solid connection.
How to Ask Her Out
Ask Jane out with a phone call, and score points for being personal. Perhaps propose a group date first (“Hey Jane, some friends and I were thinking about going to that concert on the square. Want to meet us?”). If you’re willing, be flirtier and act as if you are on a date in terms of paying for her and offering to pick her up.
Don’t invite her over or invite yourself over to her house on the first date. She might think that’s creepy. Instead, maybe invite her to a venue based on her interests. Let’s say Jane mentioned in your text exchanges that she loves jazz music. Ask Jane is she’s heard of the jazz festival and parade that runs through your town that weekend. If she expresses interest, ask her if she’d like to go with you.
Or, try letting Jane pick the place. If you want to be subtle about asking her out, you could start by asking her about a good venue:
“Hey, Jane, do you know of any good restaurants around here?” “Li Xi on 34th is fantastic, if you like Chinese.”
“That sounds great; want to come grab a bite to eat with me?”
If you go on a double date, or do something in a group of friends, tell your friends about the impressive things that Jane has done (“Guys, did you know that Jane is a published author?”) She’ll like that you’re bragging about her, and again you will be practicing the art of subtle complimenting.
At the end of the date, say something to hint at the prospect of another date, to get her thinking about seeing you again. Something along the lines of “Today was really fun; we should hang out again soon” should do the trick perfectly.
How to Read Signals
When it comes to flirting and whether Jane wants you to make a move, you might be completely confounded. Where do they sell how-to books for understanding women? Unfortunately, they don’t. Anyhow, it’d be more like an encyclopedia set than a book.
But there are some key things to look for when deciphering female flirting. In the initial phases, if she texts you first, it is at the very least an indication that she thinks it’s fun talking to you. Jane may invent improbable excuses just to start a conversation with you (“Hey, do you have an inflatable bouncy castle I could borrow?”). If she does, she’s trying to find a less obvious way to be around you than a straightforward hi.
When you and Jane are together, she may be just as shy as you are about flirting and making a move. Instead of being outward, she may use more slick techniques. Say that you’ve gone on a date with Jane, and now she’s invited you over to watch a movie.
You’re sitting about a foot apart, but then she gets up to make some popcorn. When she returns, she seats herself a couple of inches away — a surefire sign that she wants you to make a move. In fact, the elements of the date itself (a private setting, a movie) are both signs that she wants to get closer to you physically.
On dates with Jane, she might drop other physical hints that she wants you to flirt with her. Say you’re at the movie theater, and Jane casually has the hand closest to you upturned on her lap, or as close to your seat as possible. Jane wouldn’t place her hand in such an awkward position subconsciously; she is silently wishing for you to hold her hand.
If the two of you are walking together, swinging your hands at your sides and your hands brush together multiple times, it could indicate that Jane wants you to grab hers. Informal studies show that most people will grab the other person’s hand after they brush past each other three times.
In fact, even if Jane doesn’t display these behaviors, you can test them out for yourself! Try sitting a little closer or brushing your hand past hers.
SEE ALSO: When To End a Relationship: 33 Surefire Signs Your Relationship Is Over
Keep Her Interest
Once you have established a mutual connection with the girl of your interest, you have to make sure that you don’t become lackluster in her eyes. Keep the sparks flying, even after several months have passed.
One easy way to accomplish that is to save the most thrilling and romantic excursion for the fourth or fifth date. After a string of dinner dates and walks in the park, maybe take her hiking to the peak of a tall mountain to watch the sunset. A candlelit dinner on the roof of your apartment building overlooking the town would be sweet and thoughtful, as well. Anything you can dream of that would make a memorable and exciting date will do.
For more tame ways of keeping her interested in you, think about refraining from mentioning one impressive or unique detail about yourself for the fourth or fifth date. Jane will be more impressed when you randomly do a backflip during your fifth date than if you’ve been bragging to her about your acrobatic skills since day one.
Girls also love it when people, especially romantic prospects, are able to remember little details about them. When she offhandedly mentions that she doesn’t like green beans and you recall that weeks later, she’ll be impressed that you were that attentive and touched that you remembered that.
How NOT To Keep Her Interest
Oftentimes guys can make some shortsighted mistakes in their pursuit of girls. They may think that by giving her the “cold shoulder” they will seem more like the aloof, mysterious man of her dreams or that by playing mind games they’ll win her over. But you’re smarter than those guys.
First of all, never try to make a girl jealous; it will nearly always backfire. It is likely that she’ll retaliate by trying to make you jealous. When you get jealous, there will be hurt feelings on all sides, no matter how much the two of you outwardly pretend that you’re not playing this silly game.
“Playing hard to get” is also a common mistake. Jane will assume that you genuinely forgot to call her, or that you simply haven’t thought of her. It’s inconsiderate to Jane to lead her on, only to ignore her in attempts to seem cool. It’s understandable to limit the number of times that you call Jane per day, because you don’t want to seem clingy or desperate. However, when taken to an extreme, limited contact will cause Jane to think you’ve lost interest, and she’ll lose interest too.
You’ve learned how to approach girls, how to ask her out, and how to follow through. Now that you know what to expect and what to do, get out there and get started! You’re confident and ready, but before you can meet girls, you’ve got to know where to look.
If you are religious, one of the best places to meet girls is at your house of worship. If you meet a girl at church, you know that she’ll have the same underlying values as you— an early indicator of compatibility. If you aren’t religious, you can achieve the same effect by joining volunteer groups. Service organizations are increasingly composed of young singles.
Concerts are another great place to meet girls that at least have one thing in common with you: their enjoyment of the same band! Though the atmosphere at a concert can be loud, with little time for talking until the end, you can still get near the girl until it’s over and have the opportunity to introduce yourself.
Men also often underestimate the likelihood of meeting girls at everyday hangouts, from morning coffee cafés to dog parks to the gym. Chances are that girls frequent these places more often than anywhere else. The mall is a prime opportunity to meet single girls, since that is another place they frequent.
If all else fails, be open to friends and family members trying to “set you up”. These are the people who know you best, and maybe they know what they’re doing when it comes to matchmaking. So humor them, and go on a date with a girl they suggest. If it goes poorly, at the very least you’ll be able to laugh about it and tease the person who set you up.
Most importantly, gentlemen, do not allow mistakes, accidents, and setbacks to discourage you! Sometimes, the timing isn’t right, and sometimes things just don’t work out. Remember, however, that above all you must apologize when apologies are due, respect women, and treat them with the utmost consideration. If you do that, then everything else will fall into place.
Thank you for reading this article about how to get a girl to like you and I really hope that you take action my advice. I wish you good luck and I hope its contents have been a good help to you. Good luck!