This new article will show you everything you need to know about how to be a better person for yourself and others.
Life is a never-ending process of self-improvement. While part of our focus is on improving our education or climbing the corporate ladder, we sometimes neglect to improve how we treat ourselves and others around us.
In the pursuit of success, the concept of ‘better’ can be forgotten amid ambition and greed. This is where you begin your journey to improve your spirit and develop compassion for yourself and others.
How To Be a Better Person For Yourself And Others
1. Recognise that this is a process.
Accept that “becoming a better person” is a process that will continue for the rest of your life, and for a long time. There is no single point at which you will have it all figured out and no room for improvement.
Being open to the process of change and growth helps you develop the flexibility you need to continually become the person you want to be in all circumstances.
Accept that your goals and ideals may change over time. They may also change according to circumstances. This is perfectly normal.
2. Identify your core values.
Even the greatest intentions are unlikely to succeed if you don’t have a solid grasp of your core beliefs. “Values” are the things that are most important to you in life. They are the core ideas that define who you are and how you live your life. Reflecting on your values can help you identify what is most important to you.
3. Think about what you think about yourself.
Those around us also influence our identity. Psychological research consistently shows that individuals acquire prejudices at a young age.
These acquired habits and ideas affect how we view ourselves and others. Understanding where our thoughts about ourselves come from can help us change those that don’t serve us and appreciate those that do.
We also learn from others how to think about ourselves in broader terms, such as race or gender. These can be key aspects of our individual identity.
4. Analyse your actions critically and be honest with yourself.
Consider how you deal with stress, grief and anger, and how you treat your loved ones. Before you can understand how to grow, you must first understand how you are today.
After reflecting on your behaviour you should have a better sense of what changes you would like to make.
5. Make a list of the changes you would like to see.
Do your best to make it as detailed as possible. Break it down into parts, rather than stating “I would like to be a better employee”.
What exactly do you have in mind? Are you suggesting that you should stay after hours more often? Are you suggesting that you will always be available to your co-workers?
6. Make a list of goals for yourself.
Write them down on a piece of paper if that helps, or better yet, start a diary. This will allow you to tap into your introspective side and gain a more objective understanding of yourself.
Journaling should be a thoughtful and active practice. It is unlikely that jotting down random ideas will be of any benefit. Instead, write about the circumstances you found yourself in, how you felt at the time, how you reacted, how you felt afterwards and what you think you could have done better.
To get started, think about the following questions: Is there a bond with a loved one that you would like to strengthen? Do you want to become a better boss? Do you want to make a greater impact on the environment? Do you want to improve your skills as a spouse or partner?
7. Define your goals in a positive light.
According to research, defining your goals as “positive” (something you will do) rather than “negative” (something you won’t do) increases your chances of success. If you define your goals as negative, you may become critical of yourself or feel guilty about your success.
Treat your goals as something you strive for, not something you avoid.
8. Look for a role model.
Role models can be a great source of inspiration, and their stories can motivate us when things get tough. You can choose a religious person, a politician, an artist or someone close to you that you like.
9. Learn to be compassionate to yourself.
You must first learn to love yourself before you can learn to love others. This is not the kind of narcissistic, self-absorbed love that accepts you for the person you are, and that digs deep to find and appreciate the talents and values that truly define who you are.
Remind yourself that you are a kind, compassionate person who deserves this above all else. This, combined with virtuous and compassionate actions, will help you to be more tolerant of yourself and understanding of others.
Instead of writing from your own point of view, try writing about your experiences from the point of view of a completely kind and accepting friend.
According to research, having this space can help you process uncomfortable feelings instead of ignoring or suppressing them. Self-compassion (1) requires acknowledging your emotions.
We are often nicer to others than we are to ourselves. Embrace yourself as you would embrace a loved one.
Give yourself small doses of self-compassion throughout the day, especially when you are dealing with a difficult situation.
10. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Take time to recognise and appreciate your strengths and best qualities, whether physical or mental. You are more likely to be hostile towards others if you are angry with yourself.
Start by keeping track of when you have negative thoughts about yourself. Make a note of the circumstances, your thoughts and the consequences of those thoughts.
11. Examine your daily routine.
Sometimes we can become complacent about ourselves and our lives. Monotonous routines can trap us in reactive or avoidant behaviour patterns. Without realising it, you may have established harmful habits and practices.
Experimenting with new habits, such as engaging in social events or seeking out new friendships, can help you discover skills you didn’t realise you had. It can also help you make new connections with people and become more aware of your own emotions.
Finding ways to break free of your habits can also introduce you to new people who may change your outlook on life.
Unnecessary attitudes, such as prejudices or phobias, can often be resolved by learning about someone else’s culture or point of view, according to research. You will discover that you can learn from others and they in turn can learn from you.
12. Work on overcoming your feelings of anger and jealousy.
These feelings are normal in life, but if you are always angry or jealous of others, you will find it difficult to find pleasure. Accepting the actions and desires of others, like developing compassion for yourself, is a key step in becoming the kind of person you want to be.
We often get angry when we think something “shouldn’t” happen to us. If things don’t go the way we planned, we can get angry. Developing the flexibility to accept that things won’t always go according to plan can help reduce anger.
Focus on the aspects of your life that you have control over and less on those that are out of your control. Remember that you have control over your actions, but not the consequences.
When things go wrong, focusing on your actions rather than trying to control uncontrollable events can help you relax and feel less angry (which will come up from time to time).
13. Forgive other people
Forgiveness is beneficial to your physical well-being. Resentments and past wrongs can raise your blood pressure and heart rate, while practicing forgiveness can lower stress levels in your body.
Despite its many benefits, forgiving others can be one of the most difficult things to achieve.
Think about the wrongs you would like to forgive. Make a note of the ideas that come to mind when you think about that wrong. What are your feelings about this person? What is the state of your body?
Look at the experience through the eyes of a learner. What would you do differently if you had the chance? What would you do differently if the other person did it differently? Is there anything you can take from this experience for the future?
You can free yourself from feeling hurt by turning a painful event into a learning experience.
Remember that forgiveness is not the same as absolution. Even if you forgive, the wrong still exists, and you have not created an explanation for it. You have freed yourself from the burden of carrying your own anger with you.
14. Make active appreciation a habit.
Gratitude is more than just a sentiment; it is a way of life. Developing an “attitude of gratitude” can help you become more optimistic, happier and healthier.
Gratitude has been proven to help you recover from trauma, strengthen relationships and express compassion towards others.
Keeping a gratitude journal is a good idea. Write down things that you are grateful for. These can be simple pleasures, such as a beautiful morning or a cup of freshly brewed coffee.
They can also be things that are difficult to quantify, such as the affection of a partner or a friendship. Paying attention to these details and writing them down can help you store them so that you can remember them later.
15. Work on your empathy.
Humans, like many other animals, are designed to form social bonds with others in their environment. From an early age we learn to ‘read’ people and imitate their actions.
It is something we do to fit in, to get what we want and need, and to feel connected to others. Empathy, on the other hand, is more than just the ability to understand the actions of others and to see their feelings.
It is about imagining what it is like to live like them, to think and feel like them. Empathy training can help you become more sensitive to other people’s emotions, learn to connect with others and feel less alone.
Empathy will also help you to treat people as you would like to be treated yourself.
16. Pay attention to people, not things.
Intangible goods, such as feeling loved or doing a nice deed, are much more likely to elicit genuine appreciation. In fact, wanting more material possessions is often an indication that you are trying to satisfy superficial needs.
According to research, materialistic people tend to be less satisfied with their lives than their counterparts. They are less satisfied with their lives as a whole and more prone to unpleasant feelings such as fear and sadness.
17. Be generous to others.
Not everyone can afford to donate tens of thousands of dollars to their favourite charity, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help people in need with modest donations. Helping others is not only beneficial for them, but also for you.
According to research, people who are altruistic are happier and may even experience a surge of endorphins known as the ‘helper’s high’ as a result of doing good for others (2).
Perform random acts of kindness every day. It could be something as simple as helping an elderly person with their shopping to their car or giving someone priority while driving.
The more often you do this, the more you will discover how rewarding it is to help others, which will eventually lead you to overcome selfishness.
According to research, the concept of ‘pay it forward’ exists. Altruistic actions are passed down from generation to generation.
Your small act of compassion and generosity can encourage someone else to do the same, which in turn can inspire someone else, who in turn can inspire someone else, and so on.
18. Pay attention to how your actions affect others.
We can spend so much time focusing on our own actions that we forget how our actions affect others. In part, this is a psychological defence mechanism to help us cope with social situations.
If everyone reacts to you in the same way, you may have perpetuated some unfavourable patterns. It is possible that you are letting your defence systems get in the way of you making progress.
19. Analyse how you interact with others.
Look for patterns and find out which ones are useful and which ones are not. You can be more sensitive to the people around you if you learn to be flexible and adaptive in your behaviour.
20. Make the most of your opportunities.
Everyone has some talent or passion that they excel at and really enjoy. If you don’t believe you have a gift, you probably haven’t discovered it yet.
It is common to have to be persistent and try many different things until you discover something that works for you.
Similar types of people may be attracted to similar hobbies. Adrenaline addicts, for example, may not be attracted to a chess club, but someone who enjoys another quiet hobby may be fascinated.
Identifying who you enjoy being with can help you determine what you will appreciate.
Patience is required. Change does not happen in a linear fashion. It takes time and practice. Breaking out of old habits and meeting new people or trying new hobbies can be difficult, especially if you are busy (and who isn’t?). The secret to success is persistence.
Sign up for a class, learn a new instrument or activity that interests you.
Not only will you learn something new, but you’ll meet other people who are also interested in learning. Trying to learn something new can also be a good way to get out of your comfort zone in a safe and productive way.
21. Follow your passion.
You won’t be happy no matter how much money you make if you spend your entire life doing something you despise. While not everyone is lucky enough to turn their favourite pastime into a profession, it is important to spend some time doing things that make you happy.
Doing activities that are meaningful to you will make you happier and more content. Art or music, for example, can help you express your emotions and ideas in a constructive and healthy way.
22. Enjoy life.
Work and pleasure must be balanced in life. Stagnation and repetitive daily activities will follow if you only focus on one or the other.
Positive experiences enable us to adapt quickly. As a result, we can become desensitised to good experiences, especially if they are our only ones.
According to research, when we are in our comfort zone, we are not as productive as when we step a little outside of it. Even if it’s a little scary, it’s important to seek out new experiences and connections with people.
You’ll be able to get more done if you do.
Our desire to avoid pain and suffering can cause us to reject the need to be flexible. However, research shows that accepting vulnerability, which includes the possibility of mistakes, is essential to experiencing life fully.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about how to be a better person for yourself and others. I sincerely hope its contents have been a good help to you.