Want to know what are some signs you should break up with your partner? Then you’re in the right place.
Constant criticism (of the person and not of his or her behaviour, which could be changed), indifference and disregard – according to scientists, these are some of the signals that should help partners to decide to break up.
More and more often “Should I stay or should I go” is playing in your head, the stars in the sky form the arrow “turn around”?
If you’ve been wondering for some time whether you should end a relationship that doesn’t satisfy you, the scientists have a few hints for you.
The world of psychology is full of research on relationships, especially those that don’t work. Here are 10 signals that testify that break up is the best you can do for yourself.
Signs You Should Break Up With Your Partner
1. Constant criticism
It’s not about attracting attention because of the unwashed dishes. It is more about constant criticism of the person than about his or her behaviour, which could be changed.
These are harmful, useless, often degrading remarks that express a lack of kindness and basic acceptance.
For example, if the partner has left his socks scattered, it would be destructive for the relationship to infer from this particular carelessness the whole personality of the partner or to infer the feelings he has for you.
According to Professor John Gottman’s theory, criticism is one of the so-called four riders of the apocalypse.
If your partner engages in any of these four behaviors and does not change it, despite requests and attempts to talk, it seems necessary to consider a breakup.
If your partner rolls his eyes (and it’s not cute or coquettish in any case) and is disrespectful when you talk about something that is important to you, it means that contempt has crept into the relationship.
This feeling of reluctance, disrespect and a sense of superiority. If this doesn’t change, it’s high time to say goodbye.
Your partner thinks that the best defense is to attack? Trying to solve a conflict only leads to intensification of the conflict?
Attention meets with “but you always…”.
Let’s admit it: it’s difficult to build a closeness with a partner who responds to the fears of a loved one with comments (e.g. “honey, it bothers me when you leave dirty dishes on the table or could you clean them”, you hear “Well, I get irritated when you don’t wash dishes”.)
Lack of involvement in the relationship, emotional withdrawal, closing oneself in, changing the subject, avoiding eye contact, leaving the room… What does it remind you of?
If your partner turns into a lump of ice when you raise issues that are important to you or your relationship, it’s a red flag that warns you it’s better to end the relationship.
5. Physical violence
Physical violence is enough to end a relationship. It is any act of aggression that is intended to harm your partner and is unwanted by him/her.
6. Psychological violence
Manipulating, humiliating, controlling, intimidating (such as destroying things or threatening to take children), extinguishing…. This is a sign that you should evacuate as soon as possible.
All the more so as mental violence often turns into physical violence over time, according to a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology.
7. Divergent values
The opposites attract each other, but it is the similarities that allow us to build a close relationship (1).
Religiousness, political views, attitude to money – the more divergent the more they are, the more they will be a bone of contention.
“It’s about the perception of similarity. – If I think my partner and I are similar, it’s a good sign. It’s a great satisfaction to see yourself in your partner.
If everything seems to indicate that you are more different, perhaps it is time for a significant “we need to talk”.
8. Disproportionate involvement
One side wants stability, the other is still not sure?
There is usually something else behind this lack of readiness – uncertainty about whether this is the right person and treating the relationship as ‘temporary’.
Moreover, the person who is less involved usually has more power. This situation is a threat to the relationship.
The less engaged partner becomes more and more irritated by the pressure of the engaged person and the other is more and more frustrated.
History knows cases where betrayal turned out to be what made a bad relationship.
Unfortunately, research has shown that there is a greater likelihood that the person who committed treason will do so again,” says Pepper Schwartz, a sociologist from the University of Washington.
10. Less and less satisfaction
If your relationship doesn’t help you with self-fulfilment, if you don’t develop thanks to it, there may be a sign that the relationship is dying. . (Conversely, when a partner helps you to achieve your personal goals, you feel happy about your relationship.)
First, it is worth adding to the bonfire, trying to find a way to meet the needs within the framework of the accepted norms outside the relationship.
If this does not help, the involvement in the relationship decreases, there is a feeling of burnout and a risk of betrayal.
A sign of the end or a worse moment?
Not every scratch is an invitation to break up. After all, ups and downs are inscribed in long-term relationships.
So how to recognize whether this is a temporary crisis or a relationship is going to collapse? There is no simple answer.
A study published in 2002 by the Institute for American Values showed that 3 out of 4 unhappy marriages emerged from the crisis after 5 years (2).
As we read in Social Networks and the Life Course magazine, a 2018 survey of over 1,600 couples found that the graph of satisfaction and time spent together is U-shaped: satisfaction gradually declines over the first 20 years of marriage to glide up and down.
However, this does not necessarily have to be your story and if you feel deeply unhappy in your relationship, consider the published Social Forces survey journal from 2005.
It clearly shows that people who are stuck in unsatisfactory marriages are more unhappy and complain about worse health than those who have divorced.
Not as terrible a breakup as they paint it!
Thank you for reading this article bout signs you should break up with your partner and I really hope that you take action my advice.
I wish you good luck and I hope its contents have been a good help to you.