If you’ve ever wondered how to not have a big ego, this article is for you.
Have you ever had conflicts with coworkers, relatives, or partners who accuse you of being too self-centered? Do you find it challenging to collaborate with others? Do you think asking for help is pointless? These are signs of having a big ego.
While having a big ego can sometimes be helpful for career success, it can also harm your relationships with others. To improve your relationships, it is essential to learn how to manage and control your big ego.
How To Not Have a Big Ego:
1. Comparing yourself to others, whether positively or negatively, can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and poor decision-making.
It is important to recognize that there are always two sides to a coin, and while you may excel in one area, someone else may excel in another. Instead of comparing yourself to others, try to appreciate their unique qualities and strengths as individuals.
Remember that nobody is perfect, including yourself. If you feel the need to compare, focus on your own personal growth by comparing yourself to the person you were yesterday.
2. Change the way you view failure.
Individuals with big egos may view failure as the end of the world, but it’s essential to avoid this mindset. Fear of failure can lead to a reluctance to try again or setting smaller goals. Instead, failure should be seen as an opportunity to improve your knowledge and skills.
Each failure should be celebrated as a step towards success. Take note of how you currently react to setbacks. Do you criticize yourself or abandon your plans?
Decide how you want to react to setbacks and stick to it. Consider analyzing the situation to understand what went wrong and make the necessary changes. Encourage yourself by displaying motivational quotes and repeating a powerful mantra after each setback.
3. Alter your perspective on success in today’s fast-paced world, where success is often measured by tangible rewards like trophies, accolades, and promotions.
Relying solely on these things can lead to an inflated ego. Success can be measured in many ways beyond financial and material rewards. Success should be viewed as a journey, where progress towards worthy goals, no matter how small, constitutes success.
It’s essential to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments without boasting, while giving credit to others. Sharing success with colleagues is a powerful way to avoid having a big ego.
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4. Let go of your expectations, which could be fueling your ego issues.
Expectations shape our perceptions of ourselves and the world, influencing our reactions to the environment. By freeing ourselves from unrealistic expectations, we gain a fresh outlook on ourselves and the world around us.
Identify unrealistic beliefs that guide your behavior, such as the notion that acting confidently in a room makes everyone feel the same way. Such beliefs may alienate others, so reject “If, then” rules and define success on your terms.
Practice mindfulness to remain fully present in each moment and avoid limiting thoughts (1). Start with an open, beginner’s mind to prevent the trap of assuming that you know everything about a given situation. This mindset enables you to accept new ideas and perspectives.
5. Acquire the skill of compromising to keep your ego in check.
To improve your interactions with others at work or in personal relationships, it’s important to meet in the middle. A few helpful tips to achieve a compromise are:
Firstly, examine your motives when you face an impasse with someone. Determine if your ego is driving your disagreement. If that’s the case, then it’s important to let go and find middle ground that mutually benefits all parties.
Secondly, decide what’s important to you and to the collective goal. Keep in mind that teamwork is crucial and sometimes you have to be flexible and compromise to reach a mutual objective.
Lastly, understand that compromising doesn’t equate to defeat. Sacrificing minor things such as being right or in control can be beneficial in working with another person to achieve a common goal. However, it’s important to never compromise on your personal beliefs or values.
6. Embrace diverse perspectives.
Getting upset when someone holds a different opinion than yours is counterproductive. Disagreements and conflicts are normal and healthy in personal and professional relationships.
It’s essential to acknowledge that diversity of thought enriches your life and provides opportunities for growth. The well-known saying, “If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking,” highlights the importance of diverse viewpoints.
Listening to different opinions can broaden your horizons and help you see the world in new and exciting ways. So, instead of shutting down communication or insisting on being right, be open to different perspectives and embrace the value they can add to your life.
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7. Show genuine interest in others by being attentive and engaging during interactions.
Instead of dominating the conversation with talk about yourself, focus on the other person and their interests. Here are some ways to demonstrate your interest:
Maintain eye contact and face the person you are speaking with. Avoid crossing your arms or legs, which can signal defensiveness or disinterest. Practice active listening by genuinely trying to understand their point of view, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak. Paraphrase what they have said and ask questions to clarify.
Use the person’s name and ask about things that matter to them, like their hobbies or family. For example, “Hi, John! How’s your son doing in his soccer league?”
Offer a genuine compliment to let the person know you appreciate them. Instead of focusing on yourself, focus on something positive about them. For example, “I really admire your attention to detail on this project” or “You have a great sense of humor, it always makes me laugh.”
8. It’s possible that despite having frequent conflicts with people at work or home, you may not realize that you have an ego problem.
The ego can be described in various ways, but one of the most accurate descriptions is the part of you that seeks approval. To determine if your ego is influencing a particular situation, ask yourself two questions: “Do I feel superior to others?” and “Do I feel inferior to others?”
If you answered “yes” to either of these questions, your ego is likely the culprit. Feeling superior is commonly recognized as a sign of a big ego, but feeling inferior to others can also indicate an ego problem.
9. Recognize when you’re engaged in territorial disputes.
Individuals with a strong ego often struggle with others stepping into what they consider their domain. For instance, your best friend offers you some advice on how to improve your golf swing, or your manager, who spends most of their day sitting at a desk, tries to tell you how to perform your job better.
If you feel a surge of emotion in situations like these, your ego is likely at play. You may become upset when someone offers suggestions (2) on a topic you think you know well, or you might reject offers of assistance. Additionally, if someone presents a good idea that competes with your own, you may dismiss it to protect your ideas from being overshadowed.
10. It’s not always easy to recognize when you have an inflated ego.
One sign that you might have a big ego is if you are easily offended by opposing views. This is because you might feel that you already have all the answers and any criticism or disagreement makes you question your own competence.
It can be difficult to notice if you are easily offended, but you can observe your interactions for a few days. Do people around you often apologize for upsetting you? Do you find yourself getting angry and needing to calm down frequently? If so, you might be dealing with an ego problem.
In summary, here are some tips on how to not have a big ego:
Learn to compromise by finding middle ground that mutually benefits everyone involved.
Welcome a difference in opinion and avoid getting upset when others have conflicting views.
Become interested in others by actively listening, using their name, and paying compliments.
Question yourself to determine if you feel superior or inferior to others.
Notice when you engage in turf wars and try to be open to suggestions from others.
Determine if you are easily offended by opposing views or criticisms and observe your interactions to identify the signs.
By following these tips, you can work to keep your ego in check and interact more effectively with others in your personal and professional life.