How To Get Over a Past Relationship: 12 Steps To Move On

This new article will show you everything you need to know about how to get over a past relationship.

Breaking up with a previous partner can be painful and emotional, regardless of who ended the relationship. However, in the midst of all these feelings, letting go of the past can help you grow, reconnect with yourself, and even open your heart to fresh and lasting love.

We’re posting a guide to help you recover and move on from past relationships. Looking for tips on how to move on after a relationship ends? Here’s how to start letting go.

How To Get Over a Past Relationship:

1. Give yourself time to digest any emotions from the past.

Try to name your feelings as they arise, whether by writing or simply expressing them out loud. Even crying or screaming is acceptable. We guarantee you won’t always feel this way. In the meantime, acknowledging your feelings without judgment can allow you to move toward a healthy lifestyle.

What you believe is true and justified. The feelings of loss and rejection that often accompany a breakup stimulate the same area of the brain as physical pain, but remember that this suffering is only temporary.

2. Romanticizing your ex-partner can make it difficult to move on from them.

It’s perfectly natural to prioritize your imagined future with your ex over the reality of the relationship. Think of all the fantastic times you’ve spent with your beloved. At the same time, remember your ex-partner’s weaknesses, as well as all the conflicts, misunderstandings, and problems associated with him.

When past relationships are compared to current ones, it becomes easier to judge possible new partners. By reminding yourself why you and your ex split up, you can open yourself up to new people and opportunities.

3. It is difficult to recover from a breakup if you are confused or feel resentful about the breakup.

It is perfectly acceptable to hold on to unpleasant feelings after a breakup, whether you saw it coming or were taken by surprise. Here are some important steps to take to let go of your anger and get on with your life:

Instead of blaming yourself or your partner, think about the bigger factors that may have contributed to the breakup (e.g., wounds inflicted in past relationships, mental health, finances, stage of life, etc.).

Take control of your narrative. Try to see the circumstances of the breakup as they are, and focus on a bright future filled with love.

Practice gratitude. Think about the wonderful relationships and opportunities you have in your life right now.

4. Forgiveness makes it easier to let go of unpleasant feelings.

Reflecting on the past is natural, but it is better to commit to changing your thinking habits at some point. Acknowledge your partner’s responsibility for your past pain, as well as for any harm you have done to him or her. Then, although it may be difficult, try to forgive both your former partner and yourself.

Instead of focusing on what you would like to change about the past, use forgiveness as a turning point to focus on yourself and what you need in the future.

You don’t have to contact your partner to forgive them. Forgiveness can be a personal journey as well as an attitude shift.

SEE ALSO: How To Speak Up With Confidence: 17 Effective Strategies

5. It is difficult to let go when you are faced with reminders of a previous relationship.

Try not to contact your ex, either in person or through social media. You can dismiss him or her, disable his or her phone number, and delete old photos. It may also be beneficial to delete relationship mementos, such as gifts and old photos. If your ex contacts you, tell him or her that you need time and space to deal with it.

Similarly, if you want to move on and create a stronger, more stable relationship, avoid physical intimacy with your ex.

6. Social support can help you get through difficult times.

It’s natural to feel lonely as you try to move on with your life, but you’re not alone. Try to make personal contact with friends and family to express your feelings. Call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. You can also meet new friends and make connections by signing up for new activities.

There’s nothing wrong with reaching out to others if you don’t find it easy. Joining a local or online social group can provide you with an extended support network.

7. Establish healthy habits to take care of yourself and your body.

Healthy habits can provide stability after a previous relationship ends, even if much of your life seems to have changed (1). Start by establishing a daily sleep and wakefulness schedule. Then reinforce healthy behaviors by committing to 30 minutes of exercise every day, eating nutritious meals and keeping your personal cleanliness in mind.

Treat yourself to a massage, a day at the spa, or simply an evening spent with delicious snacks and your favorite movie.

8. As you move on from the past, several opportunities for improvement will arise.

Perhaps you’ve always wanted to try Brazilian jiu-jitsu (2) or enroll in a dance class. Perhaps you’ve fantasized about visiting Barcelona or getting hired at a new job. Use this time to rediscover your thoughts and feelings about yourself and your talents.

Make a list of all the things you want to do. Each day, try to tick off one thing on that list.

SEE ALSO: How To Be In Control Of Your Emotions: 28 Top Strategies

9. Use this opportunity to find out what you want and need from future partnerships.

Despite the pain, your past can have a significant and good impact on your future. Is there anything you would do differently in the future? Write out some goals or methods for your future relationship. Here is a set of reflection questions to get you started:

  • What role have you played in past disputes in the relationship?
  • Do you see any patterns in your past relationships or partner selection?
  • How do you handle stress and conflict in relationships?
  • What qualities do you expect in a potential partner? What qualities would you like to avoid?

10. Recognize your inner critic and replace it with positive, optimistic comments.

Watch out for concepts that use absolutes such as “never” and “always.” Likewise, watch out for self-blaming remarks that include terms like “should” or “must.” Make sure you talk to yourself in the same way you would talk to a friend or loved one. When negative thoughts come to your mind, turn them into positive comments.

Turn a negative comment into a mantra, such as: “I deserve love and to meet someone amazing.”

Appreciate that you are trying, even if you are not flawless (none of us are). For example, “This relationship didn’t work out, but I gave it my all.”

If you make a mistake, replace the words blaming yourself with something like: “I messed up a little, but that doesn’t mean I’m a terrible person or a lousy partner.”

11. Don’t rush into healing or new relationships.

It can be tempting to get into a new relationship, but take time to process your feelings and reconnect with yourself before dating again. By focusing on what makes you happy and rediscovering elements of yourself that you may have lost in the past, you can build more genuine relationships in the future.

There is no set time limit for starting a new relationship.

The longer you have been together and the more involved you are in each other’s lives (e.g., living together, having children together), the more time you need before you fall in love again.

When you know what you want from a relationship and what you can provide in it, you’ll know you’re ready to be a committed partner again.

12. There is more than one person for you.

Even if it doesn’t seem possible to you now, you will meet someone and fall in love again. Your future relationship may not be exactly who you expected or meet all your expectations. To keep an open mind, try to identify the three qualities that are most important to you in a potential partner.

These three qualities can be about personality, appearance, or anything else. For example, you may be looking for a future companion who is involved in community service, sports, and religion.

According to research, you may be able to maintain a good, meaningful relationship even if you haven’t completely reconciled your feelings about your previous partner.

In fact, finding a new relationship after working on yourself may help you move on.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about how to get over a past relationship. I sincerely hope its contents have been a good help to you.

Przemkas Mosky
Przemkas Mosky started Perfect 24 Hours in 2017. He is a Personal Productivity Specialist, blogger and entrepreneur. He also works as a coach assisting people to increase their motivation, social skills or leadership abilities. Read more here