This new article will show you everything you need to know about how to express anger in relationship.
Getting angry in a relationship is perfectly acceptable and even good, even if it’s not pleasant. Conflicts arise when you spend a lot of time with someone, no matter how in love or happy you are.
There are many ways to express anger, some of which are better than others. You should be fine as long as you give yourself time to process your feelings, use “I” statements so as not to push your partner onto the defensive, and act in good faith and with understanding.
Keep reading to learn how to give vent to your anger while maintaining a healthy and lasting relationship.
How To Express Anger In Relationship:
1. Give yourself some time to relax.
It’s easy to get upset in a flurry of emotions. Take a few deep breaths. Take a walk around the house. Watch an episode of a funny TV show or meditate. Regain control of your thoughts so you don’t get caught up in anger.
By taking a calmer approach, you can figure out what’s really bothering you and the most polite way to deal with it.
2. Before you share your emotions, “clarify” them.
Before you turn to your partner, think about why you are angry. To better understand your emotions, write down in a notebook why you are unhappy. Review your writing for indicators or factors that may have triggered you. To better understand what made you angry, consider confiding in a trusted friend or family member.
It is easier to have a clear mind when you process your emotions first. You will be able to more accurately identify what is bothering you.
You may also notice that anger is hiding another emotion, such as hurt or rejection. If this is the case, talk to your partner about it.
External factors, such as hunger, fatigue, or discomfort, can sometimes influence feelings of rage.
3. Say exactly what you are thinking about.
Express your thoughts directly and respectfully. Confronting someone is scary, but it gives the other person an opportunity to understand your point of view and perhaps help you. Teach your loved one exactly how you feel. Avoid being passive-aggressive or waiting for him or her to figure out your distress on their own.
Start the conversation with something like, “I just wanted to let you know that what you said the other day really upset me.”
Continue to give details, such as how those comments affected you. Perhaps your partner was making fun of you, but what they said hurt them. For example, “I know you were joking, but what you said made me feel offended.”
The goal is to speak in a confident manner, not an angry one.
Try to deal with the issue as soon as it comes up. This may keep the rage from escalating.
4. Confront your partner using “I” words.
This allows you to express yourself without blaming others. Your partner may have made a mistake, but if you emphasize how their behavior has affected you, they will understand. For example, “I am a very sensitive person, so when you spoke to me in that tone, I felt hurt and saddened.”
Try to maintain a cold, calm, and composed attitude even though you are tempted to lash out or humiliate the other person. This will help you communicate your position more effectively and reduce the likelihood that conflict will damage your relationship.
5. Speak in a soothing, empathetic tone.
Sarcasm and yelling can be very hurtful to your partner’s emotions. Use a calm tone of voice (1), even if you are angry, so the other person can understand what you mean without getting defensive or hurt. If you tend to yell at your partner, get a grip and politely explain your emotions. This is hard work, but it will get you and your partner through the argument with love and respect intact.
Try to start the discussion with a sense of vulnerability—your partner may be more willing to open up if they feel safe.
6. Pay attention to your partner’s perspective.
Allow the other person to express their point of view. Once you have expressed your point of view, ask your partner what he or she thinks about it.
Let him or her speak and pay attention to him or her. Maintain eye contact with him or her and do not interrupt. Remember that in a relationship, you need to give as well as receive. Be sure to listen to the other party’s views, even if they differ, in order to work out a solution.
Discussing your partner’s point of view can help bring you closer to a common understanding. Perhaps your anger is due to a misunderstanding, or perhaps your partner has made a mistake that you would like to correct.
7. Understand their point of view.
You can be empathetic and angry at the same time. Yes, your partner may have made a mistake when they jumped on you. That’s not an excuse, but understanding what made him or her behave that way can make you feel better. Perhaps the other person has had a difficult day or is stressed after work. Understanding why they behave the way they do can help you take their actions less personally.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t express your anger; it’s still justified.
8. Work together to reach an agreement.
Choose the best method to resolve the anger. It is difficult to work out an agreement, especially when you are angry, but it is necessary for the relationship to survive. Work together to find a win-win solution, such as agreeing to consult each other before making important plans or taking action.
9. If your conversation turns into an argument, take a break.
If necessary, stop the argument in its tracks (2). Take some time to relax and get away from it all. Return to the discussion when you are sure you can express yourself in a healthy way.
Use phrases such as: “Right now I need some space to relax.” Can we take a break and come back to this later? “
10. If you are having problems, see a therapist.
It’s a good idea to get outside help if you need it. A therapist or counselor can help you find appropriate ways to vent your anger. You can search online for a mental health professional in your area or ask your doctor for a recommendation. If anger is affecting your relationship or quality of life, going to therapy is a brave and important step toward healing it.
Anger problems can be a symptom of mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or chronic stress.
Lessons in anger management can also be beneficial.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about how to express anger in relationship. I sincerely hope its contents have been a good help to you.