In this new article you’ll learn how to stop expecting so much from others.
Human interactions are extremely difficult to understand. When we begin a relationship in any aspect of our lives, we often expect perfection. You may become irritated if others do not meet your expectations.
If the people in your life often disappoint you, it is possible that you are not setting clear expectations at the right time. Try to communicate your expectations to others and create reasonable goals for yourself.
A more balanced life can be achieved by focusing on self-awareness and acceptance rather than perfection.
How To Stop Expecting So Much From Others:
1. Know who you are working with.
Expectations are sometimes formulated for a spouse, partner, or child. However, if you are a responsible person, you will almost certainly need to set standards for multiple people.
When setting goals for specific situations, be sure to consider each person’s personality, work habits, interests, and passions. If you know the person, you will be better able to set reasonable expectations. Ask about the person:
- What aspects of your job annoy you?
- What aspects of your job give you the most energy?
- What are your professional goals?
- How do your professional and personal goals align with our expectations?
- How can I help you achieve your various goals in a planned and effective way?
2. Be specific and open about what you expect from employees.
Make sure contracts clearly define the employee’s responsibilities and their unique position in the company. Employees should be informed of their employment responsibilities. The person’s role, responsibilities, and goals should be outlined.
Before making a proposal, check to see if it is feasible. Consider whether you see your employee being able to accomplish what you expect. If the person has done the task before, your request is most likely feasible. If the task is new, consider whether the employee can complete it in the time and resources available.
If possible, help simplify the process. For example, if you want an employee to write a critical report, provide a quiet workspace where they can complete it.
3. Establish a timeline for accomplishing your goals and objectives.
Clarify your expectations while being flexible with the time frame. Set a schedule that works for both of you. If you can, provide your own assistance as well.
Meet regularly with your employees to set goals. Divide projects into smaller parts, each with its own set of goals.
4. Keep in touch with people.
Have frequent meetings to review progress. Talk openly with people who don’t meet your expectations. No one can read your mind.
In some cases, your expectations may be unrealistic. In other cases, you may not have communicated your expectations in the right way. In any case, it’s a good idea to check in often to see what your employees’ expectations are.
5. Recognize that expectations may overlap.
For example, you may have high expectations for yourself. Perhaps you work long hours or are a supermom who does everything but sleep.
Just because you set these kinds of goals for yourself doesn’t mean you should expect others to do the same. Try to differentiate between your expectations of someone and how that person performs the tasks assigned to them.
6. Instead of striving for perfection, practice acceptance.
If you are a perfectionist, you probably demand perfection from others as well. This can be very damaging to your professional and personal relationships.
Try to practice acceptance (1). When someone (including yourself) makes a mistake, remember that it is human to make mistakes. Accepting that no one is perfect, including yourself, can help you be more realistic in your endeavors. Your employees will also enjoy the fact that you are a more understanding employer.
Acceptance has its limits. Having a serious conversation with an employee who frequently fails to live up to his or her commitments is quite acceptable.
7. Be straightforward about your expectations.
If you need or want your spouse or loved one to do something, state it politely and directly. Vague or confusing phrasing of the matter sets you up for disappointment and may irritate the other person.
If you have a really important request, ask for a face-to-face meeting. This will avoid possible misunderstandings that can arise when making requests.
If you want your spouse to do something (such as drive the kids to school), say it directly. Don’t propose anything by saying, “Driving the kids to school before work is very difficult for me.” Do you work from home? ” Say rather: “Could you, Mike, drive the kids to school? It would make my commute to work much easier.
Remember, until you are in charge, you are not in a position to tell someone (especially your spouse) what to do. Rather, say, “I’d like you to clean out the garage before Thanksgiving.” What steps can we take to make this happen? Let’s look at the weekends we have in. “
8. Creating a routine of expectations:
When setting expectations for children, it is often important to create a routine. Listing specific chores on a weekly schedule for specific days can help your child remember to do them. Consider creating a checklist where children can cross off specific activities.
Instead of telling your child to take out the trash by himself, you can say, “Hello, Alan.” Every Friday morning before school, I ask you to take out the trash. “
9. Introduce motivational incentives.
Offering young people small rewards and accountability mechanisms can help them meet expectations. Offer a small incentive after your child completes a certain number of tasks. You can also praise your spouse for regularly keeping promises.
For example, you can host a movie night to reward your child for successfully completing their monthly chores.
10. Find out what your loved ones are expecting from you.
What do other people expect from you, even though you are used to getting things from others? Talking about expectations with your spouse, children, or friends will help you become a better person. Knowing what expectations others have of us can help you figure out what is typical for you.
On the other hand, if others have unreasonable expectations of us, such as that we babysit our grandchildren every weekend, you should be open about your own limitations.
11. Appreciate what others do for you.
It’s understandable that others don’t always meet your expectations, but what exactly do they do well? Make a note of what your spouse, employee, or child does well.
It is possible that a nice trait of your spouse is combined with a bad one. For example, your partner may be generous with his or her time but does not always get things done on time. Consider someone’s actions as a reflection of their distinct personality.
12. Identify what motivates you to achieve your goals.
As you think about the goals you want to achieve, whether short-term or long-term, try to get to the source of those goals. Self-esteem is higher in people who set reasonable goals and expectations. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
- What is the source of my ambition? When did it start to form?
- What motivates me to attain my goal?
- Am I motivated by my own desires or by the desires of others (e.g., spouse, father, teacher)?
- Based on my personality and past experiences, can I achieve this goal?
- What is the point of achieving this goal?
13. Identify what’s most important.
What things are most important to you? Maybe it is a job, or maybe it is a relationship. Focus on the top three things that are important in your life and give them your time and attention. If you have the time and energy, gradually increase the number of activities you do.
Try to keep a good balance.
For example, you can list family, career, and sports as your top three priorities. Carve out time once a week for great time with your family. Make sure you get the right amount of sleep so you can do your job well. On training days, make sure all the important things are taken care of.
14. Set attainable goals.
Remember that when you set goals or want to change something about yourself, it will not happen immediately.
Instead, as you work toward a larger goal, try to create smaller ones. Also remember that achieving a goal will almost certainly have some consequences, but it won’t necessarily affect your entire life.
For example, if you want to lose weight, start with the health benefits of losing weight. Don’t expect it to improve your personal relationships or overall happiness.
Instead of declaring, “I will lose ten pounds this year,” try saying, “I will lose one pound a week for one month.” At the end of that period, re-evaluate your circumstances and set a new micro-goal.
If your goal is to get into college, set smaller goals and objectives (2), such as enrolling in additional courses. Then focus on achieving good academic results. At some point, add the goal of passing a key exam. Then you can add activities such as writing essays, collecting letters of recommendation, getting transcripts, etc.
Thank you for reading this article about how to stop expecting so much from others and I really hope that you take action my advice.
I wish you good luck and I hope its contents have been a good help to you.