Want to know how to develop charisma? Most of us have probably met a person in our lives who attracts other people like a magnet. Whenever such a person appears, she arouses interest and is in the centre of attention. Some people seem to have a natural charisma that makes them successful, especially in social situations.
On the other hand, many people lack charismatic qualities. Although they are intelligent and knowledgeable, they have difficulties in dealing with others, it is difficult for them to establish and build relationships and communicate effectively.
If you are currently lacking in charisma or want to strengthen it, there are several ways to do it.
What is charisma?
Starting from the definition, charisma is a set of character traits that make a person unique in the society. The term charisma is derived from theology. This is how people who were gifted with the “gift of God” were defined.
People with charisma can make you admire them, respect them, take their opinion into account. In the presence of someone endowed with charisma, you feel good about being with it. If this person asks you to do something, you will probably agree. Sometimes you even want to imitate their behavior and way of life.
How To Develop Charisma
1. Proper posture
One simple way to make yourself more charismatic for the people around you is to maintain an appropriate posture. Try to be straight and avoid slouching.
A hunchbacked posture suggests that you are a fearful, insecure, shy person with lower self-esteem. A simple silhouette is a sign of self-confidence, vitality, energy and discipline in body language.
Especially when you are sitting, sit up straight so that you seem taller. Contrary to appearances, this is very important. There are even studies that show that people with higher growth are more likely to be employed and paid more than people with lower growth.
No matter how tall you are, you can always straighten up to optically lengthen your figure. Don’t lean your head down and keep it high. Don’t lean on your elbows, sit straight with your hands on the sides or in front of you. Straight back influences our image and mood.
The right attitude works both ways, thanks to it you feel more confident and have more courage to act, on the other hand you are more charismatic and people will be more willing to talk to you and establish relationships.
2. Enjoy touch and physical contact
One of the skills of charismatic people is to know when to use touch and physical contact with another person. Many people avoid physical contact and often do not know how to do it properly.
Touch can be your strong ally in strengthening your charisma. However, it should be used skillfully. Not everyone likes to be touched. Some of us do not tolerate entering their intimate space if the person is not in a very close and intimate relationship with us.
It is worth to cross the barrier of physical contact with another person in order to build a bond with her, but you have to do it skillfully.
The simplest form of touch is a handshake. A strong handshake indicates a high level of energy, openness to new experiences and lack of shyness. A weak shake of a soft hand during its application is perceived as a manifestation of uncertainty, shyness and lack of interest.
There are other gestures: cuddling, hugging, high-fives, patting on the back. With the help of touch you can give praise, support someone, give recognition and comfort.
Remember that imposing closeness on another individual can be treated as an abuse, especially in business relationships. For some people, hugging someone who is not a family member or a life partner can be awkward. When you are not sure if you can afford to touch, just ask and get the other person’s consent.
If you want to lead and be more charismatic, you need to learn to touch people.
3. Recognize non-verbal signals
People very often don’t talk directly about their emotions and how they really feel. Even when you ask them about it, they will tell you that everything is fine, even though they feel completely different in their hearts, souls and minds. But just because they don’t say it out loud, it doesn’t mean they don’t show any other clues.
In order to be a more charismatic person, you should master the art of interpreting the so-called “body language”. Body language usually includes such non-verbal messages as: gestures and movements of the body, facial expressions, posture and direction of the body, movements of eyes and pupils.
It is often possible to say how a person feels based on her facial expressions, the way she behaves and moves. Non-verbal signals can say a lot about someone’s intentions and emotions.
Body language, gestures and behaviours are very useful in private and professional life. Its mastery makes it easier to conduct conversations, negotiations, meetings and we can use it to more effectively exert a positive influence on others.
Of course, when trying to read body language and non-verbal messages, one should bear in mind that the context and habits of a person are important. There is no 100% certainty that we have read the emotions well, but developing better body language recognition can be very useful.
Sometimes we associate charismatic people with the fact that they always know what to say and tell interesting stories. They can make others laugh and cause a smile. It often results from the fact that these people “read” other people very well and thanks to that they know what to say in a given situation and what to say in silence.
It is worthwhile to learn the secrets of non-verbal communication in order to be more charismatic.
4. Use humour and smile
One of the characteristics of charismatic people (1) is their ability to put others in a good mood. This allows you to skillfully use jokes and humour and make others smile on their faces. Charismatic people also like to smile on their own, because it makes them feel positive, open and friendly.
Telling anecdotes and cheerful stories can be very useful in building your image and good relations. However, you need a good feeling for it. Making jokes without thinking can have a completely opposite effect and alienate our interlocutors.
The right moment and context to tell a joke is very important. Saying a joke at an inappropriate time can be misinterpreted. Here again it is useful to read the body language and emotions of others, as this makes it easier to feel a good moment for humour.
Smile helps and can be contagious. People feel better in the company of positive people, with a sense of humour than sad gloomy people with negative attitude.
5. Ask questions skillfully
Skillfully asking the right questions is a very useful competence. Our thinking is based on asking questions and finding answers.
Charisma may not seem to have much to do with asking questions, but in reality, people who know how to ask good questions to their interlocutors are able to make better contact with other people. A question is also a great and simple way to keep the conversation going.
Many people like to talk about themselves and their interests. Charismatic people know about it, so they don’t talk about themselves, they let their interlocutors talk about it. They particularly often use open-ended questions, to which a simple “yes” or “no” answer is not enough, which allows the interlocutor to share their thoughts.
When you talk, you don’t learn anything. When you ask questions and listen carefully, you get relevant information about the other person. You discover common areas of interest with your interlocutor and find new topics for common conversations.
Asking the right questions is a skill you should train to improve your charisma and build good relationships.
6. Listen actively
When we have a conversation and use questions, we should also learn the art of active listening. Questions are important, but we should listen carefully to understand the answers. The ability to listen actively is crucial for a charismatic person and should be developed by all of us.
It is not enough to use the sense of hearing and to hear the sounds coming out. You need to learn to listen, to focus attention on your interlocutor and to react actively to what you are saying.
Charismatic people can be vividly interested in each other’s words. They actively listen to what they can do to create relationships based on mutual respect, trust and empathy.
There are a few rules that allow you to tune in better and listen actively. A few of them are to behave in the right way and turn to the interlocutor, maintain eye contact, keep on interrupting, ask questions, paraphrase, show interest, and encourage others to continue speaking.
Active listening is not easy. However, it is worthwhile to make an effort and develop this skill.
7. Remember names
This little tip can give you many benefits. It is often the case that when you meet someone, even though they have introduced themselves, you forget their name. If you are approached by someone to whom you should introduce your interlocutor, you suddenly realize that you don’t remember their name.
When there is only one person, of course, it is easier to remember their name, more difficult when we have a meeting, for example, there are several people and each person says their name.
Charismatic people have their own ways of doing this and realize that remembering someone’s name and using it later is a great way to signal to your interlocutor that they are important to you.
Thanks to this, the person feels better in our company. We are usually very attached to our name, no wonder we hear it and have been using it since childhood.
There are some ways to better remember someone’s name. It is worthwhile to use associations. When you meet a new person, it is worthwhile to combine their name with something you know. It may even be a random word. Then, seeing this person we will recall in our memory also this word and in this way we will remember someone’s name.
It works especially well if this association is related to what we know about this person. If we know that Catherine likes to work in the garden, we can use the word “garden”. To better remember, we can also repeat someone’s name when they introduce themselves to us.
You’ll be surprised how much more charismatic you’ll be if you consistently remember people’s names.
8. Use gestures
Charismatic persons are able to use gestures (2), thanks to which they are able to strengthen their verbal message. It is not about waving your hands, but about enriching your speech with gestures that will make people more engrossed in what you say.
Hands play a very important role in communication. They can be used to indicate directions, sizes and shapes, as well as to simply express emotions.
We perceive hand gestures subconsciously and do not even wonder why we feel more comfortable and secure when the interlocutor’s hands are not hidden and the inside of the hands is facing upwards.
Use gestures in a thoughtful and natural way, so you can build your credibility and image of a dynamic person.
9. Get rid of unnecessary interference and language errors
Sometimes in a conversation we use unnecessary interjections of “eee”, “uh”, “umm” or other phrases, which we often repeat, in our statements. Especially when we have a longer speech, we try to fill it in this way and avoid silence.
Using a pause in speech is not bad and can also have a positive effect on the power of the message. These phrases can also be caused by nervousness and stress. Sometimes better breath control or speaking more slowly can help you avoid such additions.
Also remember that you don’t always have to answer immediately if someone asks you a question. Instead of starting with “uh”, give yourself a moment to think about the answer.
If you want to be better received you should work to remove unnecessary interruptions from your speech and speak clearly, understandably and grammatically correctly.
To find out if you have a problem with this, record a public performance and count how many such “interrupts” occurred in your speech and how many language mistakes you made. If you find out that you have a problem, work on solving it.
A sign of self-confidence and charisma is the ability to make long speeches without using such phrases. Charismatic people speak clearly with conviction, the words they say are thought out in such a way that their message is received positively and perceived as trustworthy and credible.
10. Take care of your appearance
When we meet someone for the first time often first of all we pay attention to their appearance and clothing. Charismatic people often through their costumes can strengthen the effect in which they are perceived. They give the impression that they are doing well in life.
Thanks to proper dress and behavior you can appear as a charismatic person. Attire is one of the easiest elements to change when it comes to building and improving your image and strengthening your charisma.
The way you behave and the way you look is what people think about you. Charismatic people are self-confident and consider themselves valuable people. They are able to present themselves well and attract attention. They bravely formulate their opinions, are open and can communicate with almost everyone.
Charisma consists of many character traits and skills. Work to be a more charismatic person. This will allow you not only to convince more effectively to your reasons, but also to feel better and more confident.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about how to develop charisma. I sincerely hope its contents have been a good help to you.