Want to know how to build self worth? Then you’re in the right place.
Self-confidence is an important key to success in any walk of life. People with self-confidence are noticed more. They achieve their goals relatively easily. In contrast, people who lack self-confidence often end up being losers. You too need to build your self-confidence if you want to do well in life. In this article there are simple tips that can help you build that elusive self-confidence.
The way you feel about yourself, how you see yourself and believe others see you, is a key issue in how you live your life. It is the foundation upon which you build your successes and the shaky ground on which your failures occur. Self-confidence is found in people who have a healthy self-esteem. They know their personal worth, and act accordingly.
By developing your self-confidence and belief in your own innate abilities you will be enable to recognise and take advantage of more of the opportunities that are presented to you but until now have gone unnoticed. You will also have the strength and inner belief that is essential in overcoming the inevitable pitfalls and obstacles that life throws at you.
There are many posts on the subject of self-confidence, but remember, you must take action to succeed. Your thoughts will not change simple by reading an article or other guide. You must apply what you learn to your everyday affairs. Allow what you read to awaken the possibility of change within you, then take action.
Small steps lead to more steps. Pat yourself on the back every time you make a small success. Every step counts. Take one step at a time in a positive direction; soon you will be able to see the results.
Try to practice the tips given as faithfully as you can, and see the difference in your life.
How To Build Self Worth:
1. Don’t be afraid of failures.
Take them in your stride and move on. Say to yourself that you will succeed the next time. Never make the mistake of allowing your failures to overwhelm you. Everybody will have to deal with managing the failure of failure at some points during their lifetime. Some are so afraid of failing or not making it that they become very anxious. It can force you into a shell, and destroy your self-confidence.
A better way is to shrug your failures as something inconsequential, and take on a new challenge. Of course, you must learn from your mistakes, and be realistic about your abilities. People who try to over-reach often fall down. You should not allow that to happen in the name of self-confidence.
As best you can, stop berating and judging yourself harshly. There are numerous people in the world that will jump at the chance to do that for you. Be gentle with yourself and recognise that your mistakes are merely learning opportunities. Keep in mind that your words have power. They direct your thinking.
When you speak in a certain way you begin to formulate ideas and beliefs that are in harmony with the words you are using. These beliefs in turn have a major impact on the action you take and the way you conduct yourself throughout your life. So choose words that uplift you, encourage you and strengthen you and go easy on yourself when you make a mistake. Recognise what you have to learn from it and move on.
It is best to have at least have tried than not to try at all. Do you want to go through the rest of your life not knowing that you could of made it? At least if you try, you will know for sure if you would have made it. Another benefit of giving something a try is that you can learn from your mistakes.
If your first attempt doesn’t work out, then at least you know what went wrong. If you decide to do that task again you will know what to do which will increase your chance of success.
If you are afraid to fail at a certain task, then develop some kind of back up plan for you to rely on in case you do fail. For instance, let’s say that you are afraid that you will not pass a certain class in school. Develop a plan B for yourself in case you do not pass the class. This will reduce your stress and take the pressure of taking the test and passing. If you don’t make it, you have something to fall back on.
Ask yourself what is the worse that can happen. Think about it. What will you lose if you don’t make it the first or second time? Yes, there will be a set backs, but you had set backs before. It is more common than you think. Tell yourself that you will not succeed at everything in life and that will help reduce your anxieties.
Fear of failure can be a struggle for some people, however the worst part is not to at least try. You don’t want to go through life wondering whether you could have made it or not.
2. Cultivate Other Interests
Have a wide range of interests or hobbies, and take an active interest in what’s going on in the world. Meet and talk to a lot of people. Don’t focus all your attention only on your work and on your problems. Divert your attention to new interests, and new tasks.
Take part in activities that you are good at. You may have excelled at things in the past and then given them up due to lack of time. Return to those activities again and see your self-confidence grow.
Simply stepping outside your comfortable rut is a success and every new skill and every piece of new knowledge gained is a success. Perhaps the final project is not as successful as you hoped but don’t overlook the other gains you made from the experience. This builds confidence and gives you the courage to experience still more new things.
Each new experience can help you learn and grow as a person as well as give you the opportunity for more success. Maybe that pottery didn’t turn out as beautiful as you hoped but you did make new friends in the class or found a great way to relieve stress. And perhaps you learned enough from the experience so your next project will be successful. Always remember trying and failing still puts you ahead of the person who didn’t try at all.
3. Take a Risks In Life
No one gets ahead in life from playing it safe. You will not meet your special someone if you are too afraid to risk getting rejected by someone, you will never get that big promotion unless you take risks at your job.
It is very important to continue to take risks in life. Step out of your comfort zone. To stop taking risks means to stand still in life. Standing still in life is one of the main causes of depression. Usually they are the ones that allow life to pass them by out of fear.
The entire purpose of fear is to stop you from taking a risk. Fear is nothing more than the unknown. If you have always wanted to quit your job and open a shop but you are too afraid to do it, this is because you are afraid of failing and risking what you already have.
Do note however that there is a difference between calculated risk and gambling. One is to know and understand the situation that you are in, realizing that in order to achieve some success, you have to leave the protective womb of safety and go out on a limb. Gambling is just blindly hoping that the situation works out without any rhyme or reason. Don’t mix the two up.
It is important to learn to take risks in life if you want to be happy, you may not always get the things you risked for, but you will know that you tried, and in the end it does not matter in my opinion if you succeed or not it is how many risks you try to make that is the real test of how successful you are.
Just remember if no one took risks we would be a world without flight and probably no automotive vehicles at all, maybe we would have no electricity. So risk truly is needed to improve the world.
4. Deal With Criticism
There is nothing wrong with a little criticism. You just have to be able to decipher between the truths. Listen to the criticism and before you react to it, think about your strengths. That will give you positive input and make you ready to face the criticism squarely. Even if it is true that will give you the strength to face and do something about it other than an angry retort.
Otherwise we may begin feeling angry and sometimes worthless. Is the criticism true? Or it is misinterpretation of the facts? You may at times set aside your fears and emotions and look at the situation clearly. If need be ask the other person more details and their beliefs. Probably they believe something different than you. Once you talk to them and ask them about what can be done you will be on path to recovery rather than destruction.
Don’t be afraid to have self-criticisms. But make sure they are your own opinions and not someone else’s. If you do not like something about yourself then change it. Always look on improving one’s self. However sometimes our own criticisms are tainted. This goes back to being brainwashed. Others have fed us information over the years that might be tainted and have altered our thoughts over the years.
Since we were not trying to decipher between the truths, our thoughts have turned into a messy desk where you cannot find the paper you want. It is time to clean up the mess of criticism and restructure. This is the only way you will be able to change you habits and better your life.
Remove the person who is making criticism from picture and only look at the criticism. Remove yourself or anybody else. That way you will only be paying attention to the criticism and will have no biased view. Afterwards look at the criticism for truth. Is there any truth in this statement?
Think logically and let no emotion enter the thoughts. With logic you will be able to analyze the situation clearly. If the criticism is wrong you will conclude that it is wrong and not true and vice versa. If you were to think about this any other way you would have reached a wrong conclusion.
5. Be Aware of Self-Judgement
Are you aware of your self-judgments? Are you aware of how often you judge yourself as bad, wrong, or inadequate? Are you aware of how you end up feeling as a result of your self-judgments?
I often find that self-judgment is one of the major causes of fear, anger, anxiety and depression. Yet most people don’t realize that these painful feelings are the result of their own thoughts, their own self-judgments (1). Most of the time, when I ask an anxious friend why they are feeling anxious, they tell me that it’s because of something that happened to them.
They usually believe that an event or a person caused their anxiety. Yet when I ask them what they are thinking that might be causing their anxiety, they will tell me a self-judgment such as, “I’ll never get this right,” or they are projecting their own judgment onto me and telling themselves, “My friends doesn’t like me,” or “My colleague is getting impatient with me.”
When they judge themselves or make up that I’m judging them, they get anxious. There is nothing actually happening that is causing their anxiety, other than their own thoughts.
Pointing out that they are the cause behind their anxiety does not necessarily stop the judgment. This is because self-judgment is often an addiction. An addiction is a habitual behaviour that is intended to protect against pain. What is the pain that self-judgment is intended to protect against?
Generally, the hope of self-judgment is to protect against rejection and failure. The false beliefs are that, “If I judge myself, then others won’t judge me and reject me. I can be safe from others’ judgment by judging myself first,” or “If I judge myself, I can motivate myself to do things right and succeed. Then I will feel safe and be loved and accepted by others.”
The way out of this is to become aware of the feelings of fear, anxiety, anger or depression and then ask, “What did I just tell myself that is creating this feeling?” Once you become aware of the self-judgment, you can then ask yourself, “Am I certain that what I am telling myself is true?”
If you are not 100% certain that what you are telling yourself is true, you can ask your higher, wise self or a spiritual source of wisdom, “What is the truth?” If you are really open to learning about the truth, the truth will pop into your mind, and it will be much different than what you have been telling yourself.
Addictions are always challenging to resolve, and an addiction to self-judgment is no exception. So be easy on yourself, and don’t judge yourself for judging yourself! It will take time and dedication to become aware of your self-judgments and learn to be kind toward yourself, but the end result is so worth the effort!
6. Have Strong Self-Motivation
Keeping one’s self-going is a difficult thing to do. There are a million distractions that occur every day and that can mean that we do not stay on track with what we should be doing. Self-motivation is something that does not come easy to a lot of people and that means that there are some steps that need to be taken before you can become motivated to the fullest extent.
Of course there are some other matters that first need to be taken care of. If there are a lot of distractions that keep you from doing what you need to be doing then you need to make some changes. This is an important step towards taking the necessary actions to increase your self-confident.
To be self-motivated means that there is no outside force or person pushing you to become what you want. The whole concept of succeeding lies within yourself and that means that you will need to make the effort yourself to be who you want to be. The doing away with the distractions means that you need to be completely self-reliant.
If you have many distractions then you will not be getting the things done that need to be so you are not being self-motivated in that sense. Take the effort to make sure that you are completely absorbed in what you are doing, especially when it comes to work. This will mean that everything else takes a back seat and you are working to the best of your ability.
If you are a person that needs a push to get going on something then you will need to devise a plan to become self-motivated. If you are one that requires the motivation then you will need to be sure to have something nearby that reminds you of what you need to be doing.
For instance, a photograph depicting an event will be sure to move you along whenever you look at it. The same goes for a saying by a famous person that has succeeded in the way that you wish to succeed.
To be self-motivated is to be the one person that gets it done without having to be told to do so. Moving along through the ranks and being the one person that succeeds where others fail is above all the rest. Take the time to become self-motivated and you will be much happier with yourself to say the least.
7. Learn Public Speaking Skills
People are attracted to the person up on the podium speaking to hundreds of people, whether he’s a preacher, a politician, or a professor. Even for a simple office presentation. He/she is the one wielding control over the room and captivating the multitudes. True charisma is the ability to seduce thousands, or even just one person.
You do not need to be witty and brilliant to be able to speak well. What is important in speaking in public is that you give your listeners something that is worth their time. When people leave with an impression or a sense of value after talking to you. They would consider listening and talking with you as something that was worth their time, especially in business.
To capture their attention first you may want to put in as many facts and information as you can. But only emphasize three or four main points. You could even talk about one main point if you want. You should remember that what your listeners want from you is that you give them two or three key main points that they can understand and would make a lot of difference to them. If you are able to structure the talks that you have, lots of complexity will be removed.
While there are many other public speaking styles, humility and humour are some of the devices that you could use to make your speech livelier and entertaining to your listeners. Just make sure that you are comfortable being humorous and that the humour is appropriate for the occasion.
If you do not feel comfortable giving jokes, then you might as well not use jokes, which might fall flat on your nose.
Humility in public speaking means standing before the others and sharing with them your own mistakes, your human frailties, and weaknesses. If you show to other people that you are not afraid or ashamed admitting such things, you create a relaxed and intimate environment that will permit them to open up to you too.
Being humble in public also makes you more believable, more credible, and more respected, with your listeners relating to you easier. You are no longer the remote expert who is ahead of them, but is one of them.
8. Be Prepared For Everything
Planning in advance, preparing and pre-empt what lays ahead will help minimise risks and poor performance. Do your homework and research to find out as much information as you can about your project or work in advance. This will not only help to manage your stress level, it will also make things seem more manageable.
Practice by trying to envision what is the end result of what you are trying to obtain. Play through all the possible scenarios mentally and role-plays if possible to make it as realistic as possible. The vibes that you give out and how you feel will subconsciously help direct you towards your desired results. List down all the information and make it into bite size notes that you can carry around easily if you are nervous.
Have a clear and realistic expectation of what you are aiming to achieve. Always keep your agenda in mind and maintain your focus (2). Always be on time and if possible earlier to mentally prepare yourself for what is ahead. Although you can’t be prepared for every single thing, so acceptance is another key component in this.
Expect the unexpected and prepare your response for this both externally and internally. Keep a cool and level demeanour at all time is an old trick used by many professionals in times of damage control. Panicking will only create more chaos and mistakes. This will get easier over time as you practise and gain experience. Soon it will be a flow to prepare for whatever it is ahead and it will show in your end results.
9. Recognise Your Potential
Many people struggle each and every day with a sense that they will never live up to their full and true potential. And unfortunately, many of those individuals will never overcome the personal mental barriers and fears that prevent them from accomplishing their life’s purpose.
However the potential for change is the same for everyone. It only takes acceptance of the idea that change is possible coupled with the determination to follow through. It’s not always easy to control our thoughts, but certainly not impossible, and the rewards can last a lifetime.
Stop saying “I can’t”, instead embrace the word “try” and “yes”. We all have choices in whatever situation we are in and it is our choices that will define us and lead us to where we would like to go.
Change will happen, like it or not. At one point or another, you’re going to experience different turning points in your life. And you’re going to eventually unleash your potential for personal development — not because the world says so, not because your friends nag you, but because you realize it’s for your own good.
Confident people don’t just accept change, they will embrace it. You don’t have to feel tremendous pressure before realizing the need for self-improvement. Unleashing your potential means freeing yourself from the cage of thought that “it’s just the way I am.” Such a poor excuse for people only feeds fear and resistance to change.