Today you’re going to learn how to remove worry from your life. We all have things to worry about. It is a natural part of life. But when you worry about the small things, it takes away from your enjoyment of the big things.
Worrying about everything can cause depression and anxiety. You may have difficulty concentrating, and it can affect your job, family and general well being. It is important to learn how to stop worrying excessively so that you can enjoy life to the fullest.
When you stop worrying about the wrong things you feel free. It allows you to focus on solutions to the big problems in life. Instead of being debilitated by fear, you will be able to function on a higher level.
I will provide you with steps and techniques that will help you end your worrying once and for all. If you follow these strategies, you will gradually let go of your worry and live a better life.
How To Remove Worry From Your Life:
It’s okay to worry sometimes. But you have to worry about the right things. There are a lot of things that cause people worry, when in reality these things should just be let go. Most of the time the little things that are not worth worrying about are also not worth the time it takes for you to think about it at all.
Learning to let go of these things will greatly decrease the amount of time that you spend worrying.
Recognizing what you should and should not worry about is the first step to stopping this bad habit.
You should never worry about the past, or how it is going to affect future situations. The past is just that—the past. Unless you are able to build a time machine, you can’t change it. Whether it is something that happened years ago, or just regret over something you said a few hours ago, it cannot be undone. You can only move on and make the best of the future.
Example: You have been robbed in the past, and are worried about being robbed again. Being robbed is a horrible thing to go through, but you can’t let it control you. If someone is going to rob you, there really isn’t much you can do about it. But, there are things you can do to prevent it from happening, such as making sure the door is locked or that you are not out walking alone at night.
THINGS YOU CANNOT CONTROL
There is no use in worrying about things you cannot control. If something is going on now or is going to happen that you can do nothing about, worrying is not going to stop that thing from happening.
In fact, worrying is counterproductive in these situations. Instead of worrying about the thing you cannot control, concentrate on what you can control. You can control the way that you react to situations and events. Having a positive attitude and taking initiative to deal with the fall out will make you much happier and naturally decrease your worry.
Example: There is a thunderstorm in the spring and you live in the Midwest. Tornadoes often spring from inclement weather. Perhaps there is even a tornado watch in effect. You cannot control whether or not that tornado is going to hit. You can, however, turn on a weather radio and place yourself in a safe room with no windows and adequate cover. You are prepared for the weather, without letting the worry consume you.
THINGS OTHER PEOPLE DO
You cannot control the actions of others. If someone is going to take an action or say something wrong there is nothing you can do to change it. Again, the only thing you can do is concentrate on your reaction to the situation. Prepare yourself mentally for the possible outcomes and let it go.
Constantly worrying about what someone will do or say is completely pointless, and will only make you that much more upset when something is done that leads to trouble.
Example: Your young adult daughter is making poor choices that could affect her life indefinitely.
Let’s say your daughter does not even live with you. As an adult, she is in charge of her own choices.
You have no control over what she does. However, you can prepare yourself for dealing with the fall out. Whenever you find yourself worrying about her, refocus your thoughts to consider what you can do to help her when she hits bottom.
THINGS YOU CAN EASILY CHANGE
If situations come up that cause you worry and there is something that can be done about it, there is actually no cause to worry. Instead of spending your energy worrying about the situation, focus your efforts on finding solutions.
What will you do to correct the problem? Some people worry about things of this nature because they have never learned good problem solving skills, or find themselves unable to concentrate on finding solutions.
Example: You forget to pay your gas bill and you receive a notice that they are going to shut off your gas. It is the middle of the winter, and a big snowstorm is going to hit in a day or so. You receive the notice late, and have only a day to pay the bill. Instead of worrying about what you are going to do without gas in the bitter cold weather, focus on how to get that bill paid.
You could pull money out of savings, juggle around other bills to come up with the money, take a loan from your bank or a friend, or call a local charity for assistance. If you do all of these things and are not able to pay the bill, you can focus your efforts on finding other arrangements, such as electric space heaters or staying with a friend for a couple of days until the bill can be paid.
Letting Go of Your Worry
It may seem like a very difficult thing to do, but you have to let go of your worry. You cannot function mentally when you are holding on to worry about anything. Learning to let go is the most important thing you can do to improve your life.
There are several things you can do to let go of your worry depending on the type of stress causing it. Learning how to do these things is half the battle. Once you have let go of the emotions or stress the worry will naturally melt away.
TALK TO A THERAPIST
If you have issues major issues with your past that are causing you to worry about the present or the future, such as a robbery, it can be very helpful to talk to a therapist. Exploring your emotions stemming from the event can greatly assist you in putting your worry to rest. The therapist can help you go over what happened in detail, examining what you could have done differently. If there really was nothing you could have done, this can be discovered and dealt with also.
When you address the underlying problems that are causing your worry and work through them you will naturally let go of your worry of the future. A therapist can also give you additional tools and strategies for avoiding this type of worry in the future.
If you are experiencing high anxiety due to your excessive worry, you may want to also seek the help of a psychiatrist in conjunction with the therapist. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications to keep your anxiety under control while you work on developing tools to stop worrying.
Sometimes this is necessary to help you keep your mind clear (1) and stop racing thoughts in order to really be able to focus on how to stop worrying. Once you have reached your goals in therapy your anxiety will be naturally lessened and you won’t need the medication anymore.
You should not feel bad about going to a therapist or seeking psychiatric help. Many people consider therapy a waste of time, or they feel that you have to be crazy to go to a therapist.
In reality, nearly 93% off Americans should seek out therapy at some point in their lives for one reason or another. Interestingly, about 15% of the population are therapists. That tells you that even therapists have problems. No one is exempt, and you do not have to have serious mental problems to benefit from therapy. It has a very undeserved stigma that should not stop you from seeking help.
TALK TO A FRIEND
If there is a situation happening that is causing you worry, talking to a friend can help. Just talking about what is worrying you can make you feel a lot better. Another benefit of talking to a friend is that they can give you advice on how to deal with the situation.
Sometimes the easiest solutions escape us because we are so worried we can’t focus on the solutions. It takes someone from outside the situation to look at it objectively and come up with answers that will alleviate the situation, and your worry about it.
TALK TO THE PERSON CAUSING YOU TO WORRY
If you are worrying about someone in particular, especially if it involves their actions, you should talk to them about it. Let them know that you are worried and why. Explain to them how they might do things differently and offer them objective advice. Even if they fail to listen or follow through, you will know that they are aware of the choices they are making.
You will know that you have done everything you can do, and hope that they will take your concerns to heart. Many times people cannot see where their actions are taking them. Having a heart to heart with them about what you see going on can really help turn things around. Even if it doesn’t help immediately, you will be giving that person something to think about.
If the worry is about how someone will react to a piece of news, something you have said or will say, or something you have done, you have to analyze your feelings about the matter, then talk to them directly. You cannot worry about what someone is going to do. If you have something important to say, you should say it without fear of their reaction. If they react poorly you can talk it out and things should be fine.
If you have done something or made a mistake that you are afraid will anger or upset someone, it is best to address it head on and as soon as possible. Worrying about their reaction will not benefit you at all. The deed is done, and now all you can do is apologize.
Talk to the person you are worried about and let them know what is going on. Apologize if you feel the need, and wait for their reaction. Generally if you are upfront about what is going on and are willing to apologize and talk about it people will be reasonable and all will be well.
PREPARE FOR THE WORST
If something is really worrying you that you can’t really control, one thing you can do to let go of the worry is to prepare for the worst to happen. More than likely the situation will not be as bad as you fear. However, by preparing for the worst possible outcome, you can know that your reaction or solution to the problem is already covered. Having that safety net can greatly reduce anxiety and the worry that can often become obsessive.
LOOKING AT THINGS OBJECTIVELY
When you are obsessively worrying about something it can be difficult to look at the situation objectively. You have to calm your emotions and your mind and attempt to think rationally. Deep breathing techniques or even meditation can greatly assist in this process.
Once you are able to think about the problem objectively you may be able to see that you are worrying about nothing, and be able to let it go. Additionally, when we see things objectively it is much easier to come up with solutions and ideas for our reactions and attitude to the situation, which can prepare you for the outcome and allow your worry to melt away. Without being able to look at something objectively you will not be able to think about it rationally, which is important for eliminated unnecessary worry.
Training Your Mind
Talking about letting go and thinking about things objectively is easy. Putting it into practice, however, is something else entirely. It takes time to develop these skills, but once you learn them it will help you tremendously, not just to keep from worrying but for life in general.
You have to train your mind to think in a specific way. Focusing on your thoughts rather than your emotions can go a long way toward solving problems and letting go of things that are holding you down. This requires a lot of practice, but eventually your mind will work this way whenever something comes up. Your worry will be a thing of the past, and never trouble you again.
Whenever something worries you and you need to think objectively and bring your emotions under control, follow these steps. Eventually your mind will follow this process without conscious thought.
You cannot think objectively and face a worry head-on if you cannot calm down. Sometimes we get so worried that we are emotionally distraught. You may be unable to focus at all, you may be crying or feel like crying, or you may simply have thoughts racing through your mind at an incredible rate. Whatever the case, you have to calm down before you can do anything else.
Calming yourself can actually be rather simple. The easiest way is through deep breathing techniques. Sit quietly, preferably in a quiet room, and focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths in through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. Focus all of your attention on your breathing. You should begin to feel calmer after a few minutes. How long you will need to do this to become truly calm will depend on how upset you are.
If you are at work or have busy home and need to find a quiet space to take a moment for yourself there is a simple solution. No matter where you are there will always be a bathroom. In an office, a restaurant, a grocery store or your home you will find a bathroom to hide in. Since it generally only takes a few minutes to calm down there should be no worry of tying up the restroom so that the comfort of others is not compromised.
WHAT EXACTLY AM I WORRYING ABOUT?
Sometimes a worry can be very general, and in these cases it should be easy to let it go. If you begin to analyze your worry and discover that there is no real basis for it, it becomes easy to leave that worry behind.
Other times there are many aspects to a situation, and you have to figure out what part of the situation has you the most worried. Pick apart the problem and figure out what exactly is worrying you. You cannot tackle the emotions tied to the problem if you cannot focus on exactly what that problem is.
IS IT SOMETHING I CAN CONTROL?
Think about the worry and situation objectively. Is it something you can control? Is there anything that you can do to change the outcome? Is the worry based on a situation caused by others? Ask yourself all of these questions and answer them honestly. Think about your answers carefully, and make sure
that it is something worth worrying about. If you can’t change it, let it go.
WHAT CAN I DO TO REDUCE POTENTIAL IMPACT?
If the worry is over something that could lead to a specific outcome, and that outcome is the source of the worry, you should consider what you can do to reduce the impact of that outcome on your life. What can you do to alleviate the situation? Is there anything that you can do to remove the problem causing the worry? If you cannot change the situation, how can you react positively? Asking yourself these questions will help you see the problem more clearly and prepare you for the next step.
MAKE A PLAN
Decide what you are able to do about the situation causing the worry. Whether you can only control your reactions to the fallout or there is something you can do to avoid the situation altogether, there is a lot to be said for making a solid plan of action. When you first start out with this process, or if it is a complex situation, you may need a scratch pad and pen to brainstorm and write down the steps to the solution. However, as your mind becomes used to thinking in this way it will come naturally and no pen and paper will be necessary.
TAKE ON THE RIGHT ATTITUDE
Talk yourself through taking on the right attitude. Thinking positively is important for any solution to work. You also have to become determined that your solution will work or that you will make it work. Get it set in your mind that you will be proactive and follow through on the plan you have made. Taking on these attitudes will naturally push the worry out of your mind as you focus on what you are going to accomplish.
Developing Problem Solving Skills
Problem solving skills play a large role in resolving worry. You can’t hope to eliminate worry until you can analyze problems objectively and come up with solid solutions and a plan of action. Many people struggle with making decisions and solving problems. Developing these skills over time will allow you to solve problems more easily without much thought.
There are several steps you should take to solve a problem. At first you may need to take these steps one at a time. You may even need to write down your results from each step in order to be effective. However, as you develop these skills over time you will find that you can solve problems quickly without the extra steps.
ANALYZE THE PROBLEM
Brainstorm exactly what the problem is, and break it down completely. Consider every aspect of the problem and everything that can impact the outcome. You cannot solve the problem if it is not clear in your mind.
Once you have the problem broken down, you need to analyze how it affects yourself and others. Consider the different points of view involved, and the interests of everyone that can be affected by the problem or solution.
Brainstorming solutions can be difficult at first, but over time it will get easier. Consider every possible outcome, and try to come up with solutions that could head off each one. It is best to come up with ideas that could solve the problem in more than one way to cover all possible outcomes. As a general rule there is always more than one way to solve a problem.
ANALYZE THE SOLUTIONS
You have to analyze the solutions objectively. Weigh each one individually to determine how it would solve the problem, and to find flaws in the idea. List the pros and cons of each solution, then compare them. This can be done on a computer or on a piece of paper using three columns: the possible solution, the pros and the cons. Use one line or block for each possible solution. This makes it easier to analyze them side by side for closer inspection.
MAKE A PLAN
Make a plan of action based on the solution you determined is the best one. The plan should be listed out in steps when you are first starting out. Get it firmly in your mind how you are going to follow through and enact the solution. You will need to make sure that you know exactly what needs to be done for the solution to work.
For more complex problems you should also come up with an alternate plan of action. Having a “Plan B” will help you deal more effectively if the situation changes or unforeseen events occur.
This may seem like a lengthy process for solving a problem. However, even the smallest problems can be solved using these steps. For smaller worries it will not be necessary to write down everything as you go, and the process may take only a few minutes.
However, if you train your mind to think in this way, you will more easily be able to make positive decisions that can take away the worry that you are feeling. Remember as well that you will need to follow through in order to benefit from this process.
Determination is an important trait (2) to develop when trying to resolve worry. You have to be determined that you are going to put the worry behind you by doing all you can to alleviate the situation. Become determined to follow through, and make sure you don’t slack off. If you don’t take action, nothing will be accomplished, nothing will change, and the worry will consume you.
I hope this article was able to help you to discover the steps to take to resolve your worry. Worrying about things will only make your life more complicated and depressing, which can in turn increase your worry. It leads to a vicious cycle that is hard to break on your own. Learning these strategies is the first step to reclaiming your positive attitude and your life.
The next step is to start using these strategies right away. If you find that you are not able to resolve these strategies on your own you may want to locate a therapist that can help you develop these skills and learn other tools that may help you. Sometimes therapy is necessary for learning to let go of worry.
If you have very high anxiety due to your excessive worry habits, you may also need to seek the help of a psychologist who can prescribe medication for your anxiety. Once you have succeeded in controlling your worry with the help of the therapist you can stop taking the medication. You can also use aromatherapy and massage techniques to alleviate anxiety.
In addition, you may want to practice problem solving skills with small things so that when you need them you will be able to use them effortlessly. Get yourself used to making definitive decisions on even the smallest things so that when it comes time to make an important decision you can do so without worrying about the outcome.