How To Not Care What Others Think About You: 15-Step Guide

how to not care what others think
how to not care what others think

Want to know how to not care what others think about you? Then you’re in the right place.

Wanting to be accepted is a natural part of being human. We’re social creatures, and it feels good when others like and appreciate us. The problem starts when we let other people’s opinions control our decisions, shape our behavior, or hold us back from living authentically.

If you’ve found yourself constantly second-guessing how others see you, there are ways to break free from that cycle. Here are some practical strategies to help you stop worrying so much about what other people think.

How To Not Care What Others Think About You:

1. Strengthen your self-confidence

Confidence doesn’t appear overnight, but it grows every time you invest in yourself. When you feel secure in who you are, the criticism or approval of others starts to matter less. Try a few of these practices:

  • Write down your strengths. Whether it’s your creativity, sense of humor, or persistence, seeing your qualities in black and white helps you appreciate yourself.
  • Accept imperfections. Maybe you’re shorter than you’d like or not the loudest voice in the room. Owning these traits instead of fighting them builds real confidence.
  • Do what makes you feel competent. If you’re great at painting, problem-solving, or playing soccer, spend more time in those areas. Success in one space carries over into how you feel overall.
  • Take care of your body. Small acts like exercising, eating nourishing food, dressing in clothes that fit well, and practicing good hygiene send the message to yourself that you’re worth the effort.
  • Practice confident body language. Standing tall, smiling, and speaking clearly can shift how you feel internally while also changing the way people respond to you.

2. Don’t get stuck in your head

Overthinking is one of the fastest ways to drain your energy. Maybe you replay a conversation from earlier, worrying you sounded awkward, or you wonder for hours whether someone’s compliment was genuine. This mental loop rarely gives you useful answers. Instead:

  • Redirect your thoughts toward something constructive, like working on a hobby, planning a goal, or calling a friend who makes you feel good.
  • When a negative thought about yourself pops up, pause and ask: “Is this fact or assumption?” You’ll often realize you’re imagining criticism that doesn’t exist.
  • Focus on what excites you. Thinking about future trips, projects, or small pleasures like trying a new restaurant can shift your perspective.

3. Keep a gratitude journal

When your attention is glued to what people might think of you, it’s easy to forget everything that’s already going right. Writing a gratitude list regularly can help rebalance your mindset. For example, jot down things like:

  • The way your dog greets you when you come home
  • A recent conversation that made you laugh
  • The cozy spot in your house where you love to read
  • Your health, talents, or even just the ability to learn something new
    Set aside 10–15 minutes to fill a page. Keep adding to it weekly, and when self-doubt creeps in, revisit the list. You’ll remind yourself that your life is full of reasons to feel grounded and content, regardless of what others say.

4. Train your brain to look for the positive

Negative voices, whether from classmates, coworkers, or even family, can make it tempting to focus on what’s wrong. But with practice, you can condition yourself to see what’s good instead.

  • Start small: smile more often, even at strangers. It creates micro-moments of positivity.
  • Talk about things you’re excited about instead of rehashing frustrations. The more you verbalize the good, the more natural it becomes to notice it.
  • Stay present. Regret about the past and fear about the future both steal the joy of what’s happening right now. Ground yourself by noticing the details around you—a song playing, the taste of your coffee, or the fresh air outside.

5. Shift how you see negativity from others

People who lash out or criticize are often carrying their own insecurities. Recognizing this doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it helps you stop internalizing it. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” ask, “What’s going on with them?”

Think of a coworker who constantly belittles others’ ideas. Chances are, they feel threatened or inadequate. By realizing their behavior is about their struggles—not your worth—you gain emotional distance. You don’t have to fight back or prove yourself; you can simply step away with your confidence intact.

6. Remember that most people aren’t paying attention to you

It’s easy to imagine that everyone is analyzing what you do, but the truth is, most people are too caught up in their own lives to give much thought to yours. That comment you made in class, the shirt you chose to wear, or the way you stumbled over your words in a meeting probably registered for a second and then disappeared from their mind.

Think about your own habits—how often do you replay what others wore yesterday or the way they phrased something in conversation? Chances are, hardly ever. Realizing this can be freeing. You’re not constantly under a microscope, and once you understand that, you can move through life with less self-consciousness.

7. Accept that you can’t please everyone

No matter how hard you try, someone will always have a different opinion. Your parents may want you to take one career path, your friends might encourage another, and society will throw its own expectations into the mix. It’s impossible to satisfy them all. If you spend your life chasing approval, you’ll never have the chance to figure out what makes you happy.

For example, you might decide to study art instead of medicine, or wear bold clothes instead of neutral ones—there will always be critics. The important part is that you’re living authentically. You don’t need universal approval; you need self-approval.

8. Surround yourself with people who lift you up

The company you keep shapes how you see yourself. If you’re constantly around people who nitpick, criticize, or compete with you, it’s much harder to feel confident. Instead, spend time with those who celebrate your wins, encourage your growth, and support your dreams.

Think of the friend who listens without judgment, or the colleague who genuinely congratulates you when you succeed. That’s the type of person who deserves your energy. Of course, sometimes you can’t avoid negative people—like a difficult classmate or a relative at family gatherings. In those situations, try to keep interactions short and focus your attention on those who bring positivity into the room.

9. Invest time in what you love

When you’re deeply engaged in activities that make you happy, you stop worrying about outside judgment. Playing guitar, running trails, cooking new recipes, writing short stories, or learning a new language—whatever it is, immersing yourself in it creates joy and confidence.

Imagine joining a local running group: not only are you improving your fitness, but you’re also meeting people who share your passion. That sense of belonging makes criticism from outsiders feel less significant. The more time you dedicate to what excites you, the less time you’ll have for worrying about whether others approve.

10. Create goals and work toward them

Few things build self-respect like progress. When you set goals and steadily accomplish them, you start focusing more on your own growth and less on how you’re perceived. These goals don’t need to be massive—writing a page of your novel each day, saving up for a trip, learning a new skill, or training to run five kilometers all count.

Each small victory reinforces the idea that your time is best spent chasing your ambitions, not chasing approval. Over time, your goals become a shield: the busier you are working toward something meaningful, the less space you leave for doubts about what others might think.

11. Choose not to retaliate

When someone is unkind, the instinct might be to snap back, to meet their insult with one of your own. In the moment, it feels like you’re defending yourself. But in reality, you’re only stepping into the same mud they’re standing in. Trading insults rarely ends with a sense of victory—it usually spirals into more negativity.

Imagine someone at work making a sarcastic remark about your effort. Instead of firing back, you can calmly respond with neutrality or simply let the comment fall flat. In doing so, you’re showing that their words don’t control you. Taking the high road may not feel as satisfying in the moment, but it gives you peace in the long run.

12. Guard your emotions in public

Even the most confident people sometimes feel the sting of criticism. But showing how deeply you’re hurt often fuels the negativity. If someone is teasing or mocking you, work on maintaining composure. Keep your tone calm, your expression steady, and your body language relaxed.

For instance, if a classmate tries to get a rise out of you, shrugging it off and moving on to another topic shows more strength than snapping back. That doesn’t mean you have to suppress your feelings completely—vent in private with a trusted friend, write down your frustrations in a journal, or go for a run to release tension. The goal is to avoid handing the person the satisfaction of knowing they’ve gotten under your skin.

13. Practice speaking your truth

As your self-confidence grows, so should your comfort in expressing your opinions. You don’t need to dominate every conversation, but when you have something to say, speak with clarity and conviction.

Let’s say you’re in a group project and everyone wants to rush through with the easiest option, but you believe there’s a better approach. Sharing your perspective, even if it’s unpopular, reinforces that your voice matters. People respect those who stand by their values.

Of course, being assertive also means being willing to listen. Others may disagree, and that’s fine. You don’t have to backtrack just to smooth things over—you can acknowledge their view without abandoning your own.

14. Get comfortable with your own company

When you truly enjoy spending time alone, the pressure to impress others diminishes. Being content on your own means you’re not constantly looking for validation from a crowd. Try taking yourself out to a café, going for a solo hike, or exploring a new hobby without waiting for someone to join you.

At first, it might feel strange, but soon you’ll discover how liberating it is to set your own pace. You might even find new passions—painting quietly at home, jogging at sunrise, or learning a language online. Independence in your free time builds resilience, and it makes you less vulnerable to other people’s opinions.

15. Stop apologizing when you’re not at fault

Over-apologizing often comes from a desire to keep the peace and avoid criticism. But every time you say “sorry” unnecessarily, you chip away at your own confidence. For example, if someone bumps into you in the hallway and you instinctively apologize, ask yourself—did you actually do anything wrong? Probably not.

Instead of apologizing, you can simply say, “Excuse me,” or continue without giving it much thought. Reserve your apologies for moments when you’ve genuinely made a mistake. This doesn’t make you stubborn; it shows that you respect yourself enough not to take blame that isn’t yours. And as you practice this, others will begin to respect you more too.

Summary:

Caring about what other people think is something almost everyone struggles with at some point. We all want to be liked and accepted, but letting outside opinions dictate how you live can leave you stressed, insecure, and disconnected from your true self. The good news is that you can train yourself to shift focus inward, build confidence, and create a life where your own values matter more than anyone else’s judgment.

  • Build real confidence by focusing on your strengths, accepting imperfections, taking care of yourself, and practicing confident body language.
  • Avoid overthinking and redirect your energy toward meaningful activities, future plans, or positive feedback instead of replaying negative comments.
  • Practice gratitude by keeping a list of things you value in your life and revisiting it when self-doubt creeps in.
  • Train your mindset to look for the positive, smile more, and stay present instead of dwelling on regrets or fears.
  • Reframe negativity by understanding that people who gossip or criticize often act from their own insecurity, not because of your shortcomings.
  • Remember people aren’t focused on you—most are too busy thinking about themselves to analyze your every move.
  • Accept that you can’t please everyone and that your main responsibility is to live authentically, not to meet everyone’s expectations.
  • Surround yourself with supportive people and distance yourself from those who bring you down whenever possible.
  • Spend time on activities you love and let joy and passion crowd out unnecessary worries about judgment.
  • Set meaningful goals and work toward them so that your focus stays on progress rather than approval.
  • Don’t retaliate when criticized; instead, take the high road and avoid getting stuck in endless negativity.
  • Control your reactions in public and handle emotions privately so others can’t use them against you.
  • Speak your mind with confidence while staying respectful, instead of silencing yourself to keep others happy.
  • Learn to enjoy your own company so you don’t rely on others for validation or constant companionship.
  • Stop apologizing when you’ve done nothing wrong, and save apologies for genuine mistakes rather than using them to appease others.
Przemkas Mosky
Przemkas Mosky started Perfect 24 Hours in 2017. He is a Personal Productivity Specialist, blogger and entrepreneur. He also works as a coach assisting people to increase their motivation, social skills or leadership abilities. Read more here