This article has everything you need to know about how to figure out what you want in a relationship.
It’s difficult to know exactly what you want out of a relationship, particularly if you’re young or inexperienced. And if you’ve dated a lot of people before, each relationship is new, and you may have different interests now than you did before.
It’s a long journey to figure out what you want in a partnership, but it’s well worth it.
How To Figure Out What You Want In a Relationship:
1. Make a list of things that aren’t negotiable.
It’s also easier to figure out what you don’t want in a relationship than it is to figure out what you do want. It may be difficult to figure out what you want, but you normally have a good idea about what you don’t want.
First, sit down and make a set of conditions that will disqualify a possible match.
2. Determine which of your personal ideals you can not sacrifice.
Personal ideals may be thought of as a path map for the kind of life you want to live. It’s unrealistic to expect a romantic partner to respect any of your beliefs.
However, you can be certain of your own so that you can determine which values and convictions you are unable to compromise.
If you value integrity, for example, you are unlikely to get along with a partner who deceives you. Furthermore, if your wife expects you to cheat, it would most definitely create a split in your partnership.
3. Think of the old relationships you’ve had.
Consider the previous partnerships you’ve had, whether intimate, platonic, or familial. Consider the reasons that led to the relationship’s failure in those cases where it ended poorly.
What in those partnerships made you sad or dissatisfied?
Make a list of any negative habits you may see in your previous partnerships with unfulfilling partners, mates, or family members. Consider these issues as a starting point for something you don’t expect to happen in the future.
4. Consider any problems you’ve seen with the partnerships around you.
Other people’s partnerships have an effect on you as well. You’ve almost certainly spent time with acquaintances or family members who were romantically involved.
And if you were on the outside looking in, you might have been mindful of the problems these people were having.
Take notice of any warning signals you see in other people’s partnerships that you don’t want to happen in your own. Learning from other people’s failures will help you have a more fulfilling friendship in the future.
5. Take care of yourself first.
Often people make the mistake of looking for a love relationship to complete them. Your mate, on the other hand, can only serve as a compliment to you; you should be full on your own.
Feeling complete entails getting self-love that is not reliant on the love of another.
6. Consider the kind of friendship you want.
What are the goals for both yourself and your partner? Try to be as objective as possible when it comes to yourself.
This can help you distinguish between the kinds of individuals you don’t want to encounter and the behavioural habits you don’t want to repeat, as well as the kind of relationship you really want.
7. Convert an inventory of deal-breakers into a prioritized list of values.
Return to the list of non-negotiables. You will now discover certain stuff you really like by discovering what you don’t want. Transform the list of deal-breakers into desirable characteristics in a partner (1).
When you think about more ‘nice-to-have’ attributes, add them to the list. Being absolutely truthful about yourself is important. Put it down if outward beauty is a deal breaker for you.
However, continue to concentrate on attributes rather than appearances, such as intellect, patience, and empathy.
Religion and politics, which may or may not be important to you, should also be considered. Nothing can be left out, no matter how embarrassing or insignificant it can seem.
8. Be the kind of person you’d like to date.
One way to get the most out of the experience of finding your dream mate is to represent the qualities you’re searching for.
This approach helps you to decide what you are able to offer in a partnership as well as verify if your standards are reasonable.
Having a list of requests without making any improvements of your own is unfair. Personifying the characteristics you want, on the other hand, renders you a desirable mate that is more apt to meet someone like you.
If good fitness and well-being are essential qualities you want in a spouse, for example, dedicate a month to concentrating solely on your own health—eating well, exercising, managing tension, and having enough sleep.
Maintain your healthy habits until the month is over.
Assume you described “being wealthy” as an attribute you want. If you think you’ll have a hard time being wealthy overnight, change this quality to something like “is financially secure.”
9. Go out with a small group of people with no expectations.
You can create lists and check back on previous partnerships for clues, but the easiest way to find out what you want in a relationship is to start casual dating.
Take a few people out for lunch, ice cream, or beverages that seem to fit the criteria.
However, be aware of the shortcomings when entering this domain. It’s possible if you don’t want to be sexually involved with many individuals at the same time.
Often, to avoid hurt feelings, make sure you express that you are dating lightly. If you don’t have a normal bond with others, set a date for when you can avoid seeing them.
Cut contact with all else and obey your instincts if anyone seems to be serious, or if you start becoming more drawn to one person than another.
10. Consider the compatibility with various suitors.
Think about how well each entity fits up with your personal beliefs, ambitions, and desires when you spontaneously date a few prospective suitors.
Be sure no one is reflecting all of the values on the list of deal-breakers. Don’t forget about your own wants and needs as you get to know this guy.
You may automatically feel a stronger bond or alignment with one individual than the others at this stage. Now is the time to break links with all other suitors so you can concentrate on improving and maintaining your friendship with this guy.
Even if you seem to be a successful match on paper, there will not be much chemistry in person. That’s fine!
Rather than attempting to force things, pass on to another suitor.
11. Consider the engagement after the honeymoon period is over.
Every short-term friendship begins with rose-colored glasses on your partner’s face. All the other person does or does is delightful. The flawless atmosphere that surrounds this individual begins to disappear with time.
Prepare for this possibility by thinking about how things will be in a few months or years after the crazy-in-love process has passed.
When the rose-colored lenses fall down, you must wonder if the apparently little details that irritate you regarding your mate will be magnified.
Return to the list and double-check that you haven’t overlooked any vital ideals or attributes as a result of your obsession.
Consider that you are obligated to resent any little quirk in your mate before you split up with them over some perceived slight. And sure you don’t forget about the non-negotiables.
12. Have eye contact with your mate.
If you and your partner discover that you share common beliefs, ambitions, desires, and perspectives on life, it might be time to have a candid discussion about where you are.
If you’ve determined that this individual represents everything you’re looking for in a partner, double-check that he or she feels the same way.
Be honest with yourself about how you feel (2). It’s best to decide early on whether the partner isn’t involved in a long-term partnership.
Don’t make the error of assuming you might persuade him or her to alter his or her mind.
Request some alone time with your partner to share your thoughts regarding the partnership. It’s crucial to determine if your mate sees the two of you in the long run and is willing to become mutually exclusive.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about how to figure out what you want in a relationship. I sincerely hope its contents have been a good help to you.