This new article will show you everything you need to know about how to deal with manipulative people.
If you have become a victim of manipulation and contact with the manipulator makes your life difficult, burns you out and destroys you, face him.
How To Deal With Manipulative People:
1. Learn manipulative tactics
The way we influence people is not secret knowledge. The more you know about psychological mechanisms of manipulation, the easier it will be for you to see manipulation, name it and defend yourself.
2. Remember especially about human tendency to “take short-cuts ” and take action under the influence of specific stimuli.
– If you want to reciprocate a gift or gesture… think.
– Before you do something because you like someone very much… think.
– Don’t let someone’s authority obscure the whole world for you.
– If you are going to do something because others are doing it… wait.
– Don’t be consistent against reason.
– Don’t pursue something just because it’s inaccessible.
3. Look for a “devil’s advocate” for yourself
It is good to have a friend who we trust, who knows us well and with whom we can discuss our views or behaviour. It is worth having a person who will always react critically if, in the inflow of emotions and under the influence of others, you act against your values, contrary to previous opinions.
4. Develop the necessary skills
Work on increasing your emotional intelligence (knowing your own emotions, being able to control yourself and recognise the emotions of others). Be aware of your own strengths and build self-esteem.
5. Listen to your emotions
Only then will you be able to hear the weakest emotions that tell you that not everything is as beautiful and true as you are trying to convince yourself.
6. Develop the ability to cope with pressure
Stay calm and cool in contact with the manipulator, practice dealing with negative emotions (anger, anxiety, frustration and anxiety). In a pressure situation, use the technique of grading your reaction:
– Ask not to insist.
– If this does not help, refer to your own rules/decisions: “I have a rule that I do not pass on such information.
– Refer to your own emotions: “It’s starting to irritate me, I’m irritated by your insistence.
– Underline respect for your own decisions: “My decision is irrevocable.
7. Clarify unclear expectations
The manipulator uses understatements and reaches for what he wants, without formulating clear requests. In this case, pretend that you do not understand his intentions, especially when you already know what he is hoping for. Wait until he clearly formulates his expectation. Perhaps he’ll be upset to see you don’t fall into his trap, he’ll try to make you feel guilty. Nevertheless, keep your own way of doing things.
8. Limit meetings and discussions
If you are in frequent contact with a manipulator, make sure you reduce the frequency of your meetings, for example if you work together, try to get a different room, different working hours. But when you have to see the manipulator, limit the number of conversations, of course by courtesy. Take up as neutral a topic as possible, do not talk about yourself or your private life.
9. Confrontation with a manipulator
If you have become a victim of manipulation and contact with the manipulator makes your life difficult, burns you out and destroys you, face him. Remember the following rules:
- Prepare to talk, write down the goals you want to achieve during the conversation.
- Do not go to the meeting alone, make sure that your confrontation takes place in front of witnesses.
- Expose the manipulation – to bring out the intrigue and actions of the manipulator into the daylight, you cannot rely only on your memory.
- Forgetting the facts, we give him a field of defense and counter-attack. Save all documents to confirm your accusations, keep a record of individual events, keep e-mails, and evidence of decisions made.
- You will be able to use the evidence during the confrontation.
- Bring the conversation to the concrete, describe the situation using the most objective formulations possible.
- Show your firmness – manipulators draw strength from the weakness and uncertainty of others, so be confident and firm in the confrontation. Remember that manipulators are afraid of open confrontations, so go ahead and tell them about the material and emotional consequences you bear. Use “I” messages and do not attack.
- Suggest a solution to the situation, present your expectations and tell about the benefits of this solution for both sides.
10. Finally, cut off all contact with the manipulator…
When your actions do not bring any results, conversations do not lead to a change of situation and constructive solutions, you are most likely dealing with someone who has manipulation inscribed in nature. In such a situation it is best to break off the contact with such a person for your own good.
Thank you for reading this article about how to deal with manipulative people and I really hope that you take action my advice. I wish you good luck and I hope its contents have been a good help to you.