Today you’re going to learn how to be more charismatic.
Because of the close association between personal charisma and success in life, about eighty five percent of your success and happiness will come from your relationships and interactions with other people. The more positive the others respond to you, the easier it will be for you to get the things you want.
In essence when we discuss charisma we are talking about the law of attraction.
This law has been stated in many different ways down through the centuries but it basically says that you inevitably attract into your life the people and circumstances that harmonize with your dominant thoughts will ultimately transpire in your life.
In a sense you are a living magnet and you’re constantly radiating thought waves radio station radiates sound waves that are picked up by other people.
Your thoughts are intensified by your emotions as radio waves are intensified by electrical impulses that go out from you and are picked up by anyone who is tuned in to a similar wavelength.
You then attract in your life the people. ideas and opportunities, the resources, circumstances, money and anything else that is consistent with your dominant frame of mind and with your emotional eyes.
This law of attraction also explains how you can develop your levels of charisma, so that you can have a greater and more positive impact on the people whose cooperation and support and affection you desire.
The critical thing to remember about charisma is it is largely based on perception. It’s based on what people think about you and what people think you are. It’s not so much reality as it is what people perceive you to be.
For example, one person can create charisma in another person if they speak in glowing terms about that person to a third-party.
How To Be More Charismatic
If you believe that you’re about to meet an outstanding important person, that person will tend to be charismatic when you meet them, even if you’ve been told another story.
For example, imagine that sitting next to you is a person who started with nothing and is now worth hundred million dollars, drives a Rolls-Royce, owns a beautiful home and is one of the smartest business people in America or the world.
If I told you the person next to you was this person, you would see and think about this person totally differently. That person would have tremendous charisma because of his reputation that has been created for him.
Another example of this would be, if you walk past a rock star on the sidewalk and didn’t recognize him at all.
They would have no impact on you, but if you recognize a real rock star you really admired and respected, you would be overwhelmed with the effect that they might have, so everything is therefore based on our perception.
One of the most charismatic people in the world, was Mother Teresa of Calcutta. In a physical sense she was a quiet elderly, frail little woman in poor health. She might’ve been ignored by a person passing on the street were it not for the tremendous charisma that she developed after the fact.
Her appearance was so well known as a result. I had a good friend who was in the hospital in San Diego for heart surgery.
He was allowed to meet with her for five minutes as a favor to someone else. It came out afterwards and he said that five minutes with her changed his life. He resigned from his profession. He quit his job.
He moved away to start a whole new life as a result of spending five minutes with the frail older woman in a hospital bed recovering from heart surgery because his belief in her charisma and the one or two words that she told him about loving other people unconditionally.
If someone told you that they were going to introduce you to a brilliant self-made millionaire who was very quiet and unassuming about his success you would want to almost naturally interview that person with charisma and special abilities, and in his presence he would not act the same as you would if you’ve been told nothing at all.
Charisma begins largely in the mind of the beholder, and you can affect mental state of the mind of the beholder.
Charisma depends more upon the person you really are than upon the things that you do so if you want to grow your charisma, you should continually look for ways to improve others’ perceptions of you so that you can be more influential with them.
One more secret to charisma is the more you listen to people and treat them as though they are fascinating, the more they will find you fascinating as well .
Does Your Body Language Attract or Repel People?
The other day I was at an event and mingled with about thirty or forty different people. Some friends, some strangers and noticed that different individuals could actually tell people to stay away just with their body language.
Very few people talk with them while others had a lot of people coming up and starting a conversation.
Why was this? Because with our body language, we can either repel people , telling them to stay away or we can attract them.
This is important if you’re in business or sales and you want to attract people, making them want to talk to you. That means more sales. If your dating or in a relationship, you want to attract people and if you want more friends you want to attract people.
So let’s look at what body language repels or shouts out the people to stay away.
First is the frown. Throughout the day, look in the mirror and see what your facial expression is. If it’s a frown or a hard look, or maybe an angry look, people are going to stay away.
I know some cause for myself if I distract her thinking about a problem my face will frown it will tell people to stay away, arms crossed. When you cross your arms in front of you, it’s sending the signal that you don’t want to talk.
This is not always the case. Some people just like to fold their arms, but it is actually sending the nonverbal signal of boredom.
If you have a bored look it subtly tells people that you don’t want to talk. You look depressed and who wants to talk with the depressed person staring off into space. If you are preoccupied with another problem, it is sending signals to people to stay away,
The second body language that will repel people is being distracted. If you are distracted either when you’re standing there, or when you’re talking to someone, this body language gives them the impression that you are not interested and therefore, they will feel put off.
What are some positive signals we can use to attract people to us?
First is the smile.
A smile makes our voice sound warm and friendly smile makes us look inviting. It invites others to come talk to us, and scientific research has shown that a smile will actually make us feel better (1).
Keeping your arms loose will also give the impression that you are approachable. Keep your arms loose, hanging at your sides and don’t put them on your hips or let them fall in front of you. Just keep them loose
Good posture is essential when attracting people to you. When you have a great posture, you will look confident and you will feel confident and we all know that individuals like to talk confident people.
Casually surveying the room if you happen not to be talking to anyone, even to stand there and casually survey the room briefly but with a relaxed demeanor yourself, will invite others to approach and engage you in conversation.
Once you become aware of your body language and start sending positive vibes to people, you will notice that you’ll become more friendly and better at conversation.
It’s All in The Voice
Did you know that the sound of your voice has a profound influence on the mood and receptivity of the person you’re talking to?
It’s true and the mere tone of your voice accounts for almost eighty percent of your message, maybe even more!
Also, who would you prefer to listen to someone who has a high toned voice that pierces your ears and makes you wish you were somewhere else or someone who is able to charm you with a warm full voice that makes you feel as though you’re wrapped up in a cashmere blanket itself.
Of course cashmere wins every time over little monotonous and boring voices, high screech voices or really low voices. They’re sure to reduce both the attention and the receptivity of the listener.
You have to learn how to use your voice the way storytellers do, with animation and color that makes whatever you talk about, even if it’s just the weather of the stock market, sound interesting. So resolve to be a storyteller and avoid talking fax machine.
We want to sound friendly, warm, reassuring, interested and caring.
Speaking with your voice in the lower to middle tones is great when you want to reason with the other person or show that you care. Your dialog should be thoughtful as well so remind yourself to slow down.
It’s very difficult to be close, friendly, warm or thoughtful when we are speaking to quickly. Most of us tend to slow down naturally when we are expressing our deeper emotions except for maybe anger.
It sounds much more sincere and real when you slow it down. When you slow down your voice, the tone becomes a lower and more gentle. On the other hand, if you have a flat voice push yourself out of your comfort zone.
When you want to sound excited or energized, use the upper sounds of your vocals. However, careful not to be too high where it sounds like you are changing gears or screeching. Choose your pace and tone based on what you’re talking about in the moment.
Remember if you want to display power, you want to create a tone which suggests size and strength, so avoid higher sounds as they convey smallness and weakness.
Powerful people, by the way didn’t really speak more slowly or with lower vocals, they simply slow down the vocals, and this gives their words power which means that people pay more attention.
How to Manifest Instant Charisma
Charisma has been described as personal magnetism or charm.
Any type of charisma is all about an individual of infectious positive attitude, personal energy and enthusiasm as projected through his or her body language. While some people do not have to try to be charismatic, many who are charismatic are actually feeling uncertain.
It is a tricky thing, but there are two valid options that will help you manifest instant charisma.
The first option is the approach to acting that draws on real past emotions. For example, when preparing for a role that involves fear an actor would remember something that had actually frightened him or her in the past and bring up the emotional feelings of that specific time.
This is the same sense of convention and believability that you want to project when you want to be seen as charismatic. Basically, you would think of a time when you had confidence or success.
This could be a memory of a past professional achievement, or any other part of your life where you have felt confident. What’s important is identifying the right sense of emotion and you can draw on those same positive feelings to manifest instant charisma.
The more you repeat in this mental rehearsal the more you increase the likelihood that you will display true charisma with body language and project confidence.
The second option is the use of powerful posture. Researchers have shown that holding your body in expansive high-power poses for as little as two minutes stimulates higher levels of testosterone hormone which heighten the power of dominance and lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.
The researchers found that power postures increase feelings of confidence and increase a willingness to take risks. They also found that other people are more often influenced how they feel about you and by what you’re saying.
So before you go into a situation in which you want to be seen as your most charismatic self, start by recalling a time you were confident, stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, hold your head high, then smile and stretch out your arms.
If you hold that pose and train of thought for two minutes, you’ll begin to feel sure of yourself and to project real confidence and your own personal brand of charisma.
The Power of Visualization
The first aspect of visualization is called frequency. This refers to the number of times that you visualize a particular goal has been achieved or of yourself performing in an excellent way in a particular event or circumstance stance.
You need a clear mental picture (2) of your very best performance since you will see result the more rapidly and it will appear as part of your reality.
The second element of visualization is the duration of the mental image, the length of time that you can hold the picture in your mind each time you replay it.
When you are deeply relaxed, you can hold a mental picture of yourself performing at your best for several seconds or even several minutes longer.
It will be impressed in your subconscious mind and the more rapidly it will express itself in your subsequent performance.
The third element of visualization is vividness. There seems to be a direct relationship between health and how clearly you can see your desired goal or result in your mind, and how quickly it comes into your reality.
This element of visualization is what explains the powers of the law of attraction, the vividness of your desire to visualize determines how quickly it materializes in the world around you.
Here’s an interesting point, when you set a new goal for yourself, your image or picture of this goal will usually be vague and fuzzy, but the more often you write it down and review it and repeat it mentally, the clearer it becomes for you.
Eventually it becomes crystal clear to that point that it is also appearing in the world exactly as you imagine it.
The fourth element of visualization is intensity. This is the amount of emotion you invest to making your visual image a reality.
This is the most important and powerful part of the visualization process. Sometimes if your emotion is intense enough and your visual image is clear enough your goal will immediately come true.
If you want to create charisma immediately, start to visualize and imagine yourself as the most charismatic, charming and inviting person in the world.
Imagine that everyone you delights in being around you & wants to engage in conversation with you because you are so warm, inviting, complimentary and friendly. See yourself as that charismatic person that you want to be and soon, your visualizations will start to come true.
Of course, the elements of frequency, duration, vividness and intensity can help you or hurt you just like nature. The power of visualization is mutual, like a two-edged sword. It can cut in either direction.
It can either make you a success or make you a failure.
Visualization brings you whatever you vividly and intensely imagine whether good or bad. That is why you should continually feed your mind with clear, exciting, emotional pictures. Remember, your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.
More Tips to Finding Your Charisma
If you want to be more charismatic, you should act with credibility.
Those who are inconsistent on the behavior repel people where people who are consistent in their behavior draw others to them because they demonstrate integrity and extend respect.
A few interpersonal skills would make a big difference and create a respectful atmosphere and these include not interrupting conversations, asking if a person has time to talk and listening to ideas.
Always deliver sincere compliments, people care what you think about them and they appreciate you mentioning their good work.
We need to recognize them so be specific in your compliments. Insincere compliments will often draw unwanted attention and belittles both you and the person offering the compliment.
If you are on the receiving end of a compliment, just say thank you you’ll be pleased with how gracious you become.
Always state what you are for, not against. When you are against something, the person thinks you are against them personally. People are less likely to cooperate when they think you are against something.
Just remember, there is a difference in being charismatic as opposed to charming. The charismatic personality exudes wisdom, beauty, sex and power, whereas the charmer merely exudes, sensuality, wit and self-assurance.
But here is the defining fact that separates the two: once the charmer has left the room they take with them their effect; not so with the charismatic individual.
Once they have left a room they create an emotional vacuum which leaves others longing to be back in their company as soon as possible.
In other words, their charismatic effect is long lasting. Charm may win over a table full of dinner guests but only charisma can hold the attention of a room full of strangers.
Thank you for reading this article about how to be more charismatic and I really hope that you take action my advice. I wish you good luck and I hope its contents have been a good help to you.