This new article will show you everything you need to know about how to be more assertive at work.
Speaking up at work can often feel intimidating, particularly if you’re someone who tends to be more reserved or struggles with self-confidence. However, being assertive is an essential communication skill that can improve your professional life, personal relationships, and even your overall well-being.
Research has shown that individuals who learn to assertively express their thoughts and needs are more successful, have better work-life balance, and enjoy healthier relationships. The good news is that assertiveness is a skill you can develop with practice. Below are some practical steps to get you started.
How To Be More Assertive At Work:
1. Start with Small Steps
If you’re new to speaking up in the workplace, it’s best to begin with low-stakes situations. You don’t need to immediately volunteer for a big presentation or negotiate a major raise. Instead, start by addressing smaller, everyday issues.
For instance, if your manager promised new office equipment like a chair or monitor but hasn’t followed through, politely remind them. A simple, respectful request allows you to practice asserting your needs without feeling too pressured. Over time, these small wins will accumulate and increase your confidence, making it easier to tackle more significant conversations in the future.
2. Acknowledge Your Achievements
When you accomplish something at work, don’t shy away from recognizing it. While it’s important not to come across as boastful, sharing your successes with your team or manager can be a healthy way to build self-confidence.
For example, if you successfully complete a project ahead of schedule, you might mention it during a team meeting. Over time, getting into the habit of acknowledging your own contributions will reinforce your sense of value and competence. This, in turn, encourages others to see your worth and recognize your efforts.
3. Fake Confidence Until It Feels Real
Even if you don’t feel confident initially, acting as if you are can gradually shift your mindset. Simple actions like smiling at your colleagues, maintaining eye contact, and walking with purpose can project confidence. This doesn’t only affect how others perceive you—it can also influence how you feel about yourself.
Additionally, dressing in a way that reflects both professionalism and your personal style can have a psychological effect. Wearing clothes that make you feel authoritative can contribute to a more confident attitude. The way you present yourself externally can have a profound impact on your internal state and how others respond to you, creating a positive feedback loop that boosts your confidence.
4. Practice Assertiveness Daily
Confidence is like a muscle—the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Look for daily opportunities to practice being assertive. It could be as simple as offering your opinion during a meeting or speaking up when you disagree with a decision.
At first, these moments might feel uncomfortable, but with repetition, you’ll begin to feel more natural expressing your thoughts and ideas. The key is consistency. Regular practice in low-pressure situations will prepare you for more challenging ones.
5. Reflect on Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Developing assertiveness doesn’t mean you need to act like you have everything figured out. True confidence involves knowing where your strengths lie and being honest about areas for growth. Take time to reflect on your recent tasks, conversations, and interactions. Where could you have contributed more? What areas need improvement?
For instance, if you’re great at problem-solving but struggle with public speaking, you can take steps to improve that skill. Being aware of both your strengths and weaknesses allows you to approach situations with a balanced perspective, boosting your confidence in the areas where you excel while working on the ones that challenge you.
6. Don’t Let Unfair Criticism Hold You Back
Not all feedback is helpful or constructive, and learning to dismiss unfair criticism is crucial to maintaining confidence. If someone offers negative feedback that isn’t based on facts or feels overly harsh, try not to let it get under your skin.
For example, if a colleague makes a baseless comment about your work performance, remind yourself of your achievements and avoid dwelling on it. Instead of ruminating, focus on the constructive feedback that will help you grow, and let go of the rest. Wasting energy on unfounded criticism can undermine your confidence, so it’s best to focus on what truly matters.
7. Speak Up and Share Your Ideas
Being assertive at work involves making your voice heard, especially when your perspective or ideas could add value. Confidence is not just about having good ideas, but also about expressing them. Instead of waiting for someone to ask for your opinion, take the initiative to share it.
However, this doesn’t mean you always need to speak first. Sometimes, it’s more strategic to listen to what others are saying, then build on their ideas. This approach can help your thoughts gain more traction, as they’re presented in a way that complements or strengthens the discussion.
For example, during a meeting, you might wait for two or three people to offer their input before jumping in with, “Building on what Sarah mentioned, I think we could also try…” This method not only shows that you’re paying attention but also positions your ideas as a natural extension of the ongoing conversation, increasing the chances they’ll be received positively.
8. Learn to Say No
Another key to being assertive is the ability to say “no” when necessary. This is especially important when you’re asked to take on tasks outside your job responsibilities or when you’re already stretched thin. Declining additional work doesn’t make you selfish or uncooperative—it’s about protecting your time and ensuring you can give your best to the projects you’re responsible for.
For instance, if a coworker asks you to help with something that would overextend your workload, you can politely say, “I’d love to help, but I’m currently focused on other priorities. Maybe we can revisit this later, or I can suggest someone else who might be available.” This response shows respect while establishing healthy boundaries.
9. Avoid Being Aggressive
Assertiveness should never be confused with aggression. The goal is to express your opinions clearly and confidently, not to overpower or dismiss others. Aggressiveness can alienate colleagues and make it harder for your ideas to be taken seriously.
A good way to practice assertiveness without crossing into aggression is to stay mindful of the feelings and perspectives of others. Give your coworkers the chance to share their thoughts and practice active listening. This not only fosters a more collaborative and respectful environment but also encourages open dialogue where everyone, including you, feels safe to speak up.
For example, instead of saying, “We need to do it my way because it’s the best,” try saying, “I think this approach could be effective because… What do you think?” This opens the floor for discussion and signals that you’re confident in your ideas without being dismissive of others.
10. Focus on Respect, Not Popularity
In a professional environment, being respected for your competence and expertise is more valuable than being liked by everyone. While it’s nice to have friendly relationships with coworkers, the primary goal should be to earn their respect through your work, integrity, and leadership.
This is especially critical in leadership roles where you may need to provide constructive criticism or make tough decisions. For instance, you might have to give feedback that’s not well-received, but it’s important for the team’s growth and success. If you’re constantly trying to please everyone, you risk compromising your authority and effectiveness.
Remember, respect is built over time through consistent professionalism, not by avoiding difficult conversations. It’s okay if not every coworker becomes your best friend, as long as they recognize your value and trust your judgment.
11. Plan Your Words Carefully
Clear communication is at the heart of assertiveness. Whether you’re speaking in a meeting, addressing your manager, or collaborating with your team, taking a moment to think about what you want to say can make all the difference.
Before important conversations or presentations, outline your key points. Preparation not only helps you articulate your thoughts more effectively but also boosts your confidence. For instance, if you’re presenting an idea to your team, do some research beforehand. When you speak from a place of knowledge and preparation, your message will be more persuasive and you’ll come across as more credible.
In spontaneous situations, it’s also helpful to pause briefly before speaking. This gives you a moment to organize your thoughts, ensuring that your message is clear and concise, rather than rushed or scattered.
12. Eliminate Unnecessary Details
When preparing to speak, ensure your message is concise and focused. Get straight to the heart of what you want to say without including irrelevant details or tangents that could distract your listeners. Keeping your communication clear and on-topic helps others follow your train of thought and understand your main point.
For instance, if you’re explaining a project update, resist the urge to dive into every small hurdle you’ve faced unless it directly impacts the overall outcome. Stick to the essential points, like the current progress, challenges that need addressing, and next steps. Overloading your audience with unnecessary information can cause them to lose focus, making it harder for your message to stick.
13. Rehearse Your Ideas Out Loud
While you can’t prepare for every conversation at work, rehearsing your key points before important meetings or presentations is invaluable. An idea that seems perfectly clear in your mind may come across as muddled when spoken aloud. Practicing your delivery helps you refine your thoughts and ensure they are well-organized and easy to understand.
For example, if you have a proposal for a new team initiative, practice articulating it beforehand, either in front of a mirror or with a friend. This not only helps smooth out any confusion but also reduces the likelihood of using filler words like “um” or “uh” as you gather your thoughts. Filler words can make you seem uncertain, but rehearsing makes you sound more polished and confident.
14. Speak with Volume and Authority
How you say something is just as important as what you say. Speaking too softly can make you come across as lacking confidence or conviction, while speaking too loudly can seem aggressive or disrespectful. Striking the right balance is key.
If you naturally have a quiet voice, practice projecting it so that you can be heard clearly without shouting. For example, in a meeting, aim to speak loud enough so everyone at the table can hear you, even those farthest away. Practice speaking with a steady, assertive tone to ensure your ideas are taken seriously without overwhelming your audience.
15. Control Your Speaking Pace
The speed at which you talk can greatly affect how others perceive you. Speaking too quickly can make you seem nervous, while speaking too slowly might bore your listeners. A controlled, steady pace allows your audience to absorb what you’re saying and helps you sound more confident.
If you’re nervous about pacing, take a moment to pause for a sip of water or to gather your thoughts. Pausing not only gives you time to think but also helps emphasize key points. If you do a lot of public speaking, record yourself to analyze your pacing. This will help you identify if you’re rushing through important sections or dragging out others.
16. Stop Undermining Your Own Authority
Be mindful of the language you use, as certain phrases can unintentionally weaken your message and make you seem unsure of yourself. For example, saying things like, “I just think…” or “Maybe we should…” downplays the value of your ideas and suggests uncertainty.
Instead, be direct and confident in your statements. For example, rather than saying, “I just think we could try a different approach,” say, “I believe this approach would be more effective.” Avoid starting sentences with disclaimers like “I could be wrong, but…” or “This is just my opinion…” These phrases immediately signal doubt and can make others dismiss your ideas before you’ve even fully presented them.
How to Be Assertive at Work: A Summary
- Start Small – Build your confidence by starting with low-stakes situations, like addressing minor requests or issues before moving on to bigger tasks.
- Acknowledge Your Achievements – Recognize and celebrate your successes at work to boost self-confidence. Share accomplishments without coming across as boastful.
- Act Confident – Even if you don’t feel it, act confident by maintaining good posture, making eye contact, and speaking with assurance. Over time, this behavior will become more natural.
- Practice Assertiveness Daily – Look for opportunities every day to express your ideas, and practice speaking up, even in casual situations, to strengthen your communication skills.
- Reflect on Your Strengths and Weaknesses – Understand where you’re strong and where you need improvement, and focus on using your strengths while working on areas for growth.
- Handle Criticism Constructively – Learn to dismiss unhelpful or unfounded criticism and focus only on feedback that helps you improve.
- Speak Up – Share your ideas and opinions in meetings or discussions, and don’t wait to be called on. However, strategically build on others’ ideas to enhance collaboration and increase your chances of success.
- Learn to Say No – Protect your time and energy by saying no when you’re overextended or asked to do something outside your job role. Set healthy boundaries.
- Avoid Aggression – Assertiveness isn’t about dominating others; it’s about expressing yourself clearly while respecting others’ opinions. Practice empathy and active listening to foster a collaborative environment.
- Focus on Respect, Not Popularity – Aim to be respected for your professionalism and contributions, rather than trying to be liked by everyone.
- Plan and Organize Your Words – Think about what you want to say before speaking, especially in formal situations. Prepare and research to ensure your message is clear and confident.
- Be Concise – Get straight to the point and avoid unnecessary details or tangents that could confuse your audience or dilute your message.
- Rehearse Your Ideas – Practice your presentations or discussions to ensure your message is organized and free of filler words like “um” or “you know.”
- Speak with Confidence – Maintain a firm, clear voice without shouting. Practice volume control to convey authority while still being respectful.
- Control Your Pace – Avoid speaking too fast or too slow. Pause when necessary to gather your thoughts and emphasize key points.
- Avoid Undermining Yourself – Don’t use language that weakens your ideas, such as “just” or “maybe.” Speak with confidence and avoid disclaimers that suggest uncertainty.
