Today you’re going to learn how to be liked.
Building good relationships with people is one of the most important skills in life. If you want to learn some great techniques that will make people like you more, you’re in the right place.
How to Be Liked:
1. Smile
A smile is the best carrier of positive emotions. And do you know why? Because it shows others that you are happy. It also makes people want to feel the same way and subconsciously seek contact with you.
A great example of how positive emotions spread is a dog that gets excited when it sees you. Think of a moment like that from your own life. Are you smiling now just at the thought of it? Exactly! That’s how it works.
So greet everyone you meet with a smile. Chances are, they will be friendly to you in return.
2. Avoid Arguments
When you witness an argument, no matter what the dispute is about, try not to intervene. Don’t speak until both sides have finished. Instead, focus on observing and gathering facts that could help resolve and defuse the situation. Express your opinion only when you are asked to do so.
Don’t waste your time on arguments—it’s better to think about how to reconcile both sides.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you should give up your rights or always back down. When you must take a different stance, do so with tact and diplomacy. Let your approach be confident but free of emotional tension.
In emotional situations, people often say too much, which neither helps resolve the conflict nor makes them more likable.
By staying composed when talking to your opponent, you will demonstrate class. Regardless of the outcome, you will be the moral winner—especially if the other person loses control of their emotions.
Remember this the next time you have a disagreement with a colleague at work, your boss, or your partner.
3. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
People who can laugh at themselves are generally more likable than those who can’t take a joke. If you don’t get offended by a harmless joke at your expense, you’ll be a less attractive target for group pranksters. Those who lack self-distance often become the butt of jokes—perhaps because the “joker” finds more satisfaction in unsettling them.
Self-distance can be learned. However, if you were raised with an overly high sense of self-importance, it might take some effort. Of course, having self-respect is not a bad thing, and sometimes it’s worth speaking up when something bothers you. But in most cases, it’s better to just let it go. This mindset will save you a lot of energy and help you make more friends.
So next time someone calls you an “idiot,” just smile. Seriously. You can even nod in agreement—it will completely throw them off!
4. Show Interest in Your Conversation Partner
This is an essential way to win someone’s favor, especially when entering a new environment. It will also be useful when meeting new people—whether at the start of university, after moving to a new city, or beginning a new job. This approach even works with shy individuals.
How do you do it? It’s simple and consists of just a few steps:
- Approach someone and greet them with a smile.
- Say your name and briefly mention what you do.
- Your conversation partner will likely share their name in return, so follow up with: “And what do you do?”
- Find a common point of interest and continue asking questions.
- Keep the conversation going as long as your partner is engaged or as long as time allows.
Asking questions helps you get to know the person better, which naturally leads to greater mutual liking. The more topics you cover, the better. You might even discover shared interests—that’s the goal, right?
Here are some sample questions you can use:
- Where are you from?
- How long have you been working here?
- What do you like to do in your free time?
- What did you study?
- Is there a good gym around here?
- Where can you get really good food in this area?
- Have you seen that new movie? I wonder if it’s as good as they say.
Encourage your conversation partner to talk and show genuine curiosity—you’ll gain their appreciation in no time.
5. Let Others Get to Know You
If you show genuine interest in others, they will likely return the favor. As I mentioned earlier, conversations can reveal shared interests, which will bring you closer and strengthen their liking for you.
You can also gain someone’s sympathy by talking about your emotions or sharing a small secret. Opening up in this way usually encourages the other person to do the same. However, be cautious with what you reveal—at least until you get to know them better.
Also, remember that any secrets you share should be about yourself, not someone else. Revealing other people’s secrets is not appropriate.
6. Practice Small Acts of Kindness
Practicing small acts of kindness is simply a way of showing respect. Even though we don’t always talk about it, these little gestures are often deeply appreciated. They can also quickly earn you goodwill from others.
Make it a habit to follow these simple rules, and you’ll soon see the difference:
- Keep your promises.
- Be punctual for meetings.
- Use polite words like “thank you,” “sorry,” and “please.”
- Avoid using your phone during conversations.
- Refrain from frequently checking your watch—it might make your conversation partner feel like you’re bored, which is impolite.
This works both ways. If you want to lose respect, recognition, and likability quickly, do the opposite. You’ll soon be seen as someone who doesn’t respect others. And no one likes people who fail to show basic respect.
Moreover, fewer and fewer people pay attention to such small courtesies these days. By practicing them, you will stand out, and your personal brand will gain significant value. The respect you show through these simple gestures will naturally increase others’ appreciation for you.
7. Be Engaged (Support Others)
People who are engaged and supportive are generally well-liked. Keep this in mind when working on a project with others who need encouragement. Show them your commitment and support—it’s an easy way to earn their appreciation.
And when morale drops, instead of complaining, be the first to say:
- You’ve got this / We’ve got this.
- If not us, then who? We can do it.
- Just one more task to go.
- Let’s finish this part first…
Of course, being supportive isn’t just for project work. You can apply this mindset in everyday situations whenever the need arises. People appreciate being valued and encouraged in whatever they do. Keep this in mind when someone around you feels like complaining or starts doubting themselves.
Summary
Being liked is a skill that can be learned. All it takes is a little of your time, some willingness, and a bit of effort.
By becoming more likable, you’ll make your life easier. You’ll achieve much more in less time and with fewer personal resources.
If you want to reinforce what you’ve learned from this guide, revisit it from time to time—perhaps once a month. Knowledge that isn’t reinforced fades quickly, but what is repeated stays with you for years.
