If you want to know how to end manipulative relationship, you’ll love this article.
Getting out of a manipulative relationship can be much more difficult than staying in it.
You won’t be able to start enjoying life on your own terms until you part ways with the other person, even if you think you don’t have the courage to leave the relationship or that your partner can’t cope without you.
If you really want to end the relationship, you need to plan ahead, execute your strategy and follow it. The most crucial aspect is gaining the courage to do it.
How To End Manipulative Relationship
1. Admit that you are being manipulated.
Because the person being controlled or manipulated is in denial that something is wrong, many controlling or manipulative relationships last much longer than they should.
You may believe that your spouse is just a little explosive or needy, when in fact they are gradually taking control of every area of your life.
2. Make a list of all the reasons why you should leave.
When you discover that you are in a controlling or manipulative relationship, think about how much better your life will be when you get out of it. This will encourage you to leave and start devising escape strategies.
Write these arguments down to keep them in your mind and convince yourself that you need to leave as soon as possible if you want to enjoy your life again.
3. Make a list of what you will say.
Keep it short and simple so that the other person doesn’t try to argue with you, beg you to change your mind or promise to change or do anything you want them to do to stay in the relationship.
You don’t need to give a million reasons for leaving or a list of all the ways in which the person has let you down; doing so will just make things harder.
There is no point in being spiteful or accusatory. Your partner will become even more emotionally disturbed by this.
When delivering this message, try to remain as calm as possible. Don’t shout, don’t cry, don’t walk around in circles. Even if you are in great pain internally, remain calm. Your partner will notice that you are easily influenced if you are visibly upset.
Once you have decided what you want to say, practice it. This will make you feel more at ease.
4. Think about how you communicate it.
When dealing with someone who is unstable or controlling, how you deliver your message is crucial.
The most important thing to remember is that if this person is aggressive in any way, or if you are really afraid of their reaction, you should deliver the message in a public place where you feel safe, and bring a friend with you if necessary.
If you don’t want to confront the person, simply write them a letter or send them an email. If you are afraid to talk to someone face to face, communicate it in any other way.
However, once you have decided to end the relationship, you should act quickly and in a timely manner. Don’t end a relationship if you or your partner have been drinking alcohol or if you are in a difficult situation.
Choose a time when your partner is more likely to settle down, even if it doesn’t mean much.
5. Develop a strategy to get out of the situation.
If you live with this person or have just left a lot of things with them, you should think about how you will get them back. You can try to get them out before breaking up with this person so that you don’t have to go back to them later.
Have some friends come over and help you get your stuff back. This will make you feel safer and make you more likely to break up.
If you are living with the person, you should arrange to stay overnight before the breakup so that you are not stuck and tempted to go back.
6. In your mind, put an end to the relationship.
Tell yourself it’s really over before you say what you need to say, and start dealing with the natural loss that follows the end of an important relationship.
If you start thinking of yourself as a single person before you tell your partner, you will feel more confident saying what you need to say because you have already made up your mind.
7. Maintain self-control.
This is the most important factor to consider when telling someone that you are breaking up with them. Once you say it, there is nothing the other person can do or say to convince you to change your mind.
Prepare to walk away by saying the words you have rehearsed. Remember all these reasons why you should leave, even if the person is crying or seems to regret their mistakes.
8 Keep the conversation to a minimum.
Don’t procrastinate about giving in to your partner’s emotions or make a list of forty things they’ve done to ruin your life.
The less time you spend explaining yourself, the less likely your partner is to argue or point out mistakes. Remember, this is not a negotiation.
Say your piece and then walk away.
9. Keep a safe distance.
Don’t let them try to touch you, embrace you, or just get you into the trap of staying in the relationship (1). Stand or sit away from them.
If the person tries to take your hand, you may be tempted to be with them again instead of doing what you had in mind, which is to walk away.
10. Don’t allow yourself to be influenced.
It is extremely likely that your partner will try to manipulate you after the breakup if you were manipulated during the relationship.
Don’t let the other person use their emotions to influence you, to convince you that you will never find someone else. Or bribe you with all the things he can do for you if you stay, whether it’s getting married, buying a house, or enrolling you in anger control courses.
Remind yourself that you are leaving the relationship because you are fed up with this behaviour. It’s not going to work on you anymore.
11. Don’t make it obvious where you are going.
It may be obvious that you are staying with your parents or at a friend’s house, but don’t say anything about it.
Allowing that person to follow you to get you back, or even stalking you, is not a good idea.
12. Take a step back.
Just leave after you have said what you wanted to say. If you have a buddy waiting for you in the car or accompanying you, walk out with him.
Don’t turn your back to get one more sympathetic look at your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend; he or she has made you feel miserable and useless, and you are beyond that.
Keep your head high when you walk out the door, never looking back.
13. Avoid eye contact with the person.
Do not allow the person to contact you, text you, Facebook you, or even show up at places you are likely to be.
Talking to this person will make you feel more confused and hurt, and the situation may escalate. Don’t be fooled if someone claims they just want to talk or that they miss you; your ex will do everything in their power to get you back.
Take a friend with you and do it in a public place if you need to talk to the person for any reason, such as to retrieve more of your belongings or to find out something practical related to shared property.
If you have a lot of mutual friends, you will need to cut contact with that person for a while. Even if it involves lurking for a while, don’t go to places where you know your ex will be.
14. Resist the urge to change your mind.
It is normal to feel sad and lonely when you are away from your significant other.
If she had full control over your life and now you’re on your own and have to make your own choices, it’s natural to feel unable to cope with even the simplest of decisions and to feel completely alone and overwhelmed.
But that’s exactly how your ex is supposed to feel: like he can’t imagine life without you.
Continue to convince yourself that things will get easier – they will.
Remind yourself that you were doing just fine on your own before the relationship, and that you can be that person again.
15. Spend time with family and friends.
While it’s important to take some time to reflect on your own after a breakup (2), this is not the time to do it exclusively that way.
Instead, rely on your friends and family for support and spend as much time with them as possible. Even if going to a party is the last thing on your mind, push yourself outside and try to have some fun.
Spending a lot of time alone after leaving a manipulative or controlling relationship can make you more likely to want to get back with your ex.
Your support system consists of your friends and family. Talk to them about how awful the relationship was; having them validate your feelings can make you feel stronger.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You may have lost touch with close friends because of a dominant partner.
Simply acknowledge that you made a mistake by excluding your friends from your life and that they should welcome you back.
16. Take care of yourself.
You will never be able to get over a relationship if you spend all your time sulking in your room or watching TV alone in the dark.
Take care of yourself by socialising with friends, following your passions and immersing yourself in your work or studies. You may even discover new interests to pursue on your own, which will give your life more purpose.
Just get out of the house if you have anything to do. Even if you’re just reading alone in a coffee shop, it will help you feel less lonely.
Develop a weekly schedule. Allow time for contemplation, but make sure you have something to do each day.
Think of it as a chance to do something you never got around to doing with your ex. Maybe he despised something as basic as sushi or going to the movies; do whatever you want with those things.
17. Think about how happy you are now.
It may take some time, but over time you will notice how much better you feel on your own and away from a bad relationship.
Think of one thing you can do now that you are not in a relationship, every night before you go to bed. You can even make a list of all the ways that will improve your life and how wonderful it feels to have control over your own behaviour and thoughts.
Review this list or repeat all the reasons why your life is better than ever. Give yourself time and you will realise that being brave and making the right decision has paid off.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about how to end manipulative relationship. I sincerely hope its contents have been a good help to you.