In this new article you’ll learn how to encourage a friend not to give up.
You want to be there to support and encourage your buddy, whether they’ve just split up with their significant other, are depressed, or are attempting to lose weight.
While you don’t want to go overboard with your support, just being there for someone may be quite motivating.
How To Encourage a Friend Not To Give Up:
1. Make physical touch.
If you learn that someone is going through a difficult time, whether it’s a divorce or breakup, an illness, or the loss of a loved one, reach out to them as quickly as possible. People who find themselves in difficult or crisis situations frequently feel isolated.
Make a phone call, send an email, or text if the individual is across the nation or far away.
You don’t have to say that you’re aware of their difficulties. Being there for them, asking how they’re doing, and showing your support may be a tremendous help to someone who is going through a difficult time in life.
While you shouldn’t simply show up at someone’s door unexpectedly, paying them a visit might be beneficial. This is particularly crucial if they have a chronic disease that prevents them from leaving the home.
2. Pay attention to them without passing judgment.
People must relate their tales in their own time, particularly if they are through a crisis. Of course, you’ll have an opinion on their condition, but it’s not always essential to offer it, particularly if it’s uninvited.
Concentrate on your buddy and provide them with someone to confide in while they go through the recovery process.
If you have been in a similar situation to your buddy, you should provide advice based on your previous experiences.
You may inquire if they would appreciate your counsel, but don’t be shocked if that isn’t the case.
3. Provide practical assistance.
Instead of giving advice, you may give practical assistance. For someone who is trying to deal with a stressful circumstance, this may make a significant difference. Even little actions may have a significant impact.
Help them out with various duties, such as food shopping, cleaning their home, and taking their dog for a walk.
When a person’s life is falling apart, the most fundamental chores are frequently the first to go.
4. Allow your buddy to process their feelings at their own pace.
Emotions associated with painful life transitions (sickness, death of a loved one, divorce or break-up) usually occur in waves. Your acquaintance may be dealing well with the shift one day and then utterly disintegrate the next.
In the face of their emotions, keep your discomfort to a minimum. Strong emotions, particularly from someone you care about, may be difficult to deal with.
But keep in mind that this isn’t about you.
This is about a buddy of yours who is going through a terrible moment. Ascertain if they are at ease enough to express their emotions in your presence.
5. Volunteer to be a shoulder to cry on.
Make sure your buddy understands that you are available to support and assist them.
While it’s beneficial to have more than one support buddy for your friend so that the burden isn’t solely on your shoulders, make it a point to be one of those friends.
Make it clear to your buddy that they are not bothering you. Say something along the lines of “If you’re unhappy or overwhelmed, give me a call! I’d want to assist you in dealing with these difficult circumstances. “
When it comes to breakups or divorces, this is very crucial. When they need to contact their ex, they contact their support friend.
6. Encourage your companion to stick to the fundamentals.
The essential activities of life tend to be neglected when someone is going through a traumatic life event. This is why individuals who are sick or mourning a loss, for example, often forget to eat, stop caring about their looks, and are less inclined to leave the home.
Remind them to take a shower and get some exercise. The easiest method to accomplish this is to invite them out for a stroll or to take them out for coffee so that they have to put effort into their appearance.
To persuade them to eat, it’s a good idea to bring food over so they don’t have to handle the cooking and cleanup.
You can also take them out to lunch (or have them order in if they don’t want to mingle with other people).
7. Do not take control of their lives.
While many individuals have the best of intentions when it comes to assisting someone who is going through a difficult time, your assistance might be overwhelming.
You may also deprive them of their authority. Feelings of helplessness might arise at times of divorce, sickness, or the loss of a loved one.
Ask your buddy where they want to eat and when they want to eat instead of simply taking them to supper.
Allowing them to make choices, even if they’re tiny ones, may help them restore their control.
Spending a lot of money on them is not a good idea. It’s one thing to take them to have their nails done for cheap, but spending too much money on them will make them feel like they owe you and that they can’t take care of themselves.
8. Look for yourself.
When a friend’s life is in crisis, it tends to bring out all sorts of emotions in you as well. This is particularly true if you’ve gone through anything comparable to their situation.
Define your limits. Even though you want to be there for your friend as they work through their difficulties, you must make sure that your life does not become centered on them.
Recognize the actions and events that set you off. If you’re dealing with a buddy who has just fled an abusive family and has had to deal with it before, you may want to take a step back.
9. Check in on a regular basis.
People have a propensity to be quite concerned about someone just after their life falls apart, but that concern fades as time passes.
Make certain you don’t do it.
Make sure your buddy understands they can call on you if they need anything, and that you’re aware of their progress.
10. Recognize depression’s symptoms.
People aren’t always sad; they may just be going through a tough period in their lives.
However, if a buddy begins to display indications of despair, you should pay careful attention to ensure that the situation does not worsen.
Do they seem gloomy, worried, or empty all of the time? Do they exude despondency or pessimism (nothing will ever get better; life is a nightmare)?
Do they experience a lot of remorse, worthlessness, or powerlessness feelings? Are they tired and drained of energy? Do they have trouble focusing on tasks (1), recalling information, or making decisions?
Have you experienced insomnia or excessive sleeping? Have they gained or lost a lot of weight? Are they agitated and restless?
Have they mentioned or discussed death or suicide as a possibility? Have they attempted or spoken about attempting suicide? This might be shown by their stating that the world would be a better place if they were not here.
11. Validate their suffering, but don’t linger.
Keep in mind that their anguish, desperation, and helplessness are genuine. Confirm that they are experiencing unpleasant emotions, and then do your utmost to divert their focus away from them.
Distractions may help depressed people. You don’t have to be very apparent about the distraction. If you’re out on a stroll, pointing out the beauty of the light on the river or the color of the sky, for example, might change the discussion.
Repeating the same unpleasant sentiments might actually make matters worse since it encourages a depressed person to stay in that bad mindset.
12. Don’t take their sadness personally.
Because of their circumstances, people who are depressed frequently find it difficult to connect with others on an emotional level. They will have a more difficult time reaching out if they take it personally.
A sad individual may strike out at you and say something harsh or furious. Remember, it’s the depression, not your buddy, who’s saying these things.
This does not imply that you must accept their abuse.
If your buddy is becoming abusive and despondent, they should get professional therapy. You’re unlikely to be able to assist them other than by promising them that you’ll be there for them after they’ve stopped hurting you.
13. Don’t underestimate the severity of depression.
A chemical imbalance in the brain is often connected to depression. It’s about a lot more than being sad or depressed. A depressed individual may feel as though they are being engulfed by sadness or emptiness.
14. Volunteer to assist with little tasks.
Cleaning the home, washing the dishes, and going to work may all be quite tough when you’re depressed. It may have a big impact to do little things to help them.
People who are depressed spend the majority of their time fighting and getting eaten up by their mental illness.
That doesn’t leave much energy for chores around the home.
Bring them a beautifully prepared supper every now and again, or offer to assist them clean their home. Inquire if you may accompany them on a stroll with their dog.
15. Be a sympathetic listener.
Depression is a difficult condition to overcome. Giving someone a listening ear rather than a lot of advice or thoughts on what they’re going through might be more beneficial.
16. Always keep in mind that you are not their therapist.
Even if you’re a licensed therapist, you shouldn’t practice on a buddy, particularly if it’s not during business hours.
Being there for and listening to someone who is depressed does not imply that you are responsible for their mental condition.
If your buddy calls you in the middle of the night while you’re trying to sleep, or speaks about suicide, or appears to be trapped in the same miserable spot for months or years, they should visit a therapist instead of you.
17. Encourage your pal to get treatment from a professional.
You can give a friend encouragement and support, but you can’t provide them with the professional assistance they need, and you can’t make a friend’s despair go away by sheer willpower. This is a tough talk to make, but it is necessary if you care about your buddy.
Inquire whether they’ve ever considered or sought professional assistance.
Recommend helpful resources or a competent expert if you know of one.
18. Recognize that depression is cyclical.
Depression isn’t something that happens once and then goes away once a few pills are taken. Even if your buddy finds the proper medicine, it might be a lifetime battle.
Don’t abandon them. Depression may be very lonely and isolating, and it may make a person feel insane. It may make all the difference if they have individuals who support them.
19. Define your own limits.
Of course, your buddy is important to you, and you want to do all you can to help them recover. You must not lose sight of yourself when assisting others.
Make sure you’re looking after yourself. Take a break from the sad individual. Spend time with folks who aren’t sad or who don’t need your assistance.
Remember that if you aren’t receiving (or haven’t had) a reciprocal connection from this buddy, the connection may become abusive and one-sided. Don’t be drawn into a scenario like that.
20. Do not inform them that they must reduce weight.
You are not the boss of anybody except yourself, and telling a buddy they need to lose weight is impolite and may result in your friendship being terminated.
People will make their own choices, and they must be allowed to determine what they need for themselves at some time.
Even if their weight has become a health issue, this is true. They’re likely to notice that there’s a problem, and they’ll take action if they want to.
21. Participate actively in their weight-loss program.
When a buddy is determined to lose weight, they will need the assistance of their peers. Find out as much as you can about the food and fitness routine they’re following if they’re willing to share.
22. Concentrate on what they’re doing well.
It is not your responsibility to keep track of their progress.
Don’t pay attention to how they’re doing, what they’re eating, when they make a mistake, or anything else until they directly ask you to. You aren’t enforcing a diet. You’ve come to encourage and support them, not to criticize them.
Celebrate the little successes and the accomplishments (2).
When they don’t do anything correctly, don’t criticize them. It is not your responsibility to advise them to get in shape if they consume incorrect foods or neglect to exercise.
23. Recognize accomplishments along the way.
Make sure you congratulate them when they’ve dropped weight or increased their workout routine. Make sure that these gatherings aren’t only focused on and concentrated upon food.
Take them to the movies, treat them to a manicure, or purchase that new book they’ve been eyeing.
24. Focus on the person rather than the diet.
Don’t concentrate on the diet, what they’ve done, or where they’ve fallen short when you speak with them.
Instead, inquire about how they’ve been doing (as a person), their dog’s well-being, their education, and any recent changes at work.
Remember: this is your buddy, whether they succeed or fail at reducing weight. Their lives shouldn’t be defined by how much weight they lose or how much weight they gain.
25. Don’t go overboard when it comes to being helpful.
It’s tempting to show someone how much you care by providing them with a slew of “useful” suggestions on how to improve things, as well as workout routines and weight-loss books. This should not be done.
It’s preferable to just inquire about what they need and be there for them rather than barging in where you’re not desired.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about how to encourage a friend not to give up. I sincerely hope its contents have been a good help to you.