If you want to know how to be more confident in yourself, you’ll love this article.
Confidence isn’t something you’re born with or something you wait for others to hand you. It’s a decision — one you make over and over, especially on the days it feels far away. The truth is, confidence is an inside job. But here’s the kicker: your behavior, posture, and even your wardrobe can be powerful tools to build it from the outside in. You’re not waiting for permission anymore — you’re already in the driver’s seat.
How To Be More Confident In Yourself:
1. Own Your Look
When you dress in a way that makes you feel good — not what you think others expect — something shifts. You walk differently. You hold your head a little higher. That’s not vanity; that’s alignment.
Try this:
- Spend a few minutes each morning putting yourself together. Not for anyone else, but because you deserve that attention. Wash your face, brush your teeth, do your hair — treat it like an act of self-respect.
- Wear clothes that feel like you. That might be a perfectly fitted blazer, or it might be your favorite vintage band tee. The key is: do you feel like you belong in your own skin when you wear it?
- Push your boundaries. Pick a day and wear something totally outside your comfort zone — not to look “better,” but to learn to feel good without relying on appearance alone. Confidence without a costume is the most unshakable kind.
Example: One person might feel bold and powerful in combat boots and a leather jacket, while another finds quiet confidence in soft colors and minimalist pieces. Neither is wrong — confidence isn’t a uniform.
2. Stand Like You Mean It
Your body speaks before you even open your mouth. So let it say something good.
Straighten your back. Relax your shoulders. Let your arms rest naturally instead of crossing them like a shield. Make your movements purposeful — like you’re walking somewhere worth going.
Science backs this up. Studies show that standing tall not only looks confident but actually makes you feel more confident. It lowers cortisol (the stress hormone) and boosts testosterone (the confidence hormone), even if you’re faking it at first.
Try this trick: Before a big moment — a meeting, a date, a presentation — strike a “power pose” for two minutes in private. Arms raised, chest open. It feels silly, but your brain doesn’t know the difference.
Example: Picture a violinist stepping onto a stage. She could walk out hunched and cautious, or she could stand tall, chin up, bow in hand like she owns the place. Which one would you believe in more?
3. Smile Like You Mean It (Or Like You Might One Day)
Smiling isn’t about pretending you’re happy — it’s about inviting warmth. A small, genuine smile can ease tension, make others feel seen, and put you in a better mood too. It’s an act of generosity.
Research shows that even forcing a small smile can lower stress and help regulate mood. You’re not faking it; you’re training it.
Worried about looking fake? Don’t grin like a game show host. Just soften your expression. Think of something or someone that brings you a little peace, and let that show up on your face.
Example: Think of a barista who greets you with a warm smile on a rough morning. Doesn’t it make you feel human again? Be that person for someone else — and watch your confidence grow in the process.
4. Meet Their Eyes
Making eye contact is one of the simplest ways to silently say, “I’m here, I see you, and I’m not shrinking.”
You don’t have to stare anyone down. Just look them in the eyes when they speak, nod when appropriate, and hold their gaze for a moment before looking away. It shows presence, curiosity, and respect.
Bonus: Eye contact doesn’t just help you appear confident — it actually makes conversations feel more rewarding. People will listen to you more closely and respond more warmly. It builds trust.
Practice it in small doses: Hold eye contact for just two seconds longer than you normally would. It will feel a little awkward at first, and that’s okay. Awkward is just your comfort zone stretching.
Example: Think of a job interview. The handshake might be firm, but it’s the eye contact that seals the impression. It says, “I’m not afraid of being seen.”
5. Show People You’re Open (Literally)
Body language speaks volumes, and it’s often louder than your words. Want to seem approachable? Start by making sure your body isn’t screaming, “Leave me alone!”
- Don’t fold into yourself. Crossed arms, hunched shoulders, or hiding behind your phone send the message: “I’m busy, go away.” Instead, keep your posture open. Let your arms rest at your sides, relax your jaw, and uncross your legs.
- Look up. Try this: next time you’re in a café or standing in line, put your phone away. Make eye contact with someone or smile at a stranger. Most people aren’t used to others being present — it makes a surprising impact.
- Take up space, gently. Lean back in your seat instead of shrinking into it. Let your hands move freely when you talk. Confidence doesn’t mean being loud — it means not hiding.
Example: Think about someone at a networking event who’s half-turned toward the wall, checking their phone like it owes them money. Now think of someone standing tall, relaxed, making casual eye contact with people passing by. Who would you walk up to?
6. Practice Holding Gaze (Without Getting Weird)
Making eye contact is one thing. Holding it? That’s next-level — and it doesn’t need to be awkward.
- Here’s a trick: look at someone’s eyes long enough to notice their eye color. That’s often just the right amount of time to make a solid connection without coming off as intense.
- Most people don’t like prolonged eye contact either. So if you’re feeling nervous, remember — they probably are too. Confidence isn’t being fearless; it’s being okay with a little discomfort.
- If you catch someone’s gaze and they look away first, don’t overthink it. Just give a small smile and carry on.
Example: Imagine you’re ordering coffee. You make eye contact with the barista, smile, and say thanks. That tiny moment builds trust. You’re no longer just another order — you’re a person. That’s the power of intentional presence.
7. Write Down What You’re Proud Of
When confidence is low, your brain has a funny way of only remembering your worst moments. So beat it at its own game — by writing down your best ones.
- List your strengths, talents, and good traits — even the small ones. Are you a good listener? Do you always keep your promises? Are you great at cooking scrambled eggs? Write it all down.
- Think about the compliments people give you — not just the generic ones, but the thoughtful things. “You’re so calming to be around,” or “I feel better after talking to you.” Those matter.
- Include things you’re proud of, even if no one else noticed. That time you comforted a friend when no one else did. When you kept going even though it was hard. These are signs of your strength, not just achievements.
Bonus Tip: Keep this list somewhere accessible — your phone, a notebook, or a sticky note on your mirror. Add to it regularly. You’re more awesome than you give yourself credit for.
8. Face What’s Holding You Back (and Question It)
Often, we let self-doubt win without ever examining whether it’s telling the truth.
Try this: Write down every reason you think you’re not confident. Anything from “I mess up in conversations” to “I’m not attractive enough.” Now, go through that list and ask yourself:
- Is this a fact or just a story I’ve been repeating to myself?
- Have I ever succeeded in this area, even a little?
- What would I say to a friend who thought this about themselves?
Example: You think you’re bad at public speaking. But maybe the last time you spoke up in class or at work, someone told you they liked your perspective. So the story you’re telling — “I’m bad at this” — isn’t the whole truth.
Confidence doesn’t mean never failing. It means not letting one moment define your worth.
9. Remember: You’re Not Alone in This
Here’s something we rarely admit: everyone has moments where they feel like they’re not good enough. Even the people you admire most have doubted themselves.
- Most people are too focused on their own insecurities to notice yours. The truth? Everyone’s playing their own highlight reel inside their head. You’re not being judged as much as you think.
- Confidence isn’t about being better than others. It’s about being okay with who you are without needing to compare. If competition motivates you, try competing with yesterday’s version of yourself instead.
- Next time you catch yourself thinking someone else “has it all together,” pause and remember: they have bad days too. They’ve failed, struggled, and felt lost — just like you.
Example: Think of someone you admire. Now imagine them walking into a party feeling like no one wants to talk to them. Hard to picture? That’s how you look to others — more confident than you feel. Don’t let your mind convince you otherwise.
10. Treat Confidence Like a Journey, Not a Destination
Confidence isn’t something you “achieve” and then check off your list like a chore. It’s something you grow into over time — and that means good days, bad days, and days where you feel like you’re back to square one. That’s okay. Progress is rarely a straight line.
Think of it like getting in shape. Some mornings you feel strong; others, it takes all your energy just to show up. The trick is showing up anyway.
You might not realize you’ve become more confident until you find yourself doing things that used to scare you without even blinking — speaking up in meetings, going to events alone, or setting boundaries. Growth sneaks up on you like that.
You don’t need to feel like you’re “there” yet. Just keep moving forward and trust that your effort is reshaping how you carry yourself — even if you can’t see it in the mirror just yet.
11. You Were Born With Confidence — It’s Still in There
As a baby, you didn’t hesitate to cry, laugh, or reach for what you wanted. You didn’t second-guess whether people liked you. That natural, unapologetic self-assurance was built into you from the start. What happened?
Over time, you were told how to behave, what not to say, how to “fit in.” That original self-assurance didn’t disappear — it just got buried under layers of judgment, comparison, and social conditioning.
But here’s the powerful truth: what’s learned can be unlearned. And that raw, instinctive confidence you had as a kid? It’s still inside you. You don’t need to build it from scratch — you just need to remember how to access it.
Try this: think back to a moment from childhood when you felt totally free, without trying. Running barefoot in the yard, singing loudly in the car, building a pillow fort. That energy — fearless, expressive, and alive — is still part of you.
12. Step Outside Your Own Head
Overthinking is the enemy of confidence. When your brain becomes a loop of “How do I look?” or “What if I mess this up?” you’re not present — you’re performing for an invisible audience that only exists in your imagination.
Get out of that loop.
One way to break it: shift your focus outward. Really listen when someone talks. Notice the color of the sky, the smell of coffee in the air, the texture of what you’re holding. Being present in the moment pulls you out of self-consciousness and brings you back to life as it’s happening.
Confidence lives in action, not analysis. So when your thoughts spiral, try saying to yourself, “Not now.” Then bring your attention to what’s in front of you — because that’s the only place anything real happens.
13. Dive Into What You Love — or What You’re Curious About
There’s something incredibly grounding about working on something just because it lights you up. Whether it’s drawing, climbing, fixing bikes, writing poetry, learning Spanish, or baking bread — doing things that interest you reminds you of your capability and uniqueness.
Even better? You don’t have to be good at it. In fact, embracing being a beginner at something teaches you to let go of perfectionism — and that is a major confidence builder.
If you’re looking for connection too, choose something social. Join a local improv group, take a pottery class, or try a community run. Sharing space with people who geek out about the same things as you is a fast-track to both joy and confidence.
One small win at a time, you’ll start to feel like someone who can do hard things, explore new paths, and have fun while doing it.
14. Start Talking to Strangers (Yes, Really)
Confidence doesn’t grow in isolation. It’s something you rehearse in the real world, and talking to strangers is one of the best exercises out there.
It can be simple — a comment about the weather to someone in line, a compliment to a cashier, a question to the person next to you on the train. You’re not trying to win an Oscar for small talk. You’re just reminding yourself that you can start a conversation and survive it.
And guess what? Most people are thrilled when someone breaks the silence. You’re not bothering them — you’re adding a spark to their day.
Example: You’re in a bookstore and someone picks up a novel you’ve read. Say, “That one kept me up until 2 a.m.” Boom — human moment. No pressure, no agenda, just presence.
You don’t need to turn every stranger into a friend. You just need to prove to yourself that you’re capable of reaching out — and little by little, that rewires how you see yourself.
15. Stop Saying Sorry When You Don’t Need To
Being able to apologize is a sign of emotional intelligence — but over-apologizing? That’s a habit that slowly chips away at your confidence. Saying “sorry” when nothing’s actually wrong makes you seem like you’re constantly at fault, even when you aren’t. It puts you in a position of lower status, like you’re asking for permission to exist.
Before you blurt out another automatic “sorry,” pause for a second. Did you actually do something that warrants an apology? Or are you just uncomfortable taking up space?
If you’re two minutes late to a Zoom call and you apologize like you just crashed someone’s car, it’s overkill. Try: “Thanks for waiting” instead of “Sorry I’m late.” Or say, “Appreciate your patience” rather than “I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.”
Language matters. “I’m sorry” should be used with intention — when you’ve hurt someone or genuinely made a mistake. Save it for those moments, and it will carry more meaning. Think of it like currency: don’t hand it out like loose change.
16. Accept Compliments Like You Mean It
When someone compliments you, they’re offering a gift. Don’t toss it aside like it’s something you’re embarrassed to have. Shrugging, deflecting, or laughing it off sends a message — not just to them, but to yourself — that you don’t think you deserve praise.
Instead, meet the compliment with a smile, make eye contact, and say something simple like, “Thank you, I really appreciate that.”
If it feels too vulnerable to just accept it, you can share a little context: “Thanks! I’ve been putting in a lot of work on that project.” Or, if you want to keep the energy going, return the compliment genuinely — “Thank you! And by the way, I really liked what you said in the meeting — it stuck with me.”
Accepting a compliment with grace doesn’t make you arrogant. It makes you grounded. Humility isn’t pretending you’re nothing. It’s knowing your worth and not having to downplay it.
17. Boost Your Confidence by Being a Source of Good
Want to feel more confident instantly? Make someone else’s day.
Compliment a stranger’s outfit. Hold the door for someone with their hands full. Tell a colleague you appreciated something they did. These small acts remind you that you have value — and that you’re capable of lifting others up.
It also creates a positive feedback loop. When you brighten someone’s day, they usually smile or thank you — and that moment of connection reinforces that you matter.
And you don’t need to force it. Find genuine reasons to give praise or lend a hand. Skip the sarcasm or passive-aggressive jokes disguised as compliments. Say something real: “You’re a great listener.” or “I admire how you handle tough situations.” Watch how people respond — and watch how it changes how you see yourself.
18. Cut Ties with People Who Make You Feel Small
You can be the most self-assured person in the world, but if you’re constantly surrounded by people who criticize you, compete with you, or subtly belittle you, your confidence will suffer.
Maybe it’s a friend who always turns the conversation back to themselves. Or a coworker who pretends they’re joking when they make you the punchline. Or even a family member who never has anything encouraging to say.
Here’s the truth: you don’t need to keep anyone in your life who makes you feel like a lesser version of yourself.
Your confidence needs space to grow — and that means being around people who see your worth and help you rise. Find those people. They don’t have to be perfect, but they should make you feel respected, energized, and encouraged.
And if you don’t know anyone like that yet, start by becoming that person — for yourself and for others. Your energy will attract the right kind of people over time.
19. Slow. Everything. Down.
When nerves kick in — whether you’re speaking in front of a group, navigating a social event, or just feeling self-conscious — the most common instinct is to speed up. Talk faster. Move quicker. Get it over with.
But that’s the exact opposite of what you should do.
Start by focusing on your breath. Take a long inhale, hold it for a second, then exhale slowly. That simple act sends a signal to your brain: We’re safe. We’re in control.
Then slow down your movements. Move with intention — like someone who belongs exactly where they are. Stand tall, make deliberate gestures, and take your time responding. This doesn’t just look confident — it builds confidence from the inside out.
You’re not rushing through life. You’re owning the moment.
The next time you’re in a stressful situation, try this mantra: “I move slowly because I’m not in a hurry to prove anything.” Confidence isn’t just about what you say — it’s in how you carry yourself.
20. Expect Things to Go Well — Seriously
Here’s a little secret: your brain is always listening to what you believe about yourself. If you expect to screw up, you’ll unconsciously start acting like someone who’s about to screw up — holding back, playing small, second-guessing every move. But if you start expecting things to work out, you’ll show up differently. You’ll try harder, take more initiative, and carry yourself with a quiet kind of belief. And people notice that.
Think of it like this: you’re standing at the edge of a diving board. If you expect to belly-flop, you’ll hesitate, flail, and probably… belly-flop. But if you picture a clean dive, you’re more likely to commit with confidence — and that commitment changes everything.
It’s not about magical thinking or pretending life is perfect. It’s about choosing to believe that you’re capable — that something good can happen — and then acting in alignment with that belief.
And no, expecting success isn’t “delusional” or “cocky.” It’s no less rational than expecting failure. If you’re going to invent a future in your head, why not make it one you’d actually want to live?
Start each project, conversation, or challenge with the mindset: “There’s no reason this can’t go well.” It changes your posture, your tone, your choices — and that makes a real difference.
21. Take More Risks — Especially the Small, Uncomfortable Kind
You can read every self-help book on Earth and still feel stuck if you never leave your comfort zone. Confidence doesn’t show up fully formed — it grows in the gaps between what’s familiar and what’s possible.
You have to take risks. Not reckless ones — but meaningful, manageable ones. Apply for the job you’re not “perfectly” qualified for. Strike up a conversation at that networking event. Post that project you’ve been hiding on your hard drive. Ask for feedback from someone you admire. These are the kinds of choices that stretch you.
And yes — some risks won’t work out. You’ll fall flat sometimes. That’s not a sign you shouldn’t have tried. It’s proof that you’re learning. Failure isn’t a threat — it’s training.
Ever met someone who just seems solid? Unshakable? Odds are, they’ve failed more times than they can count. But they’ve also made peace with it. They know that falling down doesn’t make you weak — staying down does.
So make it a rule: If it scares you just enough to make your stomach flip, and it aligns with your values — do it. You’ll survive, learn something, and come out on the other side a little more sure of yourself.
Confidence isn’t built in your head. It’s built in motion.
Summary:
Confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t — it’s a skill you build, moment by moment, through what you choose to think, say, and do. It’s less about being perfect and more about trusting that you can handle life as it comes. Whether you’re starting from scratch or just trying to strengthen your self-belief, here’s a practical breakdown of habits and mindset shifts that can help you grow into a more confident version of yourself:
Take Risks Regularly
Confidence is built by doing things that scare you just a little. The more you push your edges, the more those edges expand.
Carry Yourself Openly
Use body language that invites interaction — uncrossed arms, relaxed posture, and eye contact. Confidence often starts with how you physically show up in the room.
Hold Eye Contact Naturally
Making and holding eye contact (without staring) shows presence and interest. Most people are just as nervous about it as you are.
Know and Name Your Strengths
List the things you’re good at — skills, personality traits, past achievements, and the values you strive for. Revisit this list when you’re feeling off.
Challenge Negative Assumptions
Write down what you think is holding you back — then question it. Often, it’s not facts stopping you, just beliefs that don’t hold up under scrutiny.
Accept That Everyone Struggles
Even the most confident people have insecurities. You’re not alone. Most people are too focused on themselves to constantly judge you.
See Confidence as a Journey
Confidence isn’t permanent or linear. There will be great days and setbacks. Keep showing up — progress often looks invisible until it’s undeniable.
Unlearn What You’ve Absorbed
You were born with zero shame or self-doubt. Much of what holds you back was learned — and it can be unlearned.
Get Out of Your Head
Focus on the world around you, not just your internal thoughts. Being present makes confidence easier to access in real-time.
Pursue What You Love
Dive into hobbies or skills that genuinely interest you. Improving at something builds proof that you’re capable — and connects you with others.
Talk to New People
Confidence grows through action. Start conversations with strangers — a quick question or comment is enough to begin.
Stop Apologizing for Existing
Only say “sorry” when it’s truly necessary. Over-apologizing weakens your sense of agency. There are kinder, stronger ways to express empathy.
Accept Compliments Without Deflection
Don’t brush off praise — own it. A simple “thank you” is graceful and shows grounded self-respect.
Help Others Genuinely
Lifting someone else up reinforces that you have value. Acts of kindness — especially unprompted ones — can shift how you see yourself.
Let Go of Draining People
Surround yourself with people who make you feel stronger, not smaller. Your environment affects how you show up in the world.
Slow Down Under Pressure
Nerves often cause you to rush. Slow your breathing, slow your speech, and you’ll feel — and appear — more composed.
Expect Good Outcomes
Assume things will go well. When you expect success, you behave in ways that create it — it’s a self-fulfilling mindset.
