If you want to know how to improve self control, you’ll love this article.
Self-control is the cornerstone of personal growth. It’s your ability to regulate emotions, manage impulses, and make thoughtful decisions rather than acting on fleeting urges. It’s what helps you pause before speaking in anger, resist that extra slice of cake, or choose to exercise instead of binge-watching another series. And while some people seem to have iron willpower built-in, science shows that self-control is not a fixed trait — it’s a skill. Like a muscle, the more you train it, the stronger it gets.
In this guide, you’ll learn proven, practical strategies for building self-control so you can move closer to the person you want to become.
How To Improve Self Control And Discipline:
1. Find Your Why: The Power of Personal Motivation
Lasting change begins with a clear sense of purpose. You need to know not just what you’re trying to change, but why you care about changing it in the first place.
Instead of relying on external pressure or guilt, connect with internal motivation. Ask yourself: What will my life look like once I gain control over this habit? Keep your answers somewhere visible—on your phone’s lock screen, on a sticky note on your mirror, or scribbled in a journal you revisit daily.
Let’s say you want to cut down on social media usage. You might remind yourself, “I want to be more present with my kids,” or “I want to stop comparing myself to others.” These personal reasons anchor your effort when things get tough.
Try creating a “Motivation Map”:
- Top Benefits: More focus, better sleep, increased confidence
- Triggers: Boredom, loneliness, habit
- Replacement Habits: Read a book, call a friend, go for a walk
Rely on these reminders when you feel tempted. Motivation doesn’t need to be loud; it just needs to be real.
2. Break Big Goals Into Bite-Sized Wins
One of the biggest reasons people give up on building self-control is they try to do too much at once. Overnight transformations make for great movies, but in real life, sustainable change is gradual.
Instead of saying, “I’ll never eat junk food again,” try something like, “I’ll start by swapping soda for water at lunch.” This keeps the goal attainable and gives you quick wins that boost your confidence.
Let’s say you’re trying to cut back on late-night snacking. A small step could be brushing your teeth right after dinner. This minor action creates a natural stopping point for eating, without requiring a massive lifestyle overhaul.
Remember: progress beats perfection. Every small change you make is a brick in the foundation of stronger self-control.
3. Stay Compassionate and Keep Your Chin Up
Slipping up doesn’t mean you’ve failed — it means you’re human. Building self-control takes time, and setbacks are a natural part of the process. What matters is how you respond.
Rather than beating yourself up, practice self-compassion. Reflect on what led to the lapse and what you can try differently next time. Turn your journal into a tool for recovery, not punishment.
Imagine you’re trying to control impulsive spending, and one day you splurge on something unnecessary. Instead of saying, “I have no self-discipline,” try:
- “Today was hard. I felt overwhelmed and bought something to feel better. Next time, I’ll try texting a friend or going for a walk instead.”
Every misstep is a learning opportunity. Give yourself the same kindness you’d offer a close friend.
4. Build Self-Awareness: The Secret Ingredient to Lasting Change
You can’t control what you’re not aware of. That’s why developing self-awareness is so powerful when it comes to behavior change.
Start noticing patterns. What are the emotional or environmental triggers that precede the behaviors you want to change? Do certain people, situations, or moods push you toward impulsivity?
Let’s take the example of procrastination. Instead of simply trying to “stop being lazy,” ask yourself what’s behind it. Are you avoiding discomfort? Feeling overwhelmed? Scared of failure? Once you identify the true cause, it becomes easier to address the root rather than just the symptom.
Try a simple daily check-in:
- What emotion am I feeling?
- What behavior am I tempted to do?
- What’s a healthier response I could try instead?
The more clearly you understand yourself, the better you’ll become at navigating your impulses — and the more natural self-control will feel.
5. Remove Temptations Before They Remove Your Willpower
One of the smartest things you can do for your self-control is to avoid the fight entirely. When something tempts you repeatedly — whether it’s junk food, your phone, or binge-watching TV — the best move is to make that temptation less accessible.
If you’re trying to cut back on sugar, don’t stock your pantry with cookies “just in case.” If they’re in your cupboard, you’re planning to eat them — whether you admit it or not. No cookies in the house means no late-night sugar battles.
Trying to cut back on mindless scrolling? Put your phone in another room while you work or install an app blocker like Freedom or StayFocusd. Or go nuclear: uninstall the biggest time-wasters entirely.
Want to read more books? Move your phone charger away from your bed and leave a good novel on your nightstand instead. Make the good habits easy, and the bad ones a pain to access.
The bottom line: your environment either supports or sabotages your self-control. Stack the odds in your favor.
6. Use Deep Breathing to Defuse the Urge
When cravings strike, they feel urgent — like you need to act on them now. But the truth is, most urges pass if you wait just a few minutes. The trick is to make it through that initial wave.
One powerful tool: slow, deep breathing. When you feel an impulse coming on — to smoke, snack, argue, or scroll — pause. Sit down, place one hand on your stomach, and take long, deliberate breaths. Inhale through your nose for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for six. Do this for five minutes.
This simple breathing technique helps calm your nervous system, slows down your racing thoughts, and makes the urge feel less overwhelming. Think of it as hitting the “pause” button on your brain.
You might not always win the moment — but even delaying the urge weakens its grip over time.
7. Move Your Body, Strengthen Your Mind
Exercise isn’t just about muscles — it’s about mental discipline. People who exercise regularly tend to show greater impulse control, better stress tolerance, and more resilience in everyday life.
You don’t have to train for a marathon. A 20-minute walk, a set of pushups and squats, or a short yoga session a few times a week can be enough to improve your focus and reduce cravings. Even gentle movement increases blood flow to the brain and helps regulate mood — two key ingredients for making smart decisions.
Think of exercise as a way to “train” your willpower. Every time you push through discomfort — like finishing that last rep or going out for a walk when you don’t feel like it — you’re building mental grit that transfers to other areas of your life.
Plus, staying active gives you more energy to make good choices throughout the day. It’s a win-win.
8. Sleep: The Most Underrated Tool for Self-Control
It’s nearly impossible to exercise self-discipline when you’re running on fumes. Lack of sleep erodes your ability to think clearly, regulate emotions, and resist short-term pleasure.
Make sleep a priority, not an afterthought. Aim for 7–9 hours of quality rest per night. Turn off screens an hour before bed, create a calming wind-down routine, and stick to a consistent sleep schedule — even on weekends.
Think of it this way: when you’re exhausted, ordering greasy takeout or skipping a workout feels almost automatic. When you’re rested, it’s easier to make decisions that align with your long-term goals.
Good sleep also reduces decision fatigue — that feeling of being mentally worn down by too many choices. Instead of staying up late doomscrolling or overthinking, go to bed and let your brain recharge. You’ll wake up better equipped to handle anything the day throws at you.
9. Track Your Behavior to Stay Accountable
You can’t change what you don’t notice. Self-awareness grows when you start tracking your actions — especially the ones tied to self-control.
Try keeping a small notebook or using an app to log key behaviors. For example:
- Did I stick to my morning routine?
- How many times did I resist snacking today?
- Did I avoid distractions while working?
Journaling just a few lines each day about your wins and setbacks can help you spot patterns. Maybe you always give in to cravings when you’re stressed at work. Or maybe scrolling increases when you’re bored in the evening.
Once you see the pattern, you can plan for it.
Apps like Daylio, Habitica, or Reflectly can help make tracking easy and even fun. Think of your journal as a progress report from your future self — a record of how you’re slowly but steadily becoming more in control.
10. Be Kind to Yourself When You Slip
Nobody has perfect discipline — and trying to chase that will only leave you frustrated. You’re not a robot. You’ll get distracted, tired, bored, emotional. That’s life. Real self-control involves knowing how to bounce back after you fall, not punishing yourself for stumbling.
Instead of berating yourself for skipping the gym or stress-eating that whole pizza, try saying, “Okay. I see what happened. What was going on with me in that moment?” Treat each failure as feedback, not a final judgment.
Let’s say you planned to study for three hours but ended up watching YouTube instead. Rather than spiraling into guilt, ask: Was I mentally drained? Was I avoiding something difficult? The more curious (and less judgmental) you become, the easier it is to learn and adapt.
Remember: beating yourself up doesn’t create more discipline — it creates shame. And shame kills motivation. Grace, not grit, is what makes self-control sustainable.
11. Redirect Your Energy Into Something Positive
When you feel the pull of an old habit, don’t just sit there and battle it — redirect it. One of the smartest ways to manage impulsive behavior is to do something else, something that aligns with your goals or calms your mind.
Trying to quit doomscrolling? Every time you feel the urge to reach for your phone, grab a sketchpad, solve a puzzle, or go water your plants instead. If you’re fighting the urge to argue with someone, take a walk or journal your thoughts instead of firing off a reactive message.
Let’s say you’re trying to stop online shopping out of boredom. Instead of browsing Amazon, pick a creative task — like building a playlist, organizing your photos, or watching a documentary. The key is to have a few positive fallback options ready when the urge hits.
Distraction isn’t avoidance — it’s strategy, especially when what you replace the habit with helps you grow.
12. Build Mental Tools to Pause Impulsive Thoughts
Impulses come fast. That’s why one of the best things you can do is create a little space — just enough to choose a better response.
Start by identifying the common traps: What are the specific behaviors you’re trying to change? When and where do they usually show up? What thoughts or feelings usually come first?
For instance, maybe every time you feel socially anxious, you impulsively cancel plans. Or every time you’re overwhelmed at work, you escape into video games. Once you see the pattern, you can pause the cycle.
One powerful tool is the “5-second rule”: when you notice the urge, count down from five and do something else. Go get a glass of water. Open your notes app and write one sentence. Literally change your posture. These small interruptions give your thinking brain time to kick in before your reflexes take over.
It’s not about never having impulsive thoughts — it’s about learning to pause, reflect, and redirect.
13. Involve the People Who Care About You
Self-control gets a whole lot easier when you’re not doing it alone. Talk to the people in your life about your goals. Tell them what you’re working on and ask for their support — not to micromanage you, but to stand beside you.
Maybe you ask a friend to text you every morning as a reminder to hit the gym. Or you ask your sibling to keep the snacks out of sight in the pantry while you’re adjusting your eating habits.
Trying to spend less money on takeout? Let your roommate know, and cook a simple dinner together once a week. Building new habits is way easier when someone else is cheering you on or joining you in the effort.
Sometimes, just knowing someone is rooting for you makes all the difference when your willpower is fading.
14. Celebrate Progress (Not Just Perfection)
Discipline without reward becomes a grind. Your brain needs to feel the payoff of self-control — not just in abstract goals, but in tangible moments of joy or satisfaction.
So give yourself something to look forward to. If you manage to avoid stress-eating for an entire week, treat yourself to a massage. If you stay consistent with your morning routine for a month, buy that new hoodie you’ve been eyeing. Even something small like a lazy Sunday afternoon watching your favorite show can feel like a meaningful reward.
Let’s say you’ve been sticking to your plan of socializing more often. After a month of meeting people weekly, maybe you take a short trip with friends or throw yourself a mini party to celebrate the win.
The point isn’t to bribe yourself into better behavior — it’s to show your brain that self-control leads to pleasure, freedom, and pride. That positive reinforcement keeps the momentum going.
Summary:
Improving self-control isn’t about being perfect or rigid — it’s about building habits that support your long-term goals while understanding your emotional patterns. Anyone can strengthen their self-discipline with the right mindset, tools, and support. Here’s a breakdown of the key strategies for developing stronger self-control in daily life:
- Find Your Motivation
Understand why you want to change. Keep a clear list of personal reasons and revisit them often to stay focused. - Set Realistic Goals
Don’t try to overhaul everything at once. Start small, make your goals concrete, and allow gradual progress. - Maintain a Positive Mindset
Expect setbacks and don’t be hard on yourself. Reframe slip-ups as learning opportunities and celebrate your efforts. - Increase Self-Awareness
Pay attention to what triggers your impulses. Journaling and emotional check-ins can help you understand your behavior patterns. - Remove Temptations
Create an environment that supports your goals. Eliminate or avoid the things that commonly lead you off track. - Use Breathing to Manage Urges
Practice deep, focused breathing when a craving hits. This calms your body and delays impulsive action. - Exercise Regularly
Physical activity strengthens not just your body, but also your willpower, mental clarity, and emotional regulation. - Prioritize Good Sleep
Being well-rested helps you resist temptation and think clearly. Sleep is foundational to emotional and cognitive control. - Track Your Behavior
Keep a journal or use an app to monitor your successes and challenges. Self-tracking helps build awareness and consistency. - Forgive Yourself
You’re human. Self-control isn’t about perfection — it’s about persistence. Accept mistakes and move forward. - Redirect Your Urges
Instead of just resisting impulses, replace them with constructive actions — like going for a walk, exercising, or creating something. - Challenge Impulsive Thoughts
Anticipate high-risk situations and develop mental strategies to pause and reflect before reacting. - Lean on Your Support Network
Talk to trusted friends or family about your goals. They can remind you of your intentions and hold you accountable. - Celebrate Milestones
Reinforce progress by rewarding yourself when you reach key goals. Positive reinforcement makes the new behavior stick. - Seek Professional Help When Needed
If you’re dealing with addiction, harmful behaviors, or emotional overwhelm, talk to a therapist. Asking for help is a form of strength, not weakness.
In short: Self-control is a skill — not a personality trait. It can be developed gradually through self-awareness, healthy habits, supportive environments, and compassion for yourself.
