This new article will show you everything you need to know about how to be less annoyed with people.
There are two main sources of annoyance with people. Either the person is doing something very annoying to the vast majority of people (in most cases) or the person is doing something completely normal, such as breathing, and it annoys the other person for some reason.
Finding a technique to deal with either scenario is beneficial to your attitude and, most likely, your health.
How To Be Less Annoyed With People:
1. Take a deep breath.
Deep breathing through your diaphragm can really lower the tension in your body. Count to 10 carefully and calmly. Imagine you are on a beach. Let the sound of the waves and birds soothe you from within.
Allow the salty air to caress your face and relax you. Use the most relaxing memory of an event to focus on: the feeling of a loved one, the memory of an accomplishment, or the joy of being free from responsibilities.
2. Let go of preconceived notions about how people should act and what they should do.
This phase is all about controlling expectations. We have preconceived notions about how others should behave and what they should do, and we get irritated when they don’t meet our expectations.
While expecting people to be fundamentally nice is a noble goal, it can lead to frustration and even dissatisfaction. There is another way to accomplish this:
Set modest expectations for yourself. Don’t lose hope in people, but don’t expect them to amaze you with good manners, caring, or nice compliments.
You’ll be happier when people impress you when you don’t expect too much from them. Setting realistic expectations is a big part of being less irritated.
3. Ask yourself: “What’s in it for me?” or “What do I gain from being irritated?”
Probably not that much, if you think about it. Maybe you think you are better than the other person.
But do you really want your identity to be defined by what other people do or by what you do? If you define your identity based on what you do rather than what other people do, it will be much stronger.
4. Don’t be afraid to stay silent.
When someone upsets us, we often experience such a strong feeling that it is hard not to react. This is when we say or do something awful that we shouldn’t.
For example, yelling “Stop it!” or “Shut up!” Most of the time, our outbursts exacerbate rather than alleviate the problem. After taking a few deep breaths, calm down and think about whether it’s worth your time to respond. Chances are it isn’t.
Of course, if a colleague has just finished a sexist tirade, saying something like, “Steve, I don’t think comparing women to cows in that way is appropriate” is definitely a good idea.
On the other hand, if a colleague has just finished making the same joke to you for the hundredth time, depriving them of the gratification of a response will most likely benefit you in the long run.
5. Pay attention to what you say with your body language.
Anger and contempt are shown through frowns, stares, and other unattractive body language. They are also contagious, so if they come out in front of a person who bothers you, that person is likely to get angry as well.
Things can get out of hand quickly. Keep a cool, controlled manner as much as possible, not revealing anything that signals you are annoyed.
6. Accept the best-case scenario.
Instead of assuming that the obsequious person is trying to annoy you, accept the fact that they have no idea what they are doing. Most people are not trying to annoy you; they are probably unaware that what they are doing is disruptive.
To put it another way, they are probably lost in their own world and may not even see you. Remember that you think of yourself more than anyone else—this applies to everyone.
7. Don’t worry too much about the small details.
On a plane, you are disturbed by a small child; a man talks loudly on his cell phone; and at home, your partner keeps asking you the same question. All of these are small details. In the long run, they don’t matter.
Learning to let go (1), to stop worrying about the little things, and to focus your limited energy and resources on the things that are truly important to most people: friends, family, health and safety, novelty, adventure, and lasting memories, can greatly improve the quality of your life.
Accept the things you won’t be able to change. You can change your own appearance, wall color, and home decor, but you can’t change another person. Focus your efforts on the things you can influence, and those around you will surely appreciate it.
8. Stop trying to convince everyone.
There will always be someone who doesn’t understand you or thinks negatively of you, no matter who you are or what you do. It is foolish to try to win over people who are indifferent or hostile towards you.
It annoys you that you can’t get everyone to like you as much as you think they should. This desire is harmful because it stems from a selfish motive.
Someone hates you, no matter who you are. It is difficult for him or her to see you as a full human being, whether because of your skin color, religion, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status. Overcoming prejudice is possible, but it happens rarely and never happens quickly.
Prove such people wrong by doing what you want. To counter ignorance or prejudice, the best thing you can do is forget about them, get on with your life, and lead by example.
Show them what a great person you are. Just live your life instead of shoving it in their face. The people who don’t notice this are most likely the ones who can’t be saved.
9. Figure out what makes you angry.
What makes you so upset? Is it something really annoying, such as a sibling making the same noise you’ve already paid attention to twice, or something innocent, such as someone breathing loudly?
If you’re annoyed by something minor, there’s generally an issue that you haven’t addressed, either with that person or with yourself.
When you are upset, change the way you think.
Instead of expressing your displeasure, be cordial and polite. Avoid being unkind or hostile, and instead try to strike up a conversation with the person who is bothering you (if they are doing something innocent).
11. Think of any advice you would like to give yourself.
Try this approach if you are angry with someone and don’t know why, or if you are frustrated by the fact that you are annoyed. Make a list of suggestions you would like to give to that person.
Suppose a person has made a joke about your friend, and you want to warn the joker to “be careful.” Instead of giving this advice to the other person, turn the situation around and determine if the advice applies to you.
Is it possible for you to be considerate of others? Is it possible for you to overlook a reckless attempt? Can you imagine how your buddy would take the joke? Sometimes the advice we are most willing to give to others is the same advice we should give to ourselves.
12. Recognize if your irritation may be a problem with you rather than with them.
It’s likely that the reason something or someone bothers us is because it reminds us of ourselves; we don’t want to think that’s who we are, so we stir up anger and rage to move away from that person or thing.
Is the reason you are irritated because the other person is thinking about something that is too personal for you?
13. Think about making some changes in your life.
Irritability may indicate that you are stuck in your comfort zone. Try changing something.
Change your bedroom furniture, read the works of writers who challenge your core beliefs, go on a foreign vacation. Changing anything in your life that takes you out of your comfort zone into uncharted territory can help you feel less irritable and more compassionate.
Anything that helps you grow and develop will tend to reduce your agitation with others. The more you learn about the world and better understand people’s motives, the less you will have high expectations of others. Low expectations are the key to happiness (2).
Thank you for reading this article about how to be less annoyed with people and I really hope that you take action my advice.
I wish you good luck and I hope its contents have been a good help to you.