If you’ve ever wondered, “why am I still single”, this article is for you.
What makes some people successful in relationships and others not? Ahead of you, a list of 28 reasons why this is happening, not otherwise. If you identify with most or all of the reasons I mentioned, stop worrying about it – just start acting.
This post is very long and I hope that it will read it to the end and understand some 2% of all readers. If you find yourself in these 2% – congratulations. You are just making a huge step towards your development in male-female relationships. I absolutely do not expect you to understand or even agree with me, reading all the reasons. Everyone is at a different stage of development in life and in relationships, so you may even question something – I encourage you to do it strongly, you can write your feelings or opinion in a commentary. Also, write down which reason is most important to you.
Why Am I Still Single? Reasons why you might still be single:
1. No attempt to understand the other sex
In my life I have heard sentences that sounded like this a thousand times: From men: “It’s just women, they do not think logically and they never know what they want” From women: “Eh, guys … You always have to baby them. Besides, they do not understand anything. ” Both sexes make the basic mistake, which totally undermines their chances of success in male-female relationships. They delineate the second sex immediately, treating it (more or less consciously) as inferior. Instead of treating the other side as a human being, we really like to generalize and evaluate someone just because they are of a different gender than ours. Maybe it is worth to start a change from oneself and make every effort to at least try to understand the other side?
2. Injures to the opposite sex
A classic story. They get to know each other, there is good between them, passion, love, excitement, romance and you could exchange it for a long time. Trouble arises when they part with each other. The piquancy is added by the fact that they have been together for a long time”All men are the same. Only sex in my head! ” “All women are the same. Only cash and social status in the head! ” The second reason, like the first reason, is to judge someone based on their gender or stereotypes. The difference between this and the first reason, however, lies in the fact that an injury arises here. After such a relationship, the abandoned side can start to see the opposite sex evil. There are even whole discussion forums where women ridicule masculine behavior and men make fun of women.
Maybe instead of competing in our lives, we will start cooperating? The fact that you once got a solid, mental kick from a woman who abandoned you and chose a better one (the other way round, when you are a woman and a guy abandoned you, works in the same way), does not mean that all mankind is angry and is looking for You. Injury to the opposite sex often arises unconsciously, which is why it is dangerous. Again, my question to you – what do you think, as a woman, about men? What do you think, as a guy, about women?
The more you hate the opposite sex, the worse it affects your relationships. Because you’re giving off some energy then, and that’s palpable. Maybe you’re dating regularly and nothing comes of it. Maybe you write regularly on dating sites and nothing comes of it. Maybe you meet new people regularly … And also a flap. You can not meet someone interesting. It is worth considering this because it may be the reason here
3. Lack of goals in life
Ambition. She was, is and will be the driving force of humanity. It is thanks to ambition that new technologies, businesses or wonderful buildings are created. Thanks to our ambition as humanity, we are developing at a dizzying pace. Thanks to ambition, athletes win gold medals at the Olympics. And you? How is it with you? Do you want to move the mountains or are you happy to win hills? “If you lie down, sit down, if you sit, get up, if you stand, start running” – I heard somewhere once and it inspired me very much. All the time ahead, in pursuit of your goals. But just – what are your goals? Think about what you want in life. You can ask – “what for?” I regularly read women’s opinions on the internet on various topics. Okay, I admit, not for different, I’m 99% focused on male-female relations. And regularly, when the subject of male ambition appears, women say that it can be known from a distance. You can sense a guy who is afraid to achieve something that is not satisfying with mediocrity. And they love it.
Maybe this is where your problem lies? If you are a woman and you are reading this – the situation looks exactly the same in the other direction. Attractive guys have a wide selection of women and I am sorry to announce the brutal truth – your wonderful, attractive and original look is not enough. There are many beautiful and wonderful women, especially in our country. It is very hard to find one that has ambition in life. I know, I know, maybe you have your goals and you do more than just “smell and look good” in life, thank you for that. But it is full of those that do not have and believe that if they look good it is enough. Because of that they lose a lot in dealing with guys.
4. Zero passion
Like an ambitious man, a happy person can also be found literally after a few minutes of communing with him. You feel his positive energy right away, you want to be in his company. This can give you a passion in life. Regardless of whether it will be a sport, passion for cooking, painting, singing or dancing samba with Brazil during the carnival in Rio – passion will regularly care for your state of happiness. See how you feel when you meet a person who has a lot to tell, often smiles and tells you about what she was doing recently, and how you feel after meeting someone who only complains about life and criticizes. When was the last time you did something for yourself? When was the last time you were really happy?
5. Continuous sitting at home
One of the main reasons why you have no success in male-female relationships. Sometimes it is not enough to start success in this area, and the vast majority is based on the fundamental issue: Just leave the house. Regardless of what you are doing and where you are. Ha, wise man, are you out of the house now? Work or shopping does not count, it’s about voluntarily leaving the house to get to know someone interesting. I know, fatigue can be felt, especially in the evening, sometimes you just prefer to watch a movie and go to sleep. However, if you really want to be successful in relationships – go out more often from home, it’s an absolute foundation that so many people forget about. Sometimes the simplest advice is the best. The more you need to know a person or experience something amazing, the more often you should go out. Just.
6. Lack of concern for the physical appearance
French fries, chips, salted nuts, sauces, ketchups, alcohols, sweets – who does not love it? Everyone will eat something from time to time, which they later regret. The real problem, however, is when this situation occurs at least a few or even several times a week. For this, the absolute lack of movement, as befits the XXI century, we are chained to a chair and a sedentary lifestyle. I wrote about the physical appearance in my book about attractiveness, I even gave specific exercises on how to look after my physical appearance, so I will not write here. Remember two things and put them into your life, and your life will change radically: a) Look at your life in the context of physical activity If it turns out that you are walking / running / doing any other sport less than at least 2 hours a week, then seriously think about changing your life in the context of movement. You lose a lot and you do not even realize it.
b) Try to regularly change unhealthy things into healthy ones. It will give you more than any diet. Do you love sweet? You know me, too? I only think and pay attention to how sweet I eat. I replaced bitter chocolate with bitter (If you compare how much sugar you have first and how much of the second, you will be shocked). In addition, I drink fruit and vegetable juices every day, then I have a guarantee that I will not have something sweet during the day. I am not a dietitian and I will not advise you on morals, but the facts are clear. Effect? Better skin, silhouette and most of all more positive energy during the day, but I will mention it later.
7. No new friendships
A derivative of leaving home. If you leave the house regularly, that’s good. The problem is, however, on another point: Who are you meeting when you leave this house? The same group of friends from elementary school, in the same bar and with the same beer? If you’re interested in male-female relationships and you want to stop worrying about your success, I recommend getting to know new places. In new premises you will find new people you can meet. Who knows, maybe this wonderful friendship will grow out of it. If you are not brave enough to talk to a stranger and get to know her, do not worry – find a group in your city on the Internet that organizes meetings regularly, for example in order to play a board game. The number of great people you can get to know in this way is unlimited. Perhaps among these people you will meet someone who you particularly like.
8. Waiting for love
A very, very, very harmful belief about love and what needs to be done to experience it in life. There are two approaches, most people choose the first and lose their lives, so I recommend you the second: Passive : I am waiting for love. The years pass. Nothing changes, I still did not meet a wonderful person with whom I could spend magical moments. But I’m still waiting. After all, love does not depend on me, she must find me in my life. Such people usually never find the person of their dreams, because they simply do not look for it. Active : I know that love has to be helped, that’s why I’m looking for it. I meet new people, their values and views. I’m developing. Sooner or later I will definitely meet someone with whom I want to create something more
9. Listening to the advice of people who do not know each other on male-female relationships
One of my favorite reasons for why people are unhappy in their relationships. It’s so dangerous and commonplace that it’s hard for me to talk about it seriously, so let me joke: Let’s say you have a problem with the kitchen tap. It leaks and you have no idea what to do about it. Hmmm … Can he call a policeman? It taps the tap in handcuffs and maybe in this way we stop the leak … Maybe a gardener? Flood the tap with soil and water it. Maybe it will work this way? Or call a doctor? Will examine the faucet with a stethoscope, write a prescription and ultimately win this fight with a leak? Are you surprised? Maybe you are laughing now, because the examples I have given are irrational?
And that’s how most people work in male-female relationships. Instead of going with your problem to a specialist who has at least several years of experience and solves all matters relating to male-female relationships, they often go for advice to my mother / aunt / uncle / grandfather or colleague. Undoubtedly, they have some experience in relationships, in the end they are in a relationship or at least some time ago they were in some way. However, in comparison with an expert who has solved dozens of cases similar to yours in life, they have little chance of making a good diagnosis of the problem, let alone solve it. It’s like you would like to use the services of a surgeon who carried out two operations in your life instead of who carried them into your life a thousand. Absurd, right?
10. Staying only in one company
I’ve mentioned your friends already, right? I deeply believe that they are wonderful and you love spending time with them, for sure you have your reasons. If, however, you have only one package in your life that you regularly see, you are completely similar to them, I can tell you even though I do not know you. Is it wrong? It depends. It is worth being in various societies to learn from different people, especially in relation to relationships. If you are in the company of eternal singles who are trying to find their second half unsuccessfully for a year now … Guess what? Do you think that it will be easy for you when you regularly listen to how difficult it is to find someone valuable today? It’s good to mix people around you. Everyone will give you a different point of view on relationships. Can you imagine what would happen if you suddenly (as a single) began to be in the company, where all of its members experienced a lot in male-female relationships, for example, have been in life in at least several relationships? They would certainly share their experience with you (if you would ask) and here we are
11. Lack of confidence
River theme. If I wanted to describe the whole issue of self-confidence, I would probably end up in 2039. However, I have a different, better solution – I wrote a whole series of articles about the fundamental principles of shaping confidence – you can find them on my blog. Link in the footer
12. Mimicking bad patterns from the environment
The biggest impact on our behavior and way of thinking has what is the most in our environment. In particular, I distinguish two factors that can be the cause of your problems to a large extent. a) Romantic films, media (paraduments, news), b) Family and friends. How many times have you seen a romantic comedy where a knight on a white horse brings scented flowers to a princess, and she declares to be with him for the rest of her life?
How many times have you seen popular paraduments on television that show toxic relationships? Probably at least a few, just like me. The worst part of all this is that we absorb and absorb everything like a sponge. It may seem to you that you do not transfer the behavior from the screen into your life, but sometimes we do it completely unconsciously. Recommendation? Limit the flow of negative stimuli in your life
13. Lack of willingness to develop
The relationship between men and women is so that everyone knows something about them, because one heard from a friend, the other was in a relationship, and the third one has behind him three marriages. The whole problem lies in our arrogance, because in this country many people consider themselves experts on relationships on the basis of individual cases, and consequently cease to be educated at all. Singles, tired of life, stop looking for the other half. Instead of learning new methods, look for knowledge about relationships and develop, give up. People in the relationship often think that they have eaten all the reason that they have won everything (because they are in a relationship), so they do not have to try. And from this point, the easiest thing is for betrayal of a partner or parting. When was the last time you found the time for yourself and devoted time to your development? On this, to know more?
14. Lack of energy
We are sluggish. Still so tired and overwhelmed with life. We blame work, family, world and everything that we can, except ourselves. You are what you eat. You must have heard it. I think that you are what you think and how you think. In addition to the food itself, as I wrote earlier, you can eliminate bad thoughts from your life. Oh, you should even. If from time to time you doubt yourself, nothing happens because everyone has such moments. Worse, when you think about a negative situation that happened years ago, and during the day you are constantly thinking about what you are failing and searching for reasons why the world is bad. By doing this you are constantly stressed, and then you are stressed that you are stressed, which has a destructive effect on your body. Appropriate diet, movement and catching on negative thoughts and making every effort to eliminate them – is a recipe for having a lot of energy. For energy, especially sexual, which is essential if you want to attract the opposite sex, I spoke in my book about attractiveness.
15. The conviction that “I know everything”
It even happens the best. I personally love the moments in which I think so, because later I convince each time how little I still know, which motivates me to continuous development. Especially, in male-female relationships. Maybe you think that I know everything, that since I am a coach of the relationship, I have eaten all my senses and now I proudly tell others what to do.
I have been exploring the secrets of male – female relationships for 6 years. Exactly in the summer of 2012, I watched the first video in this field when I had serious problems in my relations. The more I learn about them (And believe me, I devote a significant part of my life to them) the more I am convinced of how little I know about them. At the same time, I derive great satisfaction when I learn new things, because thanks to this I can solve my clients’ problems even better. If sometimes you happen to walk with a too upturned nose, remember, it is sometimes worth to go down to the ground;)
16. Constant scenes of jealousy
A typical problem in many relationships. We are fed with a lie that jealousy is sweet. In fact, I have not seen such a sweet poison yet – jealousy destroys relationships with the speed of light, and yet many people still believe that it is needed in a relationship. If your other half knows and feels that you are the object of interest of others, it is very good, because it means that you will be even more attractive to her. The problem is, however, that this should occur at the subconscious level. Something like “I need to take care of my relationship, because there are many people who would like to destroy it”, whirling from the back of my head from time to time. There’s enough that is enough. When this goes on, i.e. you deliberately show the other half how others are interested and strive for you, it may be the first step to break up your relationship.
17. Lack of developing a given relationship
First there is the first look and the first smile. Later on the question. Then a full-fledged conversation. Then meetings, kisses, moments of passion, until all this turns into something bigger, more wonderful – two people create a relationship. Everything has its turn. The standard relationship between women and men goes exactly like that, from which of course there are deviations. So why complicate things? If you only talked about, do not count on the moment you will spend passionate moments. If you’ve met twice, do not expect that the other side will be madly in love with you at this stage and will want to create something more with you (it happens, but it’s not a rule)
18. Fear of taking the first step
This reason why you have no success in relationships is closely connected with the previous one. Each relationship has a certain pattern. And every relationship starts with the first step. It does not matter at the moment whether you are a woman or a man. Thinking about a person who you like for days, weeks or even months (there are such cases, I have experienced such an experience myself at the beginning of my adventure with male-female relationships) will not make you be with her. Even thinking does not make that person know about your existence. So do something with it and take the first step. Maybe it will not work. Maybe this person will not be interested. Maybe there will be a hundred other reasons why you will not go out as you would like. However, so what? You have tried it and that’s what you deserve. Nowadays, very few people try at all, only assume in advance that they will not succeed. And if you do not check, you will not find out.
19. Waiting for a better opportunity and constant excuses
Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a better opportunity. Now I can not talk to him, because this boy is busy, he is sitting with friends. Now I can not talk to her, because we’re going by bus, you should not talk to strangers on the bus. I’m not talking today because it’s Tuesday. Today I will not come because it’s raining. How many times have you had this situation? How many times have you had such senseless excuses? Remember that life is running away. The sooner you start working, the faster you get what you want in male-female relationships.
20. Lack of patience
Some people complain – “I spend so much time on education about relationships, I enter into new and more serious relationships, and nothing more, I can not get to know anyone of value”. Men’s and women’s relationships is not a dinner, you need a maximum of one hour to prepare and you have a wholesome dish. When someone shares with me their fears or problems in male-female relationships and I see that he is a valuable person, and only lacks some patience, I always say: “Before you reach a satisfying level in male-female relationships starting from a total of zero, you will probably spartaczsz several or even several of your relationships. Such is the turn of things “. Once you make a mistake, once the other person, yet another time everything will be good, but something will break down on the way – it’s normal. As you begin to train a sport, you also need time to start achieving above-average results. Therefore, if at the moment you regularly educate on the subject of male-female relationships and most importantly – you test these methods in practice, your success, or getting to know a special person and creating an interesting relationship with her is only a matter of time.
21. Only one nature
There is an issue that very few people take, which is a shame, because it is crucial for the development of your relationships. I will not be surprised if you have never heard of it before, I wrote about it in my course for men, but this issue also applies to women. See, most people have only one nature developed: The guys are either specific, confident, confident alpha males or sensitive romantics who often talk about their feelings, love to talk and watch movies full of romance. In women, the situation looks similar. Either she is concrete, confident and knows what she wants or quiet, calm and caring Your task is to create two natures. As a guy – you show definitely and specific, but you can also talk about feelings and you are not ashamed of it. As a woman – you show that you are ambitious and have your passions, but also do not hide your sensitive nature, which you certainly have
It can also be divided into masculine and feminine nature – I recommend that you educate both of you, no matter what gender you are. If you want to be attractive to women, you need to have a feminine inside. Similarly, when you are a woman – to understand the psyche and behavior of men, you must have some male element inside. Without this, it will be difficult for you to build a conscious and happy relationship and get along with the opposite sex. The most difficult thing is to show the right nature at the right time. If you have hit the extremes so far, it is worth considering the other side and developing both equally. Thanks to this, the other person in relation to you will have everything he needs and is less likely to leave or betray you.
22. Relationship with the wrong person
There may be a situation when you are in a relationship and it seems that it is great, because in the end you create a relationship, but you are not really happy: Why? Perhaps you are with the wrong person. The fact that opposites attract is a myth. If we are talking about fleeting acquaintances, of course everything is possible and can work in the short term, but if your lifestyle is completely different, I do not foretell a good, satisfying relationship in the future. If you work all day, you do sport, read books, spend a lot of time developing and meeting people who inspire you, and she is lying on the couch all day and eating ice cream – this relationship and this woman will get tired of you sooner than you think . Perhaps you have already experienced it, if not, it is possible that you will soon experience it. The opposite works the same – if you are an ambitious and energetic woman, and you grow on your breast Janusz bubbling beer and staring at television every evening, sooner or later the bomb will explode and your relationship will be only memories, in addition not very pleasant.
23. Blaming others for their failures
Let’s explain something. I know, it may sound brutal, but my job is to show you the truth about relationships. Whether you have male-female relationships, what you want depends on … Note … Only from you. Absolutely no one else is responsible for being alone or having an unsuccessful relationship. It’s your choices and decisions that led to it, so please, stop blaming your family, your friends or your immediate surroundings. It is up to you what knowledge you have in the male-female relationships and it depends on you how you use this knowledge. Only. Taking responsibility for your own success in male-female relationships is the first step towards a better life in this field
24. Fear of what others will say
Both sexes have a problem with it, I have not yet met a person who would be 100% indifferent to what other people think about her. Women usually worry that they will come out easy. I will not talk because I will go out for easy. I will not write a text message because I will go to the easy one. I will not call because I will leave for easy. I am not saying that this is always the case, but the problem concerns quite a large part of our society. This, of course, does not mean that you do not have to care about your reputation at all – but it is worth having far away what other people will think about you, because it’s about you, your life and your happiness.
In men, the issue looks similar, they are afraid to be determined and confident in themselves, because they are constantly worried about what others will think. I will not talk because people are watching. I will not call her because she laughs at me. I will not write to her because I will go out to the needy. There is a wonderful book that I recommend to read to you, it is called: “What’s the most regretting dying”. The author has conducted many interviews with people close to death and described it in her book. Surprising fact – there is nothing like “I’m sorry that I did not play too much for the dictation of other people and I valued my needs too highly”. People rather regret that they listened too much to other people instead of listening to their heart and mind. They regret that they wanted to do many things and did not do them because they were afraid of what others would say. I hope that it will give you food for thought, though to a small extent.
25. The conviction that happiness in relationships is not for you
I once heard a very wise sentence when I was still a brat who blamed others for his failures. At that time I was angry with the whole world, that I was succeeding in others and not me. “You get what you think you deserve”. These were the beginnings of my conscious life, which I have been regularly filling up with knowledge and inspiring people since then, I am doing this until now and I will probably do so for the rest of my life. I wrote this sentence down even on the wall in the room, a long time ago. “You get what you think you deserve”. Look at you. In the mirror. Ask yourself a question, even speak out loud.
What do I think I deserve? You see, great relationships are for those who believe with all their strength that they are for them. Who believe that happiness in male-female relationships is achievable. A guy who believes he can have a wonderful, sexy woman and does everything to get one, sooner or later he will have one. A woman who believes she can have a great man and does everything to get one will have it. It’s all a matter of time. Maybe a few weeks. Maybe months. Maybe even years. However, as long as you believe that it will succeed, the battle continues. If you add a specific action to it, after some time you will be positively surprised by the results. If you grow your mind thinking that beautiful, intelligent and wonderful people are not for you, then … Guess what will happen? Nothing positive.
26. Continuous reading, instead of action
Maybe you actually know everything about relationships. You read books and articles every day, watch video guides of various trainers from Poland and other parts of the world. And the effects are still not visible. Why? You are suffering from the same disease that I and many of my predecessors have suffered from. Being a master in male-female relationships, but only in theory. You know how to meet new people, contact them and arrange to meet them, but in reality … You do nothing in practice. It’s the same as with diet – everyone knows that stimulants are bad and healthy vegetables, but who is listening? Those who have experienced the negative consequences of stimulants and noticed the positive effect of vegetables on health, will no longer change their decisions and permanently changed their habits. They nourish themselves healthy, they probably have an attractive complexion and positive energy beats them. However, only because at some point in their life they dared to experiment. They tried. And it worked
See, we are already at the flood of 26, through which most people do not achieve happiness in male-female relationships. How many of them did you see at home? And how many of them have you decided that you will change and you will stick to it, and consistently implemented in your life? Sooner or later you will have to check the acquired knowledge in practice. Otherwise, it will be like a school – you have learned a lot of things, and now you use 10% or less of it.
27. The vision of the perfect partner and the ideal relationship
The second last reason is false faith in creating the perfect relationship. Perfectionism that kills your relationships, because you’re sniffing every time your other half makes a mistake and you blame yourself cruelly when you make a mistake. There are no ideal relationships. There are no perfect people. There is no way you can not make mistakes in life. It’s so easy when you talk about it or write it, but somewhere out there we deliberately delude ourselves and we deceive ourselves that there are perfect people and we are frustrating ourselves for making mistakes. We believe that there is a person who will always understand us, who will always support us, with whom we will never have a disagreement and who will be 100% devoted to us. Unfortunately, this is just an illusion, because everyone has their own lives
28. Faith in myths about male-female relations
In male-female relationships, as in any other field there are many harmful, but common myths. A lot of this, right? I wrote this article for a few good hours, and I collected the individual reasons and analyzed them accurately for several long days. Everything so that you get a specific value. Therefore, if you see the value in it and think or feel that it can be useful to your friends – share this entry with them.