Today you’re going to learn how to deal with a telemarketers.
It should be remembered that a telemarketer is an ordinary person like us. You should be nice to him and not hurt his feelings – that is, behave like any other normal person. But what if he does not listen to us, is he aggressive, offensive and insolent? Then we have two options. Either hang up the phone or have fun at its expense. How to deal with a cheeky and aggressive telemarketer?
How To Deal With a Telemarketers?
1. In 10 minutes
Tell me you’re busy right now and call back in 10 minutes. If he calls you back, say that you are still busy and you need another 10 minutes. Do it every time you call. If after 10th time he rings again, say that you are busy because you are dead and ask if he would not accidentally kill himself to join you.
2. Ready recording
Prepare yourself a recording of the screaming child “Help, help !!! Give me back my money! ” Turn it on as soon as you know that you are dealing with a cheeky telemarketer and then hang up.
Say that you have to go to the toilet, put the phone as close as possible to the shell and then start alternating pretend to let go fart and rinse the water. After some time, the telemarketer will disconnect itself.
If the telemarketer is a man, ask him if he likes old ladies and play with them. If it is a woman, say that you do not have experience in these matters and ask if she could introduce you to the world of pleasure. If a same-sex telemarketer is a homosexual pretend. Have fun in a sex phone – coo, purr, use indecent words.
5. Tell me something
You can tell the telemarketer about your dog and his wonderful coat. Talk for a long time, repeat yourself, do not forget about the details of the story. If the telemarketer wants to get you in the word, “just a minute, this fur is really amazing …”.
6. Pretend to be a freak
Tell the telemarketer that you feel very lonely, undervalued, disliked and want someone to hug you. Start crying and screaming like a baby “mommmmyyyy!”
7. On gay
Ask him if he is gay. That it’s cool to be gay. That there are a lot of gays not to be ashamed. That your dog / cat is gay too. Tell him how awesome gays are and what wonderful life they have.
8. Listen and ask
Let the telemarketer talk for as long as he wants. Ask for everything, show a lot of interest. Find out all the details of the offer, compare all packages (if they are sold), praise the products offered by the telemarketer. Keep the conversation as long as possible. As soon as the telemarketer wants to go to finalize the transaction, pretend to be surprised that you have to pay him and not him.
9. Date of birth
Ask the telemarketer when he was born and read his horoscope (daily, weekly and monthly). If he listens, find another horoscope for him on a website or in a newspaper. Read it until it gives up talking to you.
10. Fun with a partner
Listen calmly to the telemarketer’s monologue and then suddenly say “Stop it! Not now. I’m talking on the phone. “, Apologize and let him keep talking. Start sighing and giggling more and more and then with a slightly panting voice say: “honey, it’s good …. do not interrupt, yes, yhmmm … “.
11. Offer something too
Thank the telemarketer for the offer and offer him your service. If you deal with, for example, forests, suggest afforestation of his garden – his and all his friends. Ask him to ask at work if somebody does not want a small forest or at least one tree on the plot. Replace a few species and suggest a species of tree just for him. Say that you have telepathic power and feel that it is the birch that matches his personality and that he must have it. Speak seriously and do not laugh at it. Be involved in what you say.
12. What is this company?
Once the telemarketer is introduced, ask him to repeat his name and spell. Then ask him to spell the company’s name. Ask for the location of the company – where is the head office and individual branches and branches. Ask also about how long the company already exists on the market, what is the share capital, how many people it employs, what is the motivational system of employees and whether employees are in marriages and how many children they have. Keep asking questions for as long as you need.
13. Good morning, we have beautiful weather …
If he asks how your day is going start telling about every detail of the day. For example, an alarm clock rang at 6 am. I really did not want to get up but somehow I got out of bed and went to brush my teeth. I washed it with Signal paste because I think it is the best, etc …
14. A terrible company
Ask which company is calling and express your deepest sympathy. Start making up some rumors about his company and company management plans in relation to all telemarketers (dismissals, lower wages, overtime etc.).
Let me talk to the telemarketer, wait for him to relax, then half way through his sentence, stop him and say, “You know what, in the end I managed to lower my cholesterol!” Let him continue to speak, then stop abruptly again and say: “but I’m really happy. It’s a merit of my new doctor. ” After some time, if he realizes that you do not listen to him at all, he will stop bothering you.