How to be happier person in life? How many times have you asked yourself this question? Probably not once you have thought about it. Very rightly because this question can be answered in a thousand different ways. In this article I will introduce you to creating your own happiness by achieving independence.
My way to happiness, also a reliable way of happiness in relationships is to achieve independence on three levels:
- Independence of thinking and acting
- Independence of relationships
- Financial independence
I will describe to you every kind of independence from the easiest to reach the most difficult one.
Independence of thinking and acting
Theoretically the easiest level of independence to achieve, however, in practice many people have a problem in this. If you are now a sad, depressed man, then I have a way for you how to be happy. Long-term and forever. However, first of all, I will give you food for thought in my style:
How many times do you do what others want? How many times do you submit to someone’s decision, even though you feel differently inside? How many times have you believed in a bujda, for a long time you chewed in the middle of yourself, then it turned out that the matter is really irrelevant?
What is it actually about?
Independence of thinking and acting is in short a focus on what is good for you and what you want to do with your life. In life you will meet millions of advisers who will disregard your needs and thoughts, because they will know better what is good for you. Tfu, they will not know it because no one knows. However, they will believe in it deeply.
And if you believe that they know better than you – Usually it will end badly, because you will act against yourself, which will cause disaster. You will not feel a fulfilled, happy man, because you will do what others do and you will think like others.
Recalling the whole example directly to the relationship between men and women; if you keep subordinate to someone (or you will do things that you do not want or you will think in a way that someone tells you), it will directly affect your state of happiness.
And if you are not happy, usually any potential person with whom you could create a successful relationship will notice and will not want to have anything to do with you.
How to be happy in this situation? Start thinking and act yourself. Analyze your thoughts and what you do every day. How much of these things do you like? How much do you actually do because you feel such a need within yourself?
Independence of relationships
Look now at your reports. How many of them do you have, because you must? In how many toxic relationships are you now? Perhaps you sacrifice yourself for someone, and he does not appreciate it, putting in your direction every now and then new demands? Maybe you have friends who pull you down and make you wake up in the worst, the most primitive part, but you are afraid to break these relationships, because you finally know each other for so many years?
Independence of relationships is a bit more difficult than the previous ones, but still feasible. I perfectly understand that sometimes you have to sacrifice and think about others – I am not suggesting you here closing only on your needs. Just look soberly at reality:
What friends do you have more? Those who make you happy or those who forever depress you?
What is your family like? Supports or humiliates you? If this is the first – why are you so rare with her? You have valuable people around you, so take care of them. If they humiliate you – limit contact or break it. I know it can be difficult. Instead, you can influence them, understand their point of view, so that meetings with them do not affect you negatively. Sometimes just a little bit of empathy, tolerance and understanding, to completely change your relationship with your family, both closer and further for the better. Think about it in the near future
Regardless of your decisions, which relationships you leave, and where you limit contact: Remember that no one can force you to meet him and like him. Do not be fooled by the fact that you do not want to stop contact because you know each other for a long time. In place of old friends there will always be new ones who will support you with a great deal of probability. If current friends are not able to understand your goals, needs or way of thinking, and even mock them and treat you with a distance, you do not have to put up with it. If you still have a problem with limiting toxic relationships in your environment, you are in a relationship that you do not want or you are wondering how to meet new, attractive and happy people that will infect you with positive energy, visit my blog, the link in the footer.
The most difficult of all these levels of independence. It does not change the fact that it is feasible, I will even say more – it is not very difficult.
Before you start to whine me that Poland is a bad country, politicians steal and people are envious and greedy – yes, yes, life is bad here, the sausage in the store is expensive, and you have to spend at least 3 salaries on elegant clothes.
Stop. Stop the flow of such thoughts and listen to what I have to tell you
In financial independence (according to my definition), it is not that you are a millionaire. It’s not even that you have your own business. You can work full time if you do not have to open your own business. The point is to stop being blackmailed by others by not giving you money. If you have stable employment, everything is okay. You probably live alone, which means you can take care of yourself. You know, there are always some defects, maybe sometimes you leave the house in rumpled clothes – I happen to do it sometimes. However, generally speaking, everything is fine.
Worse, if you are emotionally distracted and are constantly experiencing the fact that in a moment you may lose your job or someone else will cut off your source of income. If currently:
Parents keep you
Think as often as possible, what to do here, to become independent of them. There are two iron reasons for this
– You will stop being a parasite (Forgive sharp vocabulary, but sometimes I have to name things by name, eg if you are a student, 22 or 24 years old and live with your parents this situation does not look very bad, you spend a lot of time studying so it is still acceptable. Worse, if you’re closer to 30 or so, think realistically what you’re going to do, they will not live forever, the more they deserve a moment for all the hardships that have gone with you, not for constantly babysitting you in the form of offering money or cooking dinner and washing socks)
– You will become a self-confident, more attractive person, and the question of how to be happy in life will stop being troublesome. Why? You will know that you earn and make your own financial decisions yourself, which makes you simply a better person
You think that your work is one big bottom
Change job. Here you have the full right to complain: Bad country, lack of opportunity, etc.
That was a good excuse 20 years ago, when our country was not yet developed. However, currently, if you are reading my blog, it means that you have internet. And the internet is a mine of knowledge. All you need to do is move your butt and start to educate yourself. First, explore what you need to work. Look for additional knowledge – the better you will have the competences, the more you will earn. Of course, you are still talking about raising the current salary, but do not worry about it – there are hundreds, if not thousands, of articles and videos on how to negotiate. All you have to do is want it.
I know it is difficult. I know that there are a lot of people who have better. I know you have had and you have a hard time in life. You only know what? I also have. Everyone has their problems, challenges, demons, which they must face. You can feel sorry for yourself and you can get to work. I leave the choice to you. Nevertheless, achieving calm about your finances will make you happier because you will not constantly worry about this money.
And if you are not independent – is there a way to be happy without being independent?
Probably some exists. Anyway, it will be much harder for you to achieve happiness without being independent in your life, let alone for male-female relations. If you constantly subjugate someone. and you think the way he makes you think, then others see it. Attractive women are not interested in a guy who does not have his own opinion and constantly accepts the opinions of others as his own. Attractive guys are not interested in women who are looking for a babysitter in their lives who will be babysitting them because she can not decide or even think on her own. Your choice, what you will do with it
Similarly, on the level of independence in relationships – if you sweep through the mood and energy of negative people all day long, this negativity will pour out of you on a date with another person. It will probably be your last date – no one likes complaining.
If you are not financially independent and still do what you can not stand (I repeat it again – you do not have to be a millionaire or even have your own business – you have to be happy with your work first) you will probably still be addicted to your parents. Job satisfaction means commitment. And if there is commitment, then usually there is an increase in competence – for the higher competences, others will be able to pay you more.
The article can be hard to digest. I am well aware of this, my dear. It is not my goal to depress you, after all the article is about how to be happy. It only shows you what will pave you the way to happiness. It only needs to be concrete and persistent.
Do not implement everything immediately, because you will be discouraged quickly. Take one plane, write on a sheet of paper as it looks more or less in your life and what is to be improved. Then, how are you going to do it.
How to be happy, will you ask again? Take a deep breath now and exhale. Slowly, let it last for a few seconds. And another one. Again. You can even close your eyes after reading this article and sit for 5 minutes, freely and slightly breathing.
Think about the end of the year. If this year was not good for you, you have to do everything to make the next one better. A plan of action will be useful here. Everyone wants it to be good, but a small handful of people are able to plan it and with determination take on this challenge. In any case, I wish you the best.
Thank you for reading. If you notice any value in this – share it with your friends on Facebook. Help them. Thanks to that they will be better people and you will benefit directly from it.