In this new article you’ll learn how to ask someone on a date for the first time.
Once upon a time, somewhere in a distant galaxy … No, it was not there. It was here on Earth. Yes, I remember correctly. Then half the world turned upside down … Gaining new knowledge about how important is the interest in male-female relationships, I found a video called “Strategy of meeting appointment”
What?! How is the strategy? This is not done naturally, do you need to develop strategies? What am I a war tactic? I do not need it there, pfff, a guy will teach me. Strategy … What a dumb idea. I watched the video with skepticism. And after trying the proposed method in practice … I thought about one thing: “How could I be so stupid and not use it before? It works! And nobody told me about it before. Eh, life ”
Of course, after some time of using this strategy, I discovered its advantages and disadvantages, which is why I developed my own view on dating. Meeting. From today, there are no dates for you unless you are in a relationship. Then you can arrange a date. You dress elegantly, in the end you have to show that you are the right man for her (Even if you are together for a long time!). And she dresses so that you can not stop looking at her so that you can not stop listening to her. Just like the first meeting with the person you care about.
Why do I suggest you make an appointment, not a date? You will find the answer after reading the entire article. I will present to you today a simple method of how to make an appointment, regardless of whether you are a woman or a man. The issue of arranging is a bit different in both cases, so I will give separate paragraphs for both sexes. Skeptical? I understand you perfectly, so read and try this method in practice. See how it works for you.
How To Ask Someone On a Date For The First Time:
Meeting – Self-presentation is the key!
Maybe you think that arranging a meeting is a normal matter. You call, write an SMS or talk about it live and that’s it. You want to meet and the dialogue looks like this. “Hey, I’m calling you to make an appointment.” “Cool, no problem, I’m free tomorrow at 14. Does it suit you?” “Yes, wonderful. That’s until tomorrow, hello “Hi”
Each of us wants it to look like that. And to a large extent this is how it looks in relation to people we know a little longer. However, we are interested in contact with people you just met. The first impression is extremely important. But I pay your attention – Even if you made a staggering impression, you do not make much money using the conversation model described above. Not enough emotion in it, and too much predictability.
If you want, check it out yourself. Call a newly-met person, make an appointment in this way. I once thought I could do it. Well, hello, it’s a normal thing, we get to know each other, it’s obvious that there must be a meeting. Unfortunately, this way of thinking will give you some suffering, because you will often get a refusal. Especially from the person you really like and the whole conversation comes to your stress before you fall out.
You may have been dating in a similar way and rarely ever did it. I am already telling you why: When you meet a new person, she does not know anything about you. Maybe you’re a serial killer? Maybe also a serial, bore? A person who has no friends and the question “When you have time” you answer – “Always.” You always have time for everyone, you are predictable and a stranger. Who wants to risk so?
That is why we come to a simple rule. Just as there are exceptions to each rule, they are very rare here. But you will check it yourself if you want. During any relationship with the person you care about you can not show too much interest in the startup, too much intrusion. You will be filed immediately as a person who is boring, always has time for everyone and almost needs a meeting. We do not like such people as people. We are looking for someone special. Someone who is hardly available, who is busy. We want our future partner to be special, right? Then we appreciate even more the time that he spends with us.
If you show your interest too quickly and you want to meet from the first second of the conversation, whether it’s an instant messenger or a live chat, it will definitely reduce your attractiveness in the eyes of the other person. So what to do? What does the model look like that you can use?
Meeting – How to make an appointment with a woman
So you have a number. And if you do not have a number, write to Facebook (I recommend a phone call or text message, but if you do not have a candlestick you can be facebook.) Finally, you lose nothing when you fail to make an appointment and you can gain a lot if you manage to do it) . Why? Telephone contact is more special. Your friend has several hundred friends on fb, while only a few have telephone contact. It’s worth showing off from the first moment as someone special, not the first one. Already at the start you have a bonus that will make your relationship easier.
Suppose, however, that you have and call. You start a conversation. “Hey Kate, I wanted to make an appointment with you …” No. No. And again not. If you want to win a gold medal in boredom, you can do it. But if you’re on this site, I’m counting on you wanting to meet girls you met + who you like in addition. Logic indicates it, right?
So you call. She receives. Personally, I like to refer to the context that connected me and this girl during the meeting. So you say. About whether he remembers what has happened to you. About whether she remembers how she was overflowing with beer when you sat at her in the bar. About whether he remembers this funny guy who passed by you.
You bring positive atmosphere and energy. You remind her that you are an attractive guy with whom you have a good time. You talk about it a moment, then you can ask what he is doing now. She tells you, you listen, you can throw in a joke, you ask questions. Now it’s your turn, you tell what’s up. And here’s the note. Make a little effort. She does not really want to hear that you’re lying upside down all day and you’re actually bored and that’s why you called to make an appointment with her. If your life really looks like that, it’s time to change something.
You can tell that something funny happened to you today. Or that you just finished reading an interesting book (Wow, a guy who reads books? Well, it can not be, what an ideal!). You show yourself from the attractive side, the right self-presentation is the key, because you are at the stage of getting to know each other. Do not treat a phone call only as an appointment, because it will have disastrous consequences. What else, when you know each other longer, then there is no problem to call, talk a short time and make an appointment. She already knows you, so you do not have to show how wonderful you are at every step. But at the beginning it is crucial, otherwise she will recognize you as an average guest and end the conversation or say that she can not meet because she is busy washing her hair.
Do not get me wrong. It is not that you would tell her loyally that you have just hunted a lion, in a moment you will go to the desert to run a marathon, and Johnny Depp will come to you for dinner because he needs a clue as to how to be a better actor. Do not lie . It will come to light sooner or later. It’s about presenting you who is attractive. You certainly do something interesting in life. Maybe you have an interesting passion, maybe friends like you because you can always help them. Take advantage of it and show yourself from the good side. Each of us is doing both interesting things, as well as everyday, everyday ones. What you show her depends on the result you will receive. Either she wants to meet or not.
– Enter positive energy. You do not have to admire every word you say, but smile and speak in a pleasant way. Yes, you can hear it on the phone. Especially women who are masters in non-verbal communication. Just a positive attitude to the conversation will give you a lot. Even if you are stressed, smile and you will see that a lot will change.
– Before you suggest a meeting, talk for a moment. Build the atmosphere, remind her that you are an interesting person who is worth exploring. We want you to be positive about it. But for that to happen, you really have to be like that. Do not complain, do not waste, just talk and listen with interest.
If you are too stressed, it is because you pay too much attention to meeting her. You think that if she does not agree, the world will die. Meanwhile, your favorite relationship coach (He points to himself) has been getting a thousand times in his life. And what? I live, I am writing this article. Through these refusals, I’ve learned enough in life to get them less often and achieve what I want.
If you stop paying attention to the result, you will notice that you will become more calm and this will positively affect the entire conversation. I emphasize once again – A woman can judge by phone whether you are tense, relaxed, smiling or joyful. It is worth being aware of that
How to arouse interest in your person? Talk for a moment. I do not like artificial time of conversation, but be careful not to fall into extremes. The conversation for two minutes will end up rather unsuccessful. And when you talk an hour, you show that you do not have anything interesting to do (Besides, you’ll take interesting conversations about which you could talk to her at a live meeting, there is no point in doing so).
I suggest you talk for 5 to 15 minutes, but this is not an artificial boundary. See, try what’s going to work for you. What should the proposition look like? No unnecessary philosophy, but it is worth remembering two factors: 1. Never suggest a text like “I will call you again and then we will arrange a meeting” Instead, put it clearly and concretely. “I have time on Tuesday at 18, suits you?”
If you receive texts in the style – “I do not know”, “We’ll see”, “Maybe I will be busy”, etc., do not take it, because the woman is simply not interested and is looking for excuses not to meet you. the more you try to “force” this meeting, the more your level of attractiveness decreases in her eyes.
On the other hand, it may also be that she has plans for that day. Normal matter, then say: “No problem, it was just a loose proposition. So when it suits you? ” And here is the situation. You get an answer when, so you make an appointment and get settled. If the games described above appear, you can smile and say firmly, “Okay, so speak up if you want to meet.” We smoothly move to the second factor:
2. Do not convince her to logic. Do not say that it will be wonderful to meet, do not press on it. If she is not interested, give her peace, or maybe she will speak to you in a while. May not. Life. In what situation would you not be – Consider what the reasons were. Maybe you bored her during the conversation. Maybe she said you were not interested in her. Smile and go further through life, there is nothing to break down. It is not always your fault that you did not make an appointment. Maybe she had a bad day, maybe her hamster died – There could be thousands of reasons. Regardless of the circumstances – Draw conclusions to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Therefore: – Specify specifically. Do not end your conversations like “We’re guessing yet” – If you see any resistance, it’s usually because the girl is not interested in you. – Do not convince her logically to how cool your meeting will be, so you only go out to the needy guest, no one likes to stay with you.
Meeting – How to make an appointment with a guy
Well, my dear. It’s time for you. The situation is less complicated for you, because it’s usually the guys who call, the guys are trying to keep in touch and the guys are responsible for maintaining the relationship. But after all, I have some tips for you. Whether you apply them depends only on you. Just be aware that even when you think you know everything, sometimes you can be very disappointed.
Well, at the beginning. Limit playing games. I’m serious. Sometimes you need a bit to show that you are not easily accessible, but think about it, really. If the guy calls once, then he writes an SMS, then he rings a second time – In the end he will be discouraged. I have met with the situation on the discussion forum many times, where a woman full of despair laments that no one wants to date her, and later it came to light that every time someone tried, she responded with texts in the style of “I do not know”, “We guess yet” (After which she did not give any contact), “We’ll see” etc. Especially when we talk about an attractive guy, but you want one, right?Attractive guys are not different from attractive women, i.e. they have a choice. But they can show that they care. So if you refuse him once, he may not offer you again, be aware of that.
Another issue is throwing the logs under your feet. Yes, I know, maybe you do not do it, but a large part of women do (Relationships between girls and men is a topic I devote to many hours per week. If it was not a problem, I would not write about it)
You need to know that a guy is stressed when making an appointment with you, even if you can not see him after him. Especially when it depends on you. Therefore, it is really inadvisable to passively wait for what he will do. If you feel that he is stressed, help him. If you do not like the time it gives you, there is nothing to prevent you from entering another one. No, you will not go out to the easy one. Unless you suggest him a meeting three times a week, then that’s the option.
Should you suggest a meeting as a woman? And yes and no, it depends how much you know. If a little longer than a few real meetings, I do not see a problem. However, if you just met, invite him to invite you instead of inviting him. You can always end conversation with him (If you did not invite her during the meeting), with the words:
“You know what, now I do not have time, we can finish the topic when we meet”
It’s about directing him that you want to meet too. Remember, we guys often do not know if a woman is interested in us (This is due to poor knowledge of non-verbal communication, which is most of the guys in you). Therefore, a light verbal provocation can work wonders in this case. Therefore: – While the artificial showing of unavailability sometimes will come out for good, if you do it constantly, the guy will eventually be discouraged. – Help him to meet you instead of throwing logs at his feet and waiting passively for his suggestions.
You’ve got tips on what to do to make an appointment, whether you’re a woman or a man. Do you always have to follow them? No, I suggested a certain model that you can use if you usually do not manage to meet the person you care about. Try, see how it works with you. Remember only that regardless of the result – the world does not collapse if you fail. Draw conclusions and move on. Ah, I was supposed to tell you why you should make an appointment, not a date.
A question of mystery. And you both know that it will be a date, after all it’s known. But using the word meeting, you do not reveal all the cards, which makes you unpredictable. And the one whose movement can not be easily predicted … Usually he is the one who wins.